Tuesday Talks: The BYOB Guide to Swinger Parties

Tuesday Talks: The BYOB Guide to Swinger Parties | Episode 99

In this episode of The Swing Nation Podcast, the top-rated podcast about non-monogamy and swinging, Dan and Lacy are back with another Tuesday Talks, answering real listener questions from inside the lifestyle.

This week, they hear from a listener who is preparing to attend a BYOB lifestyle event and has a lot of practical questions. What kind of drinks should you bring? Do you need a bag to carry them? Are you expected to haul your drinks around all night? And while we’re at it… can you stash your toys in the same bag?

Dan and Lacy break down how BYOB events are extremely common in the lifestyle and explain the different ways these parties are structured. Some events provide mixers while guests bring their own liquor, while others require you to bring everything you’ll want for the night. They also talk about practical tips like finding ice, managing your drinks throughout the evening, and the best ways to keep things simple without feeling like you’re carrying a full bar around with you.

Whether you’re heading to your first house party or a BYOB hotel takeover, this episode is packed with helpful tips and real-world advice to help you show up prepared and ready to enjoy the night. 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_05 0:00

This podcast is intended for adult audiences. Over the age of 18, it contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely does, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice.

SPEAKER_00 0:22

Welcome to the Swing Nation Podcast, a podcast by swingers for swingers, where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigma and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle. Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe. Interview the experts. Learn and grow together. Join the nation.

SPEAKER_02 0:52

Just do your questions to Dan and Next Day. Tuesday talks. Tuesday talks.

SPEAKER_04 1:01

Talking Tuesday with Dan and Lacey. Ooh, how about that high note?

SPEAKER_00 1:07

That's perfect. Hey there, pineapple people, and welcome to the Swing Nation Podcast. We are your hosts, Northern Guy and Southern Girl. And we are back with another rendition of Tuesday Talks.

SPEAKER_05 1:21

We are. Talking Tuesday. I have a TikTok. I want to play for you.

SPEAKER_00 1:27

With Dan and Wazy.

SPEAKER_05 1:29

Hold on. It's like I should have had it ready. It's Wazy. It's like all the nicknames for Dan. Hold on.

SPEAKER_01 1:39

Dang it. Oh no, you can't find it.

SPEAKER_00 2:16

Were you Googling nicknames of the band?

SPEAKER_04 2:18

No. That just happened. No, that just happened to show up on um on my thing. And I just lost the Tuesday talk.

SPEAKER_00 2:28

I feel like you were you were looking for that, I think.

SPEAKER_05 2:31

No, I wasn't, and it just um it just happened to show up on my news feed, and I was like, I am saving that for our next Tuesday talk. I lost our Tuesday talk question because I was so concerned with dangeline.

SPEAKER_00 3:08

I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 3:10

Okay. So are we ready?

SPEAKER_00 3:12

We're ready.

SPEAKER_05 3:14

It says, I have a question. We are new to the lifestyle and wondering if a BYOB, what drinks do you take? And if you take a bag, what do you carry in it? How big is it? And do you take toys? And are you carrying this around all night? Just wondering.

SPEAKER_00 3:33

Okay, so if I'm hearing this question correctly, they're asking several lifestyle events are BYOB. Most of them are, yeah. Yeah, almost all of them. It's very common for uh even clubs to be BYOB, hotel takeovers to be BYOB. Um, most of the time, the times when you're not gonna see BYOB is resorts and like vacations. So like Bliss Cruise is not BYOB, Hito is not BYOB. Um now, some hotel takeovers will not be BYOB if the hotel has their own restaurant or bar, they want you to use that service. So, you know, so anyway, so but they're what they're saying is for BYOB events, what alcohol do you take? Okay, so how much do you take? How do you carry it?

SPEAKER_05 4:19

Let's just okay, first of all, let's say this don't overthinking. It doesn't matter if you walk in there with a suitcase and a rolling cooler, that's fine. You could walk in there with a bottle of jack, and that's it, and that's fine too. Like, I think a lot of people when they're newer seem to overthink a lot of the simple stuff, and it really shouldn't be. Right. So let me just say that first. Okay, so let's start. What drinks do you take? So usually we take um Malibu, sometimes we take Tito's. Sometimes Dan's been drinking high noons lately. Yeah. So we'll we'll take high noons. Um, we've taken Panak, which is the pineapple liquor, you know. Um, but literally we've seen every kind of alcohol.

SPEAKER_00 5:04

Yeah, I've taken Captain Morgan's, Jack Daniels, you know, any anything, whatever your favorite drink of choice is, um, that's what you bring. Yeah. Now, what does become important though is some BYOB establishments provide mixers. Yeah, some do not. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 5:22

So you just need to find that out before you go. Um, obviously, if they provide the mixers, yay, that's great. You don't have to deal with that. If they if they don't, then you obviously have to bring what so whatever, you know. If you want a jack and coke, bring your coke. I like Malibu and pineapple. I'll bring my pineapple. And honestly, sometimes, like, I don't like I only like certain pineapples. So sometimes I'll just bring my pineapple even if they have mixers because I want to make sure that I have the pineapple I like. Yeah. That's fine too. Um, you can also bring um, so they're asking about what bag. So um you a lot of people do those small backpack coolers, right? Especially if you have cans. Uh, I've seen a lot of people do that. They'll put some ice and then the and then that in there. Um, some people just literally bring the box of Trulies or High Noon or beer or whatever they're drinking, they'll just bring that box in. Um, it also depends on where you're going because some will put it on ice for you.

SPEAKER_00 6:26

Right. Yeah, and I think, and again, you know, like you you're saying don't overthink it. And I think that is true, but there is some nuances here that I think. No, it is, but I think like and I think to us, some of it's automatic because we've just done it so much. You're right. Where I think if you've never done it, it might be confusing, right?

SPEAKER_05 6:43

But if you don't know, just get you a little backpack with some ice in it and put your few drinks in there and then just bring it. And then if you if they had ice, okay, well, next time you know. That's what I mean by like not overthinking it. It's like if you're unsure, just either ask, like call the establishment and ask what they're gonna do, or just plan like they're not gonna have anything, and then you'll know for the next time.

SPEAKER_00 7:05

Yeah, because er every one of them is a little bit different, and so I think you know, if you're going into a club, usually most clubs provide mixers and uh or have them to purchase your bottle, you either give it to the bar staff or you keep it at your table, right? So you if you went to a club that provides mixers, you would bring your just your bottle. So for us, it would be like Tito's and Malibu, and then we would either give that bottle to the bar staff and they would mix it at the bar for us, or we would keep the bottle, right? And so we all we would do is just put a little bit of alcohol in the cup. We would go up to the staff, they'd put the ice and they'd put the mixers in there for us. Um, that's pretty typical. Or the other option would be you'd have a cooler or something where you sit and you would have everything. You would have your ice, your, your, your alcohol, and your mixers.

SPEAKER_04 7:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:55

Um, I would say keep it small. So I do, you know, can you bring a drag-behind rolling cooler? Absolutely. Yeah, that's more appropriate if you're going to a hotel takeover, and you're gonna keep that cooler in your room.

SPEAKER_05 8:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:09

Um, if you're going to a club or somewhere where you're I would stick to the backpack size. Backpack size because you gotta think you're you're it's small space. So at most, you're gonna be sitting at a table. You might be sitting at a table with a dozen other people. So you so like how much room you have to keep your actual stuff is kind of limited. Yeah. So the smaller space is better. I know we have a lot of friends now that were starting to buy those pre-mixed drinks. You know, they make uh alcohol drinks now that have like vodka in it. Yeah. And it's in a but it's in a can.

SPEAKER_05 8:36

Like the high noons.

SPEAKER_00 8:37

Like, yeah, like high noons, but there's other ones that are like fruity and things too now. Uh so you know, you can buy even, I think I think you can even get like you know, uh, whiskies and cokes and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_05 8:47

Yeah, you may have a Jack Daniels one. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:49

So it's not a bad idea, you know, if you're going somewhere and you don't want to bring the alcohol and the mixers and the ice, if you can just a backpack cooler, throw some of those on ice, it's a little quicker and easier. Yeah, and then you're not trying to mix bottles and do all that kind of stuff.

SPEAKER_05 9:03

But I mean, it you'll see a little bit of everything, and that's why I say don't overthink it because you like for instance, one time I was on a diet and I was drinking Tito's and lemonade, diet lemonade from Chip-A. I literally went and bought me the diet lemonade from Chip-A and brought it with me.

SPEAKER_00 9:18

And brought it with you to Trapeze, and they kept it behind the bar and they mixed it for you when you want to.

SPEAKER_05 9:22

But then you also see people that you do like the crystal light or the you know, the squirt, you know, or the powders, they'll bring those. So you're gonna see a little bit of everything. I think just like pro tip, keep it as small as you can, you know. Yeah, and you might have to go out and you know, buy a small little backpack cooler, just maybe one that you can carry, just that so it's compact, just for that reason.

SPEAKER_00 9:47

Do they have Malibu? You need you need like a pre-mixed Malibu cool.

SPEAKER_05 9:50

They do have it, they have a Malibu, um, it's called a Malibu splash. They're not my favorite, but I do like them. I just I don't really like the Seltzery drinks that yeah. Um, so that would be my advice. And then they did ask about like a bag. So for us, we don't usually carry anything on ice, we just throw our bottle of alcohol in our bag. Um, and so because most places, unless you're like even a hotel takeover, sometimes they have ice, but nine times out of ten, there is at least ice, bare minimum. So I might bring like our bottle Malibu and then like some pineapple juice. But I usually just have a bag that I carry, and it seems like every couple has that like bag that they use. And for me, I just put like my lingerie, maybe a change of clothes to wear home. If I wore a trench coat, you know, there that goes in it, maybe a change of shoes. Um, yeah, and he asked about toys. Yeah, I I'm a wand girl, so I always have my wand in my bag, but whatever toy you fancy can totally be brought in. And I just usually, and then like maybe some touch up my makeup stuff like Dan usually has a fanny pack that he has his condoms and stuff like that. So that's kind of how we do it. A lot of times we might even have two bags because I tend to bring a lot of stuff, but every we just kind of put everything in one and then and then just go in. And yeah, and a lot of times we'll bring cups too. That's not something that you mentioned, but definitely worth mentioning. Um, a lot of places want a lid on your cup, which I think as a female, it's good practice to have a lid on my cup. So um we have, you know, we've got designated like lifestyle tumblers that we've put like our favorite stickers and stuff like that on there. Those go in it and we just pretty much clean it out and just have it ready for the next time. So that's what we do.

SPEAKER_00 11:40

Yeah, and that's really that's a club kind of setup, and that's a club setup when they have the mixers, yeah. Um, so like uh really the what we do, the only thing we'd really do different at like a hotel takeover is we would bring that same stuff and then we would bring the mixers and we'd put the mixers in the fridge in our hotel room. Yeah, and then most of the time we don't bring like a cooler or anything to like the club area at a hotel takeover. We would just, when we need a drink, we go back to our room, we mix the drink in our room, and then we go back out. And that's that's pretty typical. Yeah. Um, you know, usually you can find ice at hotel takeovers. Sometimes the ice machines do get like overdrawn and and run out. So, you know, having bring if you did go to a hotel takeover and you brought a cooler with ice and had your mixtures in that cooler with the ice, that would be fine. And honestly, that'd be a little safer probably.

SPEAKER_05 12:27

Yeah, like when we go to Naughty in New Orleans, it's hit or miss. Sometimes you get a uh refrigerator and sometimes you don't. So we've gotten to where now we just bring like we have a rolling cooler, I just fill it with ice and drinks, water, you know, our favorite, all of our mixtures, which you have to buy the alcohol at, you know, they have bars there. But like if you want to have like, you know, like a drink in your room or anything like that, or a shot in your room. So the stuff like that, I usually like to keep all of that on ice in a cooler in our room.

SPEAKER_00 12:58

So yeah. Uh yeah, and same thing. You know, it all depends. You you kind of have to, it might take you a time or two, like if you have a local hotel takeover to figure out okay, is there a fridge in the room? Do I have to bring a cooler? You know, does the ice machine work good or no? Should I bring my own ice?

SPEAKER_05 13:14

Kind of trial and error.

SPEAKER_00 13:15

Yeah, some of that is gonna be just getting used to the the environment that you're in, for sure.

SPEAKER_05 13:20

But you there's gonna be people that literally, like say if you're going to a club, they're gonna stop at a liquor store and just get a bottle on the way there, and it's and they're gonna show up with that one bottle and that's it. And so that's why I say don't overthink it, because you're gonna figure it out, you know. Like somebody will have something if they, you know, like you might have to buy the the mixers, you know. I mean, it just kind of depends on where you go. So yeah, I mean, I I think reading the website, checking it out, asking questions, I think is okay.

SPEAKER_00 13:47

Um I was gonna say the best way is probably, you know, if you R S VP for an event and you start talking to couples ahead of time. Yeah. If you're talking to a couple and say, hey, have you guys gone to this event before? And they're like, yes, no, be like, oh, well, how does the alcohol work? Is there ice? Is you know, do they have a good ice machine? Should I bring ice? Should I bring, you know, do they provide mixers? Do I need mixers? They can kind of answer all those questions.

SPEAKER_05 14:06

Or if you just don't want to ask anybody and just be over prepared, then the next time you know, oh, well, we didn't need this, this, and this. So either way, it's fine.

SPEAKER_00 14:14

All right. I hope that answers that question about how to prepare for a BYOB event. Uh, it really comes down to alcohol, ice, and mixers and how do you keep them cold. Yeah. And how much room you have to store all that stuff if you have the room to store all that stuff. Um, but it definitely is, I think, a learning curve and it's going to depend every event's a little bit different. Yeah, I agree. All right. So if you have a Tuesday talk question, we would love to hear from you. There's a few different ways to get a hold of us. You can email us at theswingnation at gmail.com, theswing nation at gmail, or you can call or text, and that phone number is 972 302 7716. One more time.

SPEAKER_05 14:59

972-302-7716.

SPEAKER_00 15:03

Uh, we would love to hear from you. You can call, leave a voicemail, you can text us your questions, or you can even text us a voice memo um with your questions, and you can send Lacey dick pictures. Yes. All to that phone number. Um, and we look forward to hearing to you. We could we could use some more questions. So please, if you've got one on your mind that you've been thinking about, it doesn't have to be lifestyle related. It could be um what nail polish Lacey uses or some kind of question like that. Uh, if you have questions about our personal life or anything else that you've been wondering about us or the swing nation podcast, or of course, all the Dear Abbey lifestyle questions. If you had a weird situation, if you've got a funny story to tell, uh, give us a call. We'll take, we'll have to hear all of it.

SPEAKER_05 15:50

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 15:51

All right. Anything else for the Swing Nation listeners? That's it. All right, guys. I think with that, in a world full of apples, be the pineapple. Be the pineapple, guys.

SPEAKER_05 15:59

Bye.

SPEAKER_00 16:00

Bye. If you've enjoyed our podcast and want to support us, leave a five-star review wherever you're listening. If you want to see more of our content, you can find links to Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, OnlyFans, and more in the show notes. Come join the conversation with us and other Twinger content creators on our Twinger Society Discord server. If you have questions or feedback, email them to us at dustwination at gmail.com. Make sure you head on over to dustwination.net and keep up to date on all things Twin Nation. We thank you so much for joining us, and we'll see you next time. Goodbye.