Tuesday Talks: How To Make Friends on a Lifestyle Vacation?

Tuesday Talks: How To Make Friends on a Lifestyle Vacation? | Episode 85

In this episode of The Swing Nation Podcast, the top-rated podcast about non-monogamy and swinging, Dan and Lacy tackle another “Tuesday Talks” listener question — this time from Rachel, who’s prepping for a lifestyle vacation but feeling unsure about how to make connections.

Rachel worries she and her partner won’t have the same fun, social experiences Dan and Lacy often describe since they aren’t traveling with a friend group. She wants to know how to meet people, find groups to vibe with, and set themselves up for a great trip.

She also asks the question so many are curious about — how should a couple approach Dan and Lacy if they’re interested in playing?

Dan and Lacy break it all down with practical, reassuring advice on making friends, building connections, and navigating lifestyle vacations with confidence.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

This podcast is intended for adult audiences over the age of 18. It contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice.

SPEAKER_01 0:22

Welcome to the Swing Nation Podcast, a podcast by swingers for swingers, where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle. Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe, interview the extraterrestrials, learn and grow together. Join the nation. People are asking how do they get to go to a party or an event with us?

SPEAKER_02 0:52

They check out swingerssociety.net. You create a profile, you sign up for an event, and you come hang out with us.

SPEAKER_01 1:00

That's right. If you want to party with us or any other faces and names that you know from social media and TikTok, head on over to swingerssociety.net.

SPEAKER_02 1:09

Can't wait to see you there.

SPEAKER_00 1:14

Tuesday talks. Just send your questions to Dan and Legacy. Tuesday talks. Swing Nation got you feeling sexy. Tuesday talks.

SPEAKER_02 1:25

Talking Tuesday with Dan and Lacey. How about that high note?

SPEAKER_01 1:31

That's perfect. Hey there, pineapple people, and welcome to the Swing Nation podcast. We are your hosts, Northern Guy.

SPEAKER_02 1:38

And Southern Girl.

SPEAKER_01 1:40

I almost forgot my name now. I know. I was throwing it to you before it was your turn.

SPEAKER_02 1:44

Yeah, usually I try to sell your name instead of yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:48

All right.

SPEAKER_02 1:48

Glad you're here with us, Babe. Glad you're here.

SPEAKER_01 1:51

Back with another uh Tuesday talk episode.

SPEAKER_02 1:54

Yeah. So this question is actually not really a Tuesday talk question. She just emailed us in response to last week's Bliss cruise. But I read it and I was like, and we were driving down the road the other day, and I was like, you know, I really think that would be a great Tuesday talk question because we are currently in the middle of going through our bliss recap, and this has to do with bliss, and I just kind of felt like it fit in perfectly. Okay. So, Rachel, I'm stealing your question and using it for Tuesday talks. I hope that's okay.

SPEAKER_01 2:26

All right, let's hear it.

SPEAKER_02 2:27

Okay. So it says, hello, I'm currently listening to your current podcast about Bliss Cruise Bliss Cruise. I love the stories of the orgies you get to be a part of due to your established friend group. My partner and I are considering a Bliss Cruise or HETO trip, but this will be our first lifestyle vacation. I'm concerned we could go the whole trip without these opportunities because we are new and don't have established friends. What are your thoughts on being new and finding groups to play with? You also mentioned people are intimidated to approach you. How would you suggest people approach you if they want to play? Again, I don't know, but it seems to me like we're all there to play. So why not just be up front and ask people if they want to meet up later to play? Thank you, Rachel.

SPEAKER_01 3:14

Rachel.

SPEAKER_02 3:15

I thought it was a great question.

SPEAKER_01 3:16

Those are great questions, especially uh bliss cruise related bliss.

SPEAKER_02 3:20

Because I think I think that's a very valid question, especially if you're new in the lifestyle or never been on like a lifestyle vacation. You don't want to spend all this money and then go and then not have exp. Not that like you should have those experiences because you spend a lot of money, but I also kind of get it. You know, you you want you you want you want to have fun. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:42

So this is kind of a double-edged sword, right? Because let's be honest, if you if we listen to our podcast, right, we always say, oh, you need to go into no expectations, right? You go into a party, you go into a uh a club, you go to HETO or Bliss Cruise, and and what you don't want to do is go in and saying, I expect that we are gonna do A, B, and C, right? You have to go in with an open mind and then make genuine connections and then follow through with them. That is 100% the true. And that is 100% I would give the advice to anybody going to an event or uh on a cruise.

SPEAKER_02 4:14

But at the same time, you're spending like upwards of $5,000 on a trip. And by God, I want to get laid.

SPEAKER_01 4:20

Right. You know, I mean so those two things can be true at the same time. You can say, hey, you should go into a trip or uh uh into a club or into an experience with zero expectations. That's true. But at the same time, it is not it, we all go into those things hoping that we're gonna have an experience. Or at least most of us. There might be some people that are new and and aren't quite ready, so they're they're hoping to go and not have an experience. But for the most part, I think most of us, the whole reason we're going to a swingers club, the whole reason we're going on a swimmer vacation, is because we have want to have naughty experiences. That's why, that's why we're going on a bliss cruise and not a vanilla cruise or something like that. Uh, so I think it's completely normal to want to have those experiences.

SPEAKER_02 5:02

So I think let's like break down her question. So the first part of it is she's asking that if you're newer and you like, for instance, we're gonna say, well, I mean, we can do Hito Ambulus because they're kind of different, but let's say you're going on the Bliss cruise and you do not know a single couple on that ship. That can be a little scary, but it also can be a lot of fun. Yeah, yeah, you know. Um, so my advice to you is there are a lot of different ways to connect with people prior to boarding. So Bliss has like an actual Bliss app that you can like, for instance, there's a February cruise, people are already messaging each other on there now, and you can do that. They also have Facebook groups, they have Telegram groups, and you can make connections and start chatting with people and kind of like pre-making those friendships.

SPEAKER_01 5:54

As well as we have our Discord server and we have chat groups for all the all events that we do. We start a chat group for. So there are, yeah. So it doesn't actually really doesn't matter if you're going to HETO, if you're going on a Bliss cruise, even if you're going to a club. Most of these places have community pages, whether that's on Facebook, whether it's on Reddit, whether it's on Discord, uh, whether they have their own app and ways to connect with people ahead of time. Basically, any lifestyle thing you're going to do, there's probably a way to connect with people ahead of time and start having a lot of people.

SPEAKER_02 6:27

It could be as simple as an RSVP list. And then you go down that RSVP list and just start messaging people. If people, if anybody like spot sparks your fancy, you know? So that is definitely a good place to start. Um, you can start building those friendships, making connections, sending naughty pictures, whatever you need to do to feel more comfortable going in. And it can even be like, hey, I'm going to the topless travel pre-party. We all what hotel are y'all staying out? Do y'all want to just like go ahead and plan to meet there so we can like introduce ourselves? We can have dinner before. I mean, you could do you can do all of that.

SPEAKER_00 7:03

Right.

SPEAKER_02 7:03

You can also do none of that. Right. And that's fine too. You could just show up on that day and just find people that you're interested in, whether it be for friendship, for potentially hooking up, whatever, and just introduce yourself. You know, to be honest, we don't do a lot of the pre chatting and meetup because it's just it's it's very hard to kind of turn that into something. So a lot of times we'll just wait until we get on the ship or get on the resort and like go up and just introduce ourselves to people. Sure. I feel like for us that works better. So I mean, I think that depends on the couple and your play style and if you if you enjoy chatting beforehand, all of those things you have to take into account.

SPEAKER_01 7:47

Well, I think a lot of reason we don't do the chatting ahead of time is we just don't have a lot of time a free time to do it as well.

SPEAKER_02 7:53

Yeah. Um, so that that is one good thing, uh, or a couple of good things.

SPEAKER_01 7:57

Yeah, that that those are good things. Okay, so ahead of time, right? Before for an event, ahead of time, connecting on the apps and social media pages and community pages is one way. So then once you actually get there, most of these events will host meet and greets. And again, it doesn't matter if you're talking about HEDO, if you're talking about Bliss Cruise, if you're talking about even lifestyle clubs or you know, hotel takeovers, most of the time for a hotel takeover, if it's like a Saturday only, the Friday night will be like the meet and greet. Uh, you know, I know when we do club takeovers, a lot of times the either the day before the during the day we'll have a meet and greet at a certain restaurant or something like that. Um, on Bliss Cruise, they have all kinds of different meet and greets.

SPEAKER_02 8:35

Yeah, I mean it could be like under 45, over 45, hall pass. I mean, you name it, they're gonna have a meet and greet for it, basically.

SPEAKER_01 8:43

Right. Now, HEDO, the meet and greet is kind of the pool party every day.

SPEAKER_02 8:47

Well, Hito is, I think HEDO and like a typical hotel takeover that's smaller in size, they're a little different because it's not 3,000 people, it's like 200 people. So you kind of have to introduce yourself and kind of and get to know people that way or more organically than I would say some of the larger style.

SPEAKER_01 9:06

Right. And but even Hito and some of the hotel takeovers, that that pool party during the day really kind of serves as the the time to meet people and talk to them and get to know to get to know them.

SPEAKER_02 9:18

Yeah, for sure. Um, so I think it's you know, like so to go back on what she said, what are your thoughts on being new and finding groups to play with? I don't think you need to have a group, to be honest with you. I think sometimes when we don't have a group, it kind of forces us to meet new friends to kind of uh get out of our shell. And I I think that's a lot of fun.

SPEAKER_01 9:42

Yeah, I think it's fun, but it also is it's daunting, even for us. I think you know, there's been times here where we've gone to events in the last year or two when we didn't have our built-in friend group come with us, and it was just basically me and you, and we basically didn't know anybody. We've kind of had got a little reality check and saying, wait a minute, we need to actually go walk around the pool and start talking to people and not just sit in our corner and and be quiet. You know, we need to put ourselves out there. Uh, and so really the answer is how do you meet people and how do you connect with people is you have to put yourself out there.

SPEAKER_02 10:11

Yes, you do. And I think that's like the overarching like answer to your question is you're gonna have to put yourself out there. You're going to have to walk up to somebody and be like, I love your vibe. What's or how are you? Do you want to go to dinner? What's that?

SPEAKER_01 10:24

You know, I love your hat, I love your swimsuit, I love your dress, I love your nails, you know, whatever the thing is.

SPEAKER_02 10:29

You're super attractive. Let's chat. You know, I mean, you have to put yourself out there. And I will say that is much harder than you think it is. I struggle with it, even with the platform that we've built and and and all of the thing in the years that we've been in the lifestyle, I still clam up and struggle with it. So usually in a couple, not both both of you are not great at this, usually it's one or the other. So you kind of have to, you have to work together to kind of get through all of these feelings. But you definitely you've got to put yourself out there and you've got to mingle, you've got to chat, you've got to do all the things.

SPEAKER_01 11:04

Now, I will say, as daunting as it is to walk up to somebody and approach them like that, everybody wants you to do that. Yeah, you know what I mean? Like the secret is everybody in that room wants somebody to come up and talk to them. Well, that's what she said. Everybody there wants to be approached. So, like when you see those couples and they're sitting in the chairs against the wall, or you're at a pool and you see that that couple that's over there in the corner of the pool by themselves. Know that even though it's hard to go up to them and approach them, they want you to do that. Yeah, that's why we're all there.

SPEAKER_02 11:33

Yeah, that's what like she said in the in the email, we're all there to hopefully fuck somebody. I mean, give or take a few, but we're all there to hopefully find a connection and and be swingers with. Yeah. So I I think we have to remember that. Yeah. Okay. So the next part of our question is it you also mentioned maybe people are intimidated to approach you. How should people approach you if they want to play? Um, I think being upfront and honest is in like kind of laying it out there.

SPEAKER_01 12:02

Yeah, I for us, I'm not sure. I think for us, so if we're if we're talking us specifically, so I think I have no problem with if you if you are a person that is like is down to fuck on the for, you know, as soon as you meet people, if you want to go up to people and be like, oh, I think you're really hot, you know, we're getting ready to hit a playroom. Do you want to come with us? For if that is your play style and that works for you, good luck, go out, do that. And if it works, great, and if it doesn't, you know, then try try again. For us, I don't think we are the type of couple that if you just come up to us out of the blue and say, Hey, you know, me and my husband think you you two are hot, do you want to go fuck? I don't think we're gonna say yes to that very often.

SPEAKER_02 12:40

Correct. But if you come up to us and say, Hey, me and my husband think you're hot, and we'd love to get to know you over the next couple of days and maybe like maybe something. See if there's a connection, yeah. See if there's more there, that would we would probably uh pick that up. Yeah, yeah. Especially if there was a mutual connection there. We would definitely not ones that are like, hey, let's go fuck. Right. That's just not not that that there's anything wrong with that. We have some good friends, that is 100% their play style, and we 100% love that for them. And to be honest with you, there might be times where that's our play style.

SPEAKER_01 13:15

But for the most part, yeah, if you drop that at like midnight on a you know on a Saturday and we're kind of like, you know, we're feeling frisky, we're feeling frisky and wanting something.

SPEAKER_02 13:25

But for the most part, we we want to have dinner with you, we want to get to know you. We want to dance with you. We want to dance with you.

SPEAKER_01 13:30

We want to do the whole foreplay thing.

SPEAKER_02 13:32

Yeah, but I think being open honest, because I think what the reason she's saying this is she asked this is because in the last week's episode, I talked about so many people come up to us and they're like, hey, we love the podcast, something like that, and then they walk off. And I don't know if that means they like love the podcast, or does that mean like, hey, we're interested? And I think that's where this question is coming from. So I guess like just putting it out there, but not in a let's go fuck with it. Let's go fuck right this way.

SPEAKER_01 13:58

I think if you said came up and you said, Hey, we listen to your podcast, you know, we really like your guys' vibe and your energy, we'd like to get to know you better. Do you guys want to hang out a little bit this weekend, this week, today? Um then we we would know where you were going with that. Yes. As opposed to if you're just saying, Hey, we like your podcast. Yes. To us, that's well, you like our podcast. Cool. Yeah, thank you.

SPEAKER_02 14:17

Yeah, we really appreciate that. We've also got questions of like how to get in our friend group. Um, and we kind of, Dan and I were talking about this and we were driving the other day, we were chatting about it. And and honestly, a lot of the people that have made we've become friends with kind of just inserted themselves in the best possible way. They've just kind of been like, we're gonna be friends and we're gonna hang out. But it's that same way.

SPEAKER_01 14:39

If you came up to us and said, Hey, we listen to you on the podcast, we see you guys on social media, you know, we really like your vibe, right? Because you guys have, you know, you guys we don't see you, but you see us, right? So you if you come up to us and say, Hey, we listen to you guys, we really like your vibe and your energy, we'd like to hang out. We'd be like, Yeah, come hang out with us. Let's get to know each other. Yeah, and then what probably was gonna happen is you're gonna be hanging out with us, and our four or five other couple friends are gonna be there too, and we're gonna say, Oh, hey, this is Yeah, because we're probably gonna get pulled away.

SPEAKER_02 15:04

The truth is, we're probably gonna get pulled away, but we're gonna introduce you to our friends, and that it just kind of you have to be almost like an independent, you have to be like kind of hold your own. You have to be fine with us walking off and coming back. And I think that's a lot of our friends are very um what's the word I'm looking for? They know that we're busy, right? They know that we might not be able to hang out all night, but then at midnight we're really want to go fuck and hopefully they're okay with, you know, a lot of our friends know that we might not text you every single day, but we're gonna text you and be like, hey, what's up? We miss y'all, but that doesn't mean that we just are too busy to talk. It just means like we are very, very busy and we have really good intentions, but we just we are there's just too much going on, you know. So I think the friendships that have really worked for us and the the connections have been more of like understanding people that kind of get it, that know we're being pulled in a million different directions. Right.

SPEAKER_01 15:56

Yeah. So if you came up to us and said, you know, you like our vibe and you want to get to know us, we would introduce you to our friends, and it might be that 10 minutes later we had to piece out and go do an interview or go do a club tour coming back, right? But then we'd come back and pick back up where you left off, and then hopefully, you know, in that time in between, as we got to know you, maybe by the end of the night, you know, hey, we're going to orgy, you guys want to come with us, you know?

SPEAKER_02 16:17

Like hopefully you've made friends within the friend group. And a lot of times uh friends get brought into our friend groups from friends, so they'll be like, hey, we've had this couple and they're so cool, and we know that everyone would hit it off with them, and then they'll bring them into the floor.

SPEAKER_01 16:29

If you bring them to dinner tonight, yeah, bring them up.

SPEAKER_02 16:31

For sure. Everyone's welcome. Um, and so I think that's kind of how it how it works. But I think what you know overall, what your question is, is how do you make connections? How do you you just gotta put yourself out there? Yeah, you I mean, if it's to us, if it's to someone else, whoever it is, and it can be awkward and uncomfortable, even for us. But unfortunately, if you want to be in the lifestyle and you want to be successful at it, you kind of have to do it.

SPEAKER_01 16:58

So I mean, it's basically dating, like all those awkward uncomfortableness of you know that you had to go through dating as a monogamous person, it's like that, but then a little more complicated because there's more people involved.

SPEAKER_02 17:09

But the good thing is you have your partner to rely on, you know. So, like if you're not great at being making that first move or walking up and saying hello, maybe they are. And then you can like once they say that first few things, then you can hop in and it you kind of work together, you know, on it. And that so I think find your you'll find your way.

SPEAKER_01 17:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:27

It's dating with a buddy.

SPEAKER_02 17:29

Yeah, dating with a buddy.

SPEAKER_01 17:30

That's great.

SPEAKER_02 17:31

But I, you know, honestly, if you're thinking about going on a lifestyle vacation like Keto Bliss, anything any of the big, you know, big events, you're gonna have a blast. And I I hope more people do it because we are so blessed to be able to get to go on these like amazing trips, and we don't take it for granted, and we know that it they're they're so much fun. So I I kind of hope all like when swingers come up to us, like, what should we do? Should we do Hito? Should we do Bliss? Should we do Naughty? Should we? I'm like, you need to do them all, and I get that you can't probably can't do them all at one time. So, like maybe pick one a year and kind of go through them and you'll figure out what your favorite is.

SPEAKER_01 18:09

Yeah, and really some of them are like life-changing type. Yeah, they are, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:14

Yeah, and we're just like super fortunate that we get to go on all of them for the most part and get to come here and get to tell y'all about it, and y'all get to listen and write in and tell us what you know. So we it's it's kind of amazing. So we thank y'all for that.

SPEAKER_01 18:28

Yeah, thank you. Definitely.

SPEAKER_02 18:30

So thank you, Rachel, for your question. I hope we answered it appropriately.

SPEAKER_01 18:34

Uh yeah, I think the bottom line is you got to put yourself out there.

SPEAKER_02 18:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:37

Um, and then uh go from there.

SPEAKER_02 18:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:40

Uh all right. If you have a Tuesday talk question, we would love to hear from you. Yes. A few different ways you can get a hold of us. You can email us at theswingnation at gmail.com. Email us your question at theswing nation at gmail, or you can text or call us, and that phone number is 972-302-7716. One more time.

SPEAKER_02 19:02

972-302-7716.

SPEAKER_01 19:06

So we appreciate all the phone calls, all the texts. There's we've been getting some um sexy nude photos. For real. So I appreciate that. Uh uh uh and yeah, definitely shoot us a text or give us a phone call if you have a Tuesday talk question. We could use some more.

SPEAKER_02 19:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:21

Uh always. We'd love we love hearing from you guys. And if we don't get from you, if you you know, if you submitted one and maybe it's been a month or two and we haven't uh answered it, feel free to submit it again. Sometimes they kind of get lost.

SPEAKER_02 19:32

Yeah, or sometimes we see some stuff we're like, oh that's a good one, and then you know or sometimes we've answered that basically the same thing within a few weeks, so you someone will circle back. So definitely send it back in, or or if you think of if you think of more than one, you can send in a whole bunch. We'll we'll pick from your list.

SPEAKER_01 19:48

That's right. All right, well, anything else for the Swing Nation listeners? I think that's it. All right, in a world full of apples.

SPEAKER_02 19:55

Be the pineapple.

SPEAKER_01 19:56

Be the pineapple guys. Bye. Bye. If you've enjoyed our podcast and want to support us, leave a five-star review wherever you're listening. If you want to see more of our content, you can find links to Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, OnlyFans, and more in the show notes. Come join the conversation with us and other Twinger content creators on our Swinger Society Discord server. If you have questions or feedback, email them to us at thustwingnation at gmail.com. Make sure you head on over to thestwingnation.net and keep up to date on all things swing nation. We thank you so much for joining us and we'll see you next time. Goodbye.