Secrets Hideaway Survival Guide: Pack, Play & Connect

Secrets Hideaway Survival Guide: Pack, Play & Connect | Episode 238

In this episode of The Swing Nation Podcast, the top-rated podcast about non-monogamy and swinging, Dan and Lacy break down everything you need to know before your first trip to Secrets Hideaway Resort.

With the next Swinger Society takeover just weeks away, they’re here to make sure you show up confident, prepared, and ready to have an unforgettable experience. From what to wear and what to pack, to understanding the daily flow of events and how the resort operates, they cover all the essentials that first-timers often overlook.

Dan and Lacy also share their best tips for making connections, navigating social dynamics, and setting yourself up for fun, sexy experiences without feeling overwhelmed. They talk about how to approach conversations, read the room, and get the most out of your time both day and night.

Whether you’re brand new to the lifestyle or finally making your first trip to Secrets, this episode is your ultimate guide to doing it right. Don’t miss this must-listen breakdown to help you get the absolute most out of your upcoming getaway.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

This podcast is intended for adult audiences. Over the age of 18. It contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice.

SPEAKER_03 0:22

Welcome to the Swing Nation Podcast, a podcast by swingers for swingers, where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle. Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe, interview the experts, learn and grow together. Join the nation.

SPEAKER_00 0:59

We are.

SPEAKER_03 0:59

And today we got a special subject. Yeah. We are talking secrets hideaway resort.

SPEAKER_00 1:07

One of our play favorite places to go.

SPEAKER_03 1:09

Right. And how to prepare for a Swinger Society Takeover or how to prepare for a takeover. This is going to be somewhat specific to our event, but I think you could apply it maybe to other takeovers at Secrets.

SPEAKER_00 1:22

Or just if you're going. I know a lot of people will like Google, and a lot of times our podcasts will come up. So if you are listening to this and you know you're going, I think you just kind of apply it to yourself in your situation. But uh overall, we're going to be talking about our event because we are hosting one in about two and a half weeks. We've done a few of these over the years, but secrets is kind of a big deal in the lifestyle. I feel like if you're in the lifestyle, it's somewhere you need to go at some point. So I think having a few of these out there is okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:53

No, I agree. And I think another thing I will say is I feel like Secrets has kind of gone mainstream. You know what I mean? Yeah. If you think back to like our first Secrets takeover, I didn't really know what Secrets was. Like I feel like it wasn't as like prominent of a thing as it is now.

SPEAKER_00 2:09

Or maybe we're just in the I don't know. I mean, uh, Secrets has been around and they've definitely put in the work, but it's definitely one of the top lifestyle uh resort type locations in the US for sure.

SPEAKER_03 2:23

Yeah, for sure. Uh okay, so getting ready for our takeover. All right. So the first thing uh I want to talk a little bit about um is what I guess what to expect. So let's let's just explain what secrets is, um, just generically to start with.

SPEAKER_00 2:43

Okay, so first off, it's called Secrets, Hideaway, and Spa.

SPEAKER_03 2:46

Resort and Spa.

SPEAKER_00 2:48

There is no spa. Do they mean like spa by like hot tub? I don't know, but I sometimes forget that. And then we have people ask, you know, like where to go get a good massage, and I'm like, huh? And then it kind of dawns on me. I don't I don't know where the spa came in, but it's actually not a spa. It is an older hotel that they have flipped essentially into kind of like the ultimate lifestyle destination within the US. Uh, so it is kind of like been custom built to fit the lifestyle. So it is a hotel takeover, it is a pool party, it has a club, it has food, um, it's playrooms, playrooms, a dungeon. I mean, it has a little bit of everything, and honestly, it's just a badass time for lack of a better word.

SPEAKER_03 3:39

Yeah, and I I do think, you know, I like you mentioned the the resort and spa thing. I think some people get the wrong expectations of secrets when they think of it as like, oh, we're going to this five-star resort.

SPEAKER_00 3:53

No, it's like spring break. It's like swinger edition spring break, where like you think of like desire in Mexico and stuff. To me, those are like nicer, fancier. This is not that. This is like we're there to party our asses off, have amazing sex, to dance, to do all the things, and to go home exhausted. Not really to like, it's not really like sleep in, lounge by the pool, have a nice sit down. That's not what this is not what this is. Right. This is like party from the moment you wake up to you can't.

SPEAKER_03 4:24

I think spring break. I've heard it called swinger spring break a lot, and I think that is the idea, right? Uh and yes, I think if you're going into Secrets and you're expecting a five-star resort, relaxing, you know, resort and spa type experience, that that's the wrong mentality. Um, you're going in there and your your room is just a place to sleep, and you are there to party. Yeah. Uh, and like you said, the best thing about Secrets is it is built for lifestyle parties. Yeah. It has all the essentials that you need and built in a way that makes the most sense to have a lifestyle party, right? So it has a nice pool that is waist deep, that is warm and heated, uh, you know, it has the club that's right there, it has the playrooms that are right there, it has rooms that all have open glass showers that are all custom theme made, where every room is different and has a theme. Like, if I was gonna build a resort for the lifestyle from scratch, from the ground up, it would be basically secrets, but just like a new building. Yeah, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 5:26

And like we need to give credit where it's due because secrets does get some shit. And honestly, they have done amazing like with what they have built there. I mean, and there's really nothing like it that I've ever even seen. It's sort of definitely a one-of-a-kind experience. I just think you need to seem to go in with proper expectations.

SPEAKER_03 5:47

Yeah, I would encourage people to go back and listen. Uh, we actually had um James um Jr. Junior the third uh on the podcast, and he he tells a little bit about the story behind Secrets. Uh and so I mean we can touch on it real quick, but if you don't know, uh kind of how Secrets got its start is James Sr. was throwing lifestyle parties at the the hotel when it was not a lifestyle.

SPEAKER_00 6:11

It was like a old Ramada.

SPEAKER_03 6:12

Like it was a Ramada. Yeah. Uh and so they were they were doing like what we do now, right? Like we we go to different hotels and we throw takeovers, and they were just throwing a club party in the club area, and you could get a room and stay at the the Ramada, right? And my understanding of back then in the day, these were not nice, you know, it's kind of like a lot of uh swinger hotels now where they host takeovers, you know, these are it was a two, three-star type hotel, not a nice hotel. Um, and then I guess the hotel actually went out of business. Um, and so they got the opportunity to buy it. Um even the most shitty hotel in the world isn't expensive, right? It's it's that's you're talking expensive real estate. Um, and so they did. And when they bought the hotel, they actually moved into it. Their family, their children, became their primary home for James and his wife, and now you know James uh Junior the third. Uh and they they lived there and they renovated the rooms. They were like going room to room and and and painting and doing just kind of some basic uh upkeep to try to get it uh you know better for the the patrons there. And um then eventually uh Frederick and Barbie came along uh and they invested in the secrets, and then they're the ones that helped turn in, you know, uh Frederick and Barbie. If you know them, they they're no longer with Secrets, but they they were partners with James for a while. Uh and they changed it from a hotel to a condos, and this is where they broke the hotel up into every room as a condo, and then they sold those condos individually, which is really what helped raise the capital to then really invest into secrets and and kind of get it to where it is today. Yeah, which is a crazy story.

SPEAKER_00 7:49

Yeah. And then James was able fast forward to buy it back, buy you know, Barbie and Frederick out, which is again another amazing thing. And and over the years, and you know, of all the places that we go, every time we go to Secrets, something is improved. It might be new cement, it might be new lines on the in the turf. It could be turf. Cabanas. They're always making improvement. It's honestly like kind of a rag to riches Cinderella type story of somebody that was just in the lifestyle that saw a need and just kind of took a chance.

SPEAKER_03 8:28

And I can only imagine um the pushback they've received. I can only imagine um, you know, some of the hurdles they had to jump through. Um, but now secrets, you know, the new pool, the new tiki, you know, they've renovated the club, they've renovated the playrooms. It's, you know, it's not perfect. Some of the rooms still have some issues, you know, it still is a 1980s Ramado.

SPEAKER_00 8:50

And some rooms are still very original. You know, you're gonna pay for what you get. You know, if you if you are on a very strict budget and you get one of the very, very basic rooms, that's gonna be your experience, you know. And some people are totally okay with that, and some people are not. So I I think that's okay. I think that they need to have things that are priced like that for people that need a more affordable option.

SPEAKER_03 9:15

Yeah. Uh so anyway, that's a little tangent, but I just I thought it's important. I think Secrets is a is a good story. Um, and I and I don't I get I know they get some slack about like how much things cost and and all that. Uh, but as somebody that has run a lifestyle business here for a little while, uh, I think I can understand that, right? These things cost a lot more money than you think. And and to um put out a product like Secrets puts out every weekend, um, there's some expense in there, and I can only imagine how much money um they have invested in that place. It shows over over the years. Yeah. Uh okay. So now let's talk a little bit about a takeover, right? So what you know, when we say we're doing a secrets takeover, how is that different than maybe just going to secrets on a random weekend?

SPEAKER_00 9:58

Yeah, and I see that a lot on Reddit where people are like, when is a good weekend to go? And I see a lot of people say, you know, holidays, 4th of July, Memorial Day, um, Valentine's Day, just New Year, something that is always it doesn't matter what lifestyle party is, those are usually big things. So those are always fun. And then obviously a takeover. So basically, and I can't speak for everyone because we don't know the inner workings of their business, but for us, we actually rent out secrets.

SPEAKER_01 10:29

We buy out.

SPEAKER_00 10:29

Yeah, buyout, whatever. Rent out.

SPEAKER_03 10:31

I guess you're renting it for the weekend.

SPEAKER_00 10:33

So yeah, so we pay them for the rooms, and then in order for us to make a profit, we increase the price a little, and then we resell the rooms. And when we do that, we actually have to, because we are charging a little bit more for the rooms than your average weekend. We we have to bring in some level of party, you know, that's different. So now we have you know, entertainment that we have to think of and games, and I mean, just anything that you can think of that elevates a party, we now are in charge of that. And so that's sort of what a takeover is, and it depends on what you're into. Some takeovers are you know geared toward younger crowds, some are geared to an older crowd, some are more kink. Um what's the word? You know, like focused. So you have to find a takeover that kind of fits what works for you.

SPEAKER_03 11:26

Yeah, no, I agree. Yeah. So a takeover, it literally is we've bought out the resort for the weekend and we're bringing our party to the resort. Uh, and and like Lacey said, it, you know, I think the difference between secrets on a normal weekend and a in a takeover event is the difference is we've been planning that weekend for six months to a year, right? If you think about secrets, they have the same staff and they kind of, you know, they they have a party every weekend, right? So there's only so much time and effort and energy and money that they can put into every single weekend, right? So they all kind of tend to be similar.

SPEAKER_00 12:01

Uh all great, still a fun party, but I could think like when you go to a takeover, it just there are slight changes, you know. So that is but also if you go to a takeover and it's not, it may not be your vibe of people. So you really have to find one that fits what you're looking for.

SPEAKER_03 12:20

Right. So ours is a swinger society takeover, and we've really, you know, we've been growing swinger society for the next last four or five years now. Uh, and when we do a takeover at Secrets, people come from all over the country. Uh, people come internationally sometimes uh for a secrets takeover. So it really has turned into quite an event.

SPEAKER_01 12:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:41

Um, it's something I think a lot of people look forward to. I know it's one of our favorite events every year, our secrets.

SPEAKER_00 12:46

And we're booking it, we're essentially selling it out within 30 days, 45 days of putting it on sale. And we do two a year. So we're roughly sold out five months-ish, you know, before the event, which is honestly when we stop and really think about that, it's it's kind of crazy that, you know, that we the reason we started Swinger Society was because of secrets, because we we went there and we sold it out and we we had no financial gain. We just told all of our friends to come. So to think about that to now fast forward to here we are is is kind of it's I don't know, it's I don't what's the word? It's makes me very proud.

SPEAKER_03 13:30

Yeah. No, I agree, I agree. So maybe um, so for this next secrets in April, uh, what kind of things do we have planned?

SPEAKER_00 13:38

Uh we so on Thursday night, we've really taken the feedback from everybody that because we do um surveys, and so we've taken the feedback over the years, and Thursdays people really like for it to be more of like a meet and greet, get-to-know type situation, very low-key, not so much party, party, party, more, hey, let's all get to know each other. Let's let's kind of baby step our way into this weekend. So we always play on Thursday nights games. So we um we have, you know, different types of meet and greet games. I I know Secrets does bingo, which is really fun. We do speed dating. We have a nips program. So if you've never been to Secrets before and you're like, I'm gonna need some help, we uh we connect you with another couple or person and they kind of help you along the way. They give you a tour, they introduce you to people, they kind of like bridge that gap between, okay, now I've checked in, now what the hell do I do? So we have a lot of that for Thursday night, just really getting people um accustomed to what we're doing for the weekend.

SPEAKER_03 14:45

Yeah, and Thursdays, you know, I always tell people, um, I think it's the most important night of the weekend, right? Yeah. Uh because Friday and Saturday it gets pretty crazy and busy and wild.

SPEAKER_00 14:56

Wow, it's wide open from the moment your eyes open until you go to bed. It's it's non-stop. So Thursday is kind of like that's slow. It's a little bit of a slower, it's still pretty fast paced, but it's uh it's a little bit slower. And if you are somebody that's never been to Secrets or maybe newer in the lifestyle and you need kind of like some baby steps in, Thursday's a very important night for that.

SPEAKER_03 15:20

Yeah. And I it really lays the foundation, right? It's hard to have a couple swap or have an orgy if you don't know anybody yet, right? And so that's like really leaning into that NIPS program is taking people that have been members of the community for a while, connecting them with somebody that's new to the community, and then having them just go around and introduce you to their friends, right? Saying, like, oh, hey, this is so and so, and this is oh, and they're from that same city that you're from. And yeah, oh, and they know these people, and they know, you know, like, and that's really the goal of Swinger Society. You know, we hear all these critiques about people and uh, oh, it's clicky, oh, it's this, oh, it's that. We have intentionally put all these things in place to try to break that. Now we're still gonna get that criticism.

SPEAKER_00 16:02

Well, because we're friends, we can we see each other a few times a year, and so we get very, very excited when we get to see and we want to hang out, we want to talk, and we it we also want new people in there too, because we like fucking new people. I mean, isn't that what this is all about? So uh before we move on from nips, if this is something it's in IPS, if that's something that you're like, hey, I want to do that, email admin at swingerside.net and let Mandy know that you would like to be a part of it. Either if you want to be someone that needs help, you know, that you need introductions, or if you if you've been around, you know, us a while and you're like, hey, let me help out and you'll be there Thursday, definitely volunteer. We could all, even if if it's not for this secrets in the future, I want to definitely mention that because I don't want people to be like, how do we do get a part of that? That is something to put out there.

SPEAKER_03 16:55

Yeah, and if and if you're listening to this and you're somebody that's kind of came to secrets and you've been a member of the Swimmer Society for for years, bring in those new people, right? I I challenge you to find those people that are sitting on the edge of the pool uh or that are sitting in their their their their uh lawn chairs or their you know, cabana. Because we've always we've all been that person, snag them up, bring them around, introduce them to everybody, uh, you know, find out where they're from, introduce them to some people that maybe are you know are from the same area.

SPEAKER_00 17:21

Totally transform their vacation. You know, we've all been a little shy and not talking to people before. And imagine if somebody took you under your wing and just said, Hey, these are all my friends. You're hot, they're hot, we should all hang out. You know, I mean, just treat people the way that you would like to be treated.

SPEAKER_03 17:39

So and that, like you said, that's the difference between a mediocre weekend and an amazing weekend.

SPEAKER_00 17:44

Oh, for sure.

SPEAKER_03 17:45

Uh, and you know, I don't think people in the community really realize how much of an effect they have on people when they they take that little step to do that.

SPEAKER_00 17:52

Um and Dan and I really try very, very hard to take initiative and do that as well. A lot of times we do get bogged down, and sometimes we have to like run because we're running around like crazy people trying to make sure that everything is going as we planned. So sometimes we have to be like, okay, no, wait, let's pause, let's take a lap, let's check on it, payroll. So we are trying as well, but we we can't do it all, you know. So we need we need people out there to help us make sure everyone is there. 100%.

SPEAKER_03 18:19

Like you're saying, it's like, oh, is the next DJ ready or is the oh, are the room crawl cars that they get put out?

SPEAKER_00 18:24

I see a cloud. Is it about to rain on the 360? You know, these are the things that are going through our head. So we need people to kind of help us foster those friendships.

SPEAKER_03 18:33

Exactly. Uh okay. All right. So I think that helps explain what secrets is. I think that helps explain what a takeover is. Um, so now let's kind of get into the the the guidebook a little bit uh of of some things. So a question that comes up often, uh, and it's probably one of your favorite questions that you can help answer.

SPEAKER_00 18:56

I know that I love this question.

SPEAKER_03 18:57

Is what do you wear to secrets? And I think we really need to break this up into two parts and kind of talk about what you wear at the pool party slash day party, and then what do you wear to the club at night? Okay. Um, so let's start with the pool party.

SPEAKER_00 19:12

Okay, so I want to can I actually start with Thursday? Sure. And just kind of walk through the weekend. Okay, so if you most people are arriving Thursday. Um, so if you choose to go to the pool party on Thursday, awesome. You can choose to wear whatever you want. You can wear a whole piece bikini, you can wear a taikini, you can go in a thong, you could go topless, you could go butt ass naked. Whatever you're comfortable with, do that. I'm gonna be honest, I don't walk out topless. I usually have my swimsuit on and I usually go out there with a cover-up on. And then as the day goes and as I get more comfortable in my own skin, I'll start.

SPEAKER_03 19:49

As you have fireball shots.

SPEAKER_00 19:50

I try not to drink much at the pool. I've learned my listen, I've learned my lesson. See, I have been the victim of secrets pool in the sunshine far too many times. I'm learning in my older age.

SPEAKER_02 20:01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 20:02

But you know, as the day goes on and as the weekend goes on, I do find myself wearing less and less. But I 99% of the time would prefer to wear like my bottoms. So I'm like a wear bottoms and no top kind of person.

SPEAKER_02 20:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:17

So, but if you're new, if you're unsure, wear whatever the hell you want to wear. You do not have to feel any certain way. You could go out there in as much or as little as you like. Now, on third, and this goes for guys too. You can wear a thong, you can wear boy shorts, you can wear shorty shorts, you could go out dick a slinging, whatever you want to do.

SPEAKER_03 20:39

Some guys will wear cock rings.

SPEAKER_00 20:40

Some guys will wear cock rings, some guys. I mean, you I've seen a guy with a hat on his dick out there before. You know, I mean, you just do what you feel right in, you know.

SPEAKER_03 20:49

Now let's talk a little bit while while you're on this subject of what to wear to the pool. What if I'm overweight? Or what if I have stretch marks? Or what if I have saggy tits or a little dick?

SPEAKER_00 20:59

Okay, so we all have things about our body that we don't like, you know. Like I'm self-conscious about my belly, if you want me to be super honest. So a lot of times I'll find cute, like very strappy uh one pieces, but they're like all cut open and there's like and it's a thong, so it's like super sexy, but my belly is still got a little fabric. It's got a little fabric, so it makes me feel a little bit.

SPEAKER_03 21:22

So I'm gonna low sling it kind of.

SPEAKER_00 21:24

Yeah, no, not really sling it, some other one, like a little bit more. There is zero fabric to sling it. As much as I love, well, maybe a few of them.

SPEAKER_02 21:31

There's a few of them and some, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:33

So I'm gonna dress my body, especially when I'm walking out of the room, and I'm so that's yeah, that's when I wear that. And then as the day goes on, I will slowly take that off. You know, and for guys, if you don't think you have a giant, you know, if you think you have a small dick, just wear your shorts. You know, you don't, nobody's making you have your dick out. If you're unc if you're uncomfortable, just wear your shorts.

SPEAKER_03 21:55

It's not we all have little dicks in the pool, too.

SPEAKER_00 21:57

Yeah. Um, so but the truth is is. That everybody there has something that they're insecure. The hottest person at that pool has something that they're insecure about. It doesn't matter if you're underweight, overweight. It doesn't matter. We all have something. We are all struggling with something. And I think remembering that and keeping that, you know, to the forefront is important. Um, also, when you get under the water, it does provide a little bit more. You know, you feel you're not, you're not like agreed. So, like, just get just get in the water. You know, and then you and I think it's important to see other people. We all have something that we want to change.

SPEAKER_03 22:36

It's funny because it's kind of mixed, right? It's like, oh man, I feel a little weird being naked because my you know, my dick's um not hard right now and it's tiny. Um, but also this is kind of fun to be naked in the pool with a bunch of people.

SPEAKER_00 22:49

For instance, Dan has a has a good sized dick, but he doesn't go, he he he doesn't I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 22:54

I don't like being naked. I don't know. For some reason, you just wear your shorts.

SPEAKER_00 22:58

And a lot of guys do that. There's nothing wrong with that. It doesn't mean you have a little dick. It just I just like me, I would prefer to have bottoms on. I don't know, it makes me feel safe. I it makes my pussy feel like it's secure. I don't, I can't explain it. Um, I just like having my I honestly like wearing my bikini top. I feel like I've worked like I've I've worked hard to find these cute bikinis. I want to wear the damn thing, you know. So, so where would you feel confident in? Dress your body to make you feel the best about yourself and just know that we all are struggling with something.

SPEAKER_03 23:31

And confidence is the most sexy thing that you can wear.

SPEAKER_00 23:33

Yeah, and honestly, fake it until you make it. Nine times out of ten, when I walk out of our hotel or our room at Secrets, I am not the most confident. But then I I hold my head high up, high, and I just walk my ass out there. Yeah, you know.

SPEAKER_03 23:47

I think another thing that's maybe important to recognize is okay, so knowing that, right? No, so knowing that we're all going out there into that pool and into that courtyard feeling vulnerable, pick each other up. For sure. Yeah. All it takes is one person to look at you and be like, oh my God, I love that bikini. Yeah. To change now you're you went from like feeling insecure to now you feel like.

SPEAKER_00 24:16

Now I'm like, my my shoulders, you know, I start standing a little taller, and then I walk a little, you know, somebody else says something, and and by the time I get to the pool, I'm like, fuck yeah, I look good, you know. So let's that's why I say fake it until you make it, you know, and let's especially like women, guys aren't. I I can't speak for guys, but we're really we can really change someone's experience, and how amazing is that feeling to know that like your kindness really transforms someone. So I I encourage everyone to try to to take it. Pick somebody up. Yeah, I agree. For sure. You okay? So we're moving on now.

SPEAKER_03 24:52

Are you done with the you talked about pool?

SPEAKER_00 24:54

So you basically so Thursday night we keep it very casual. Um, the club is technically open, but we also have DJs outside.

SPEAKER_03 25:04

We usually try to stick it to under the tiki.

SPEAKER_00 25:06

Yeah, we try we tend to stay outside unless it's like a gazillion degrees, and then we might move. But for the most part, we stay outside. So I usually try to do some sort of theme wear, but low-key. You know, so for instance, um, I need to look up the themes. Hold on just a second. Thursday night is happily ever afters. It's happily ever after hours. So it's very much, it's not, it's not a pool party, but it's not not a pool party. So half the people will be in the pool or by around the bars, and the other half will be participating in, we usually have scavenger hunts and um and bingo and speed dating. So for instance, for this one, because it's it's kind of Disney's-ish themed, I have like a really cute like mini mouse type thing. And then for you, and it's like a bathing suit top with like a little skirt. And then for you, I have you like a Disney, like a naughty Disney shirt, and then some like shorter shorts. So it's like you're casual, you're not like you're not dressed up like a lot of things.

SPEAKER_03 26:09

Yeah, I'll probably be DJing and stuff.

SPEAKER_00 26:11

You're not, you don't have jeans and a pole, you know, or anything like that, but you are you're kind of your theme adjacent, but not overly, you know. So it's and a lot, some people will come out in like a you know, like a summery, like sundress, girls, and then sometimes they'll change and then get in the hot tub and stuff like that. So it's it's really whatever you feel comfortable in. I love seeing people participate in the theme on Thursday, but it's a it's a loose theme. It's not, it's not any, we don't have, you know, we don't have the 360 open, we don't have the, you know, we have some backdrop stuff, but it's not, it's sort of like we're tiptoeing into the weekend.

SPEAKER_03 26:50

Agreed. Uh and then I the only other thing I would say, you know, you talked a little bit about the games and stuff. Play the games.

SPEAKER_00 26:55

For sure.

SPEAKER_03 26:56

Do the speed dating.

SPEAKER_00 26:57

For sure.

SPEAKER_03 26:57

Play the bingo.

SPEAKER_00 26:58

Even if you don't want to have sex with anybody, it's so fun to just make connections and like almost like build a tribe, sort of. You know, we did, I I can think just you and I, we did speed dating on one of our first or second bliss cruises, and we've been on like five or six now, and I still see some of those couples, and every time I see them, I'm like, hey, y'all. It just helps you make friends in the lifestyle.

SPEAKER_03 27:20

You know, even if you you don't want to- Even if they're not people you want to fuck.

SPEAKER_00 27:23

Yeah, you don't have to want to fuck people to like it's always nice to- I will say secret speed dating, you're gonna meet some people you want to fucking. You are even if you don't want to fuck somebody, it always feels good to walk into a room and know someone. Agreed. Even if you don't want to fuck them, it's nice to know someone and have met them and had a conversation with them. So that's kind of the more you like engulf yourself in this environment, the more I think you're gonna feel comfortable.

SPEAKER_03 27:46

Agreed.

SPEAKER_00 27:48

Okay, so now we're just moving into the rest of the weekend. So again, Saturday and Sunday, the I mean Friday, Sunday. Friday and Saturday, the pool is very, very similar. You're gonna wear what you feel comfortable in. Some people wear swimsuits that kind of go along with the theme. Some friends all match. You know, usually people have like real fun hats on that have sayings and stuff like that. Like we always have our merch tent open that has like our merch with like fun quotes. You know, it's it's really fun to see what people come up with, especially the hats. That's really a thing when you're in the pool because a lot of girls have their hats up, their hair up in a hat. So to see all the fun, cute hats that people can come up with is the thing.

SPEAKER_01 28:31

Agreed.

SPEAKER_00 28:32

Um, so that's pretty much what Friday and Saturday is as far as the pool. Now, into the evening, secrets, we tend to go pretty hard into the themes. Uh we love a good theme, we are true swingers to our core. Um, and so for me, I I I kind of like it's my Super Bowl. I always say secrets is my super bowl. So I pull out all the stops for my theme outfit, but that doesn't mean you have to. And that's one thing I think people don't realize. They follow a lot of girls and guys on social media and they see what we're wearing. You don't have everything that we do is gonna be exaggerated. Right, right. Because you are an influencer, right? Yeah, because we're an influencer. We, you know, I when I'm picking my outfit, it's because I know that I'm gonna show it to possibly millions of people on the internet. I'm gonna pick the best possible outfit so I feel the confidence, so it goes viral, so all of that. But if I wasn't doing those videos or doing any of that, hell 99% of the time I'd probably just wear lingerie.

unknown 29:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:31

And then and add stuff to it and make it the theme. Yeah. But I I can't really do that because it's hard for me to get away with lingerie on social media.

SPEAKER_02 29:39

Right.

SPEAKER_00 29:40

So I think so. When you see us and you see those videos and I tell you what I'm wearing, I want you to take that with a grain of salt. Because if you don't like the theme or you can't find anything that you feel confident in, don't fucking wear it. Wear what you feel good in. I think it's always okay to throw in like a black romper, and if you're not feeling that outfit, change. Wear something that you are.

SPEAKER_03 30:03

Agreed.

SPEAKER_00 30:04

And then Dan goes pretty heavily into the themes as well. Uh, you know, I he's he's not one to want to go over the top with it. He's not, he don't want to wear a mask. He don't want to, you know, he'll sometimes wear a wig. So I have to like pick things that I know he'll wear. But yeah.

SPEAKER_03 30:22

Uh another thing, when you're picking things to wear specifically to the club, um, it is going to be hot. Um, so plan accordingly, right? So every single swinger's party we go to, when you cram hundreds of people into small spaces and you're dancing and you're partying, um, heat is going to be a factor. So when, you know, I would avoid long sleeves, I would avoid, you know, three-piece suits, I would avoid long pants. Yeah. Uh, you know.

SPEAKER_00 30:51

And we found that when things are around water, it tends to lean a little bit more casual. So, for instance, if you're going to a swingers club, you might, the guys might have to wear jeans and a and a button up the front shirt or something like that. When you are at like keto or bliss or secrets or anything like that, we found that like guys can wear tank tops and shorts. Tank tops and shorts. Help some guys walk in in a thong, and that is perfectly acceptable. So you kind of have to know where your establishment is and kind of what you're doing.

SPEAKER_03 31:22

So, specifically for secrets, though, there is no dress code, right? So, when you go into that club, you can be wearing whatever uh you want.

SPEAKER_00 31:30

I think your privates have to be covered.

SPEAKER_03 31:31

I think you have to have, I think, yeah, you're you're you can't have your dick out. Yeah, and I think you're China out.

SPEAKER_00 31:36

Yeah, I think you have to have pasties.

SPEAKER_03 31:37

I don't think you can be so pasties and thongs, the middleman, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:40

Yeah, so I think that's all very important. I think shoes are important. Um if you're comfortable. If you a lot of times I will walk in in heels because I want the pictures, I want it to look cute and stuff like that. But at once all of that is done, mine has to change into flip-flops.

SPEAKER_03 31:56

Yeah, more and more girls are going to the wearing tennis tennis shoes, Nikes or something like that.

SPEAKER_00 32:01

Yeah, um, and then at some point in the night, a lot of the ladies will change into lingerie. So that's up to you. If you want to wear lingerie with the same color as your, for instance, I'm gonna be Belle um for Friday night. I think it's Friday night at Secrets, Beauty and the Beast. I have a a yellow dress, but at some point I'm probably gonna change into yellow lingerie. One, it's so much more comfortable, it's cooler, and it kind of sets that sexy vibe to move into playtime.

SPEAKER_03 32:32

Yep. No, I agree. And uh, so I think what? The club opens at nine o'clock, and then uh people are usually probably changing into lingerie 11. Around 11. Uh, and then usually people are going to play midnight, one o'clock, right?

SPEAKER_00 32:46

And guys don't a lot of times guys will start losing pieces of their costumes. They don't usually like full out change, unless like you have unbutton a shirt, take your shirt off. Unless maybe you have like pants and you get hot and you want to go switch into shorts or something.

SPEAKER_03 32:59

Guys might just be wearing their boxers or some kind of speedo thong thing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:04

So that's pretty much the attire. And outside of that, I think the only other thing that I would add in is a lot of times I will bring sundresses, rompers, cover, like stuff like that.

SPEAKER_03 33:18

Because um If you go somewhere to eat.

SPEAKER_00 33:20

If you go somewhere to eat, or if you go into the lobby at Secrets, you need something on. So I tend to, and this goes for any swinger party that has to do with summer and the pool and the beach and anything like that. I tend to just Sheen has rompers for like eight bucks. I usually buy like five, and I have like a romper for each day. And in between running to the pool or whatever, that's what I wear. I don't have to wear a bra. I don't have to wear panties. I just throw that on and go. And it's and it's super easy to pack. So that's kind of my go-to. I don't pack a lot of pants or shorts or anything like that. I kind of keep it pretty simple.

SPEAKER_03 33:57

Yeah. Uh, the only other, I guess, dress and and they keep changing this, but the playroom.

SPEAKER_00 34:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 34:02

Uh, I think you either have to be in lingerie or naked. Uh, and I they keep going back and forth, but I think robes are now allowed again.

SPEAKER_00 34:11

They are. You can actually purchase a secret robe there if you need one, but or you could just bring one. So when it's time to play and we want to go to the playroom, we go to our room, we take everything off.

SPEAKER_03 34:22

No watches, no phones, no smart devices, no meta glasses.

SPEAKER_00 34:27

The only thing Dan takes is his like lube and condom and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_03 34:30

Like a fanny pack with lube condoms, and then I would usually have a robe on.

SPEAKER_00 34:34

And then we go in. So then we don't need we don't need a locker, we don't need anything, and we can walk in with our robes when it's time to to leave. We throw them back on.

SPEAKER_03 34:44

And that's handy at secrets, that's handy at Bliss Crews, uh, Heto, Hito, a lot of places. Uh the robe isn't nice.

SPEAKER_00 34:50

Yeah, if you are in the lifestyle lightweight, lightweight, something that's easy to pack, which if you guys, if you need a good robe, I ordered Dan one for Christmas. It's called Dude Robe. Um, it was a Facebook ad, and then I it's it's actually pretty lightweight. It's got pockets, it's it's a really good. You need something, a lot of those robes can be like pretty bulky if you try to pack them. Yeah, they can be, yeah. And I have a skim's robe that's super easy.

SPEAKER_03 35:14

Yeah, the girls have like silk robes and stuff. That's nice. But I I've had a hard time finding a silk robe that's not that fits my body.

SPEAKER_00 35:20

Yeah, a lot of they're either like girly or it's like that terry cloth thick material. So that was a good one that I found for you.

SPEAKER_03 35:28

Yeah. Okay. All right. I think now's the perfect time to take a little break and hear from the partners and sponsors of the Swing Nation podcast. And then when we get back, we'll tell you more things about how to survive secrets. All right, guys, we'll be right back. Lacey, one thing I don't leave home without when going to a swinger event is my ED medication.

SPEAKER_00 35:58

That is correct.

SPEAKER_03 35:59

Performance anxiety is 100% a real thing. Um, having sex in an orgy room with um a hundred people in there is way different than having sex at home in your bedroom.

SPEAKER_00 36:09

It is.

SPEAKER_03 36:10

Um, so I like to have what we call a little insurance policy and have some of that ED medication in my pocket. Um, shameless care is who I use for that. And they actually just came out with a new product called the Shameless Duo. Yeah. Which is a combination medicine that has Viagra and Cialis in it, so that one, you can be ready whenever, but also it's got that dose that you can take when you're, you know, as you're getting ready to go to the playroom and you need that to kick in. Yeah. So I love it. I mean, I used it at HEDO for the first time, and that that combination.

SPEAKER_00 36:42

You're gonna pretty much switch to that, haven't you?

SPEAKER_03 36:44

That's basically what I use all the time now. Yeah. So if you're looking for ED medication, if you're new to the lifestyle uh and you're going to an event, you might want to get some and have it just handy in case you need it, kind of thing.

SPEAKER_00 36:56

And the really cool thing about shameless care is they don't set you up on a recurring plan. So you're not gonna get all of this ED medication that you have in your nightstand built up. When it's time that you need more, you'll get an email from them and they'll ask you, hey, are you ready for another round? And you can respond back, yes, please refill it, or no, I'm good right now. Thank you. So it's really cool because you don't end up with all these extra pills and spend a bunch of money that you're not, you know, you don't need to spend.

SPEAKER_03 37:26

Yeah, and my favorite part is you don't actually have to go into an office and talk to your family doctor or a military doctor. Um, you can do it all right online from the privacy of your home. Uh, you just go to their website, you fill out some forms, the doctor reviews it, approves you, disapproves you, and you move on from there. So if you would like to get some medication, you can go to theswing nation.info, click on the little recommended apps and products, uh, scroll down to the shameless care icon, click on that, and that's going to take you over there. Uh, there's some discount codes there for you, so you can get a discount off your first order. But uh, I highly recommend if you're going to some events or parties, go get you some lifestyle insurance. All right, guys, check it out.

SPEAKER_00 38:11

Dan, if someone is just recently joining the lifestyle and they don't really know where to begin, what do you recommend?

SPEAKER_03 38:18

Well, the lifestyle, you know, it's 2025. And people are on the internet. They are and there just so happens to be lifestyle websites that are dedicated to people connecting in the lifestyle. Yes. SDC happens to be one of our favorites. Over three million users. You can find people in your area, you can find clubs, you can find parties. All of it is right on SDC. Um, and you can get a huge discount by signing up with us.

SPEAKER_00 38:45

You can.

SPEAKER_03 38:46

So all you got to do is if you're looking for lifestyle people in your area, if you're looking for the clubs, if you're looking for the parties, go to theswing nation.info, recommended apps and products, scroll down to the SDC icon. We'll give you a free trial. Yeah. You can check them out. You can see who's in your area, you can see if it's uh if it's the app for you, uh, all completely risk-free. Yes. So just head on over to thingnation.info and get signed up for SDC today. Lacey, people are always asking, how do we get to a party or an event that you guys are hosting? Like how do we find these things? Where did they exist?

SPEAKER_00 39:19

Yeah, because we're pretty open about where we're gonna be. So if you want to find these places, you need to check out swingers.net.

SPEAKER_03 39:28

Right. So you can go to swingersight.net, sign up for a profile. Most of our friends, most of the people that are attend our events, all are on there and have profiles. So you can message them, link up with them before party, get to know some people. Uh, please become a diamond member. Okay. So this is the way that we keep are able to throw events, or it's a way we're able to have staff. Uh, really, it's the the community that keeps those memberships on swingersciety.net that really keep this whole thing running.

SPEAKER_01 39:54

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 39:54

Um, if you're a diamond member, it gets you early access to tickets. Uh so you can get those VIP tickets in the clubs and you know, those preferred rooms at a place like Secrets. Um, our diamond members usually grab all that up. So if that's something that you're interested in, you definitely want to become a diamond member, or if you just want to support us, support what we're doing, uh, and help us pay our staff, please go sign up and be a diamond member. Yes. It's super helpful for us. Uh, and you can do that by going to swingersociety.net.

SPEAKER_01 40:22

Correct.

SPEAKER_03 40:23

Uh, and sign up today. Hopefully, you come become part of our community, and we hope to see you at a future event.

SPEAKER_01 40:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 40:29

Thanks, guys. All right, guys, welcome back. Welcome back. Thank you for listening to our sponsors. We love our sponsors. All right, so when we left you, we were just talking about what to wear at Secrets, and now I want to talk a little bit about things to bring with you. So outside of your clothes, yeah, are there anything else you can bring? And I'm thinking, you know, this is a swinger's lifestyle resort, right? So you probably need some condoms, you probably need some lube.

SPEAKER_00 41:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 41:01

Uh, what other kind of things?

SPEAKER_00 41:02

Um, you definitely need to bring your towels. You can get towels from Secrets Front Desk, but you have to give them your ID. And honestly, they're like kind of crappy. They're not crappy, but they're they're right.

SPEAKER_03 41:14

Bringing a good set of towels is nice.

SPEAKER_00 41:16

Bring you bring a pull pull towel. Um, uh, obviously sunblock because you're gonna get sun in places that you don't normally bring it.

SPEAKER_03 41:25

Wearing sunblock is very important.

SPEAKER_00 41:27

Yeah, you also want to a lot of people decorate their windows or their doors. So if there's anything that you would like to, you don't have to, it's totally mandatory. Neon sign. Not mandatory, it's totally optional. Lacey said, decorate your door. No, it's totally optional. You don't have to. Um, but yeah, if you want to bring a lot of people have gotten neon signs, and honestly, you can get them so cheap now from like Sheen and Timu, and then get them for like$25. Um, you can decorate your or even your room. A lot of the rooms are kind of pre-decorated, but if you want to add anything to it, lights and things like that. Lights, music, any of that. If you want to bring anything that makes you feel the vibe in your room, totally bring that. Um, and then food, alcohol. A lot of times when we get to public, I mean when we get to secrets, I'll do like a Publix or a Walmart order. They can't bring it to your room, but they'll bring it to the front door and you can meet them. Or you can just go to the store. I like to keep uh quick things, you know. I get some sandwich meat, some cheese, things that are kind of that you can eat very quickly if you don't want to order from seeing they do have food, and actually the food is pretty fucking amazing, which is crazy that it's so good. But if you don't want to deal with that, you can definitely um keep stuff in your room. Also, alcohol, you can drink as much in your room as you like. You cannot take your alcohol into the pool area though, at all. They check your cups coming in um every single time. So, but if you are on a budget and you need to go back to your room and have a shot or two, you can do that. Um, you're paying, obviously, you're paying for convenience if you if you buy the the alcohol within the perimeter of the pool, which is nice. So that's just a personal preference, however you want to handle it. Also, a cool cup, because um a lot of times the cups that they give you at any any pool is little and tiny. If you bring, you know, like a a tumbler or something like that, it keeps it cold, especially with secrets when it's very hot, it keeps it cold, it's easier to hold, stuff like that. So definitely a cup. What else?

SPEAKER_03 43:40

Uh that's about it. Um fans. Or what about you know, Lacey likes the little electric fans. We usually bring the big like rave fans into the club and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_00 43:49

Yeah, it's gonna be hot, so plan like accordingly. Um, obviously.

SPEAKER_03 43:53

What about like electrolytes? Like uh, you know, some uh that's a good thing.

SPEAKER_00 43:56

Yeah, I mean, secrets, like we said, it's spring break. I mean, it's you're going hard. If you do it right, you are really going hard for like a couple of days. So whatever you need to bounce back, definitely bring that. Whatever that is. If it's pediolite, if it's um liquid IV. Liquid IV, whatever it takes to get you.

SPEAKER_03 44:17

Acedrin, aspirin, all that kind of thing.

SPEAKER_00 44:19

Yeah, Gatorade, any of that. Drink your water. We always order water and Gatorade, you know, try to drink those before we go to bed. Anything that's just gonna make you be okay to kind of survive the weekend.

SPEAKER_03 44:33

Then you always bring, you know, your little emergency kit that has any of your own.

SPEAKER_00 44:37

Yeah, I mean, the cool thing about secrets is it's in the U.S. So like if if there is an emergency or whatever, you can get what you need. But I actually travel with like in a little, it's a little bag and it's kind of my, it says emergency on it. I have UTI medicine, I have yeast infection medicine, I have the supplies if my extensions fall out of my hair. I have uh, you know, emergency like kind of over-the-counter, Benadryl, Imodium, all of that type of stuff. Anything that I've ever, you know, a thermometer, anything that I weave account encountered that I need something quick, I keep try to keep it in there so that way I don't have to go anywhere. And that's I give, I guess we have we're gonna talk about pro tips, but like if you can avoid leaving secrets, that is ideal. Once you're there, if you could just relax and enjoy and not have I mean, you can walk and get food and stuff like that, but the least amount you leave, the better for everybody.

SPEAKER_03 45:36

Yeah. All right, so that's what the bring. Let's talk a little bit. Now, this is kind of important, and this has taken us a while to kind of figure out. Let's talk about how the days flow at secrets. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 45:49

So what's kind of the I like that. You know, we talked about the flow of the day.

SPEAKER_03 45:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 45:52

We talked about electric pleasures. We haven't quite figured out the flow of the day. Um, but definitely secrets is for us, we've kind of got that dialed in. For us, we sleep in. We are sleeper, we we we like staying up late and sleeping in. Not everybody's that way. Some people get up and go to the gym. And my hat's off to you if you can do it. Some get people get up, go get a pool, uh, a chair, have breakfast.

SPEAKER_03 46:13

Yeah, I think they're doing like morning stretching or yoga and stuff there now. So like there, you could there's an opportunity for that.

SPEAKER_00 46:18

Whatever, you know, whatever you want your morning to look like, you do that. Usually the pool, they turn on the music, I think about 11.

SPEAKER_02 46:26

11, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 46:27

And people slowly start trickling in. I mean, you're definitely gonna have people that are out there at 8 a.m. and you're gonna have people that don't show up till 3 p.m. So, you know, it's kind of choose your own adventure there.

SPEAKER_03 46:36

Now, if you want a pool chair, yeah, you better get out there early.

SPEAKER_00 46:39

Yeah. The thing is, not a lot of people lay out though. We're all in the pool. That's kind of like how you meet people. That's sort of if you want to play with someone, you it starts in the pool. It starts by like walking around, talking to people, getting to know people, and then later that night when you see them in the club, you can you can kind of pick up where you left off the city.

SPEAKER_03 46:59

You start dancing, you start making out, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 47:00

Yeah, so definitely, you know, we typically get out of the pool noon. You know, that's kind of our go-to. So, and then honestly, for us, we kind of hang out there until for me. I kind of stay until like four-ish.

SPEAKER_03 47:13

Yeah, four or five.

SPEAKER_00 47:14

Yeah, I also try really hard not to drink much at the pool. I like I said earlier, I've fallen fallen victim to secrets. I I am 41, I can't drink all day and then go into the night. I just there's just no way, especially not being a host and not trying to be responsible and make sure. Does it happen occasionally? Do I get a wild hair and somebody has a fireball? Yes, it does. But for the most part, it's secrets. I pretty much got it dialed in. I try to have it's like a drink or two, but outside of that, I try to stay pretty sober during the day. Because once I once I, you know, do too much, then kind of trying to rebound for the night makes it very hard. So for us, I tend to go in around four. Some people stay out there till six, seven, whatever floats your boat. For me, so I can have the most successful night, it's better for me to go in, kind of unplug from people for about an hour. Um, I'll usually order us food. Well, you know, I never nap, but I'll, you know, try to like rest my eyes or cut off my brain, just kind of like slow down, which sometimes I get jealous of people because some of our friends are out having orgies and they're like living it up. They're and I'm kind of jealous, like I get I will kind of want to do that, but in order for me to survive the night at this point at 41 years old, I just can't. I I it's too hard for me to flip that.

SPEAKER_02 48:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 48:44

So we tend to try to go in, try to relax, try to eat some food, you know, whatever we need to do. And then once we, you know, we're done with that, you know, sometimes there's room crawls, sometimes there's stuff in between there. But for the most part, we usually try to get to the club nine-ish, 9 30.

SPEAKER_03 49:03

Yeah. So and one more thing about the pool party before you you leave that. Uh pool games.

SPEAKER_00 49:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 49:07

So I've heard you, the last review. Um, you guys said we didn't do enough pool games. I think I did like one or two last time. So we're gonna explain why up. Uh yeah, so I think the reason I haven't, or I've maybe pulled back a little bit on the pool games, is it tends to pull back on the music. So, like if people what I always say is I base my pool games off the vibe of the crowd, right? So if I see if the music is bumping and people are talking and they're dancing and they're, you know, if it looks like the pool party is functioning the way the pool party should be, right? Where people are interacting and having a good time, I don't necessarily like to pull the music down, bring everybody's attention to me or to the stage.

SPEAKER_00 49:51

Because they quit talking. And then play a game, right?

SPEAKER_03 49:54

Because that what what I have seen in the past is that can somewhat kill the vibe of the pool party, right? You're you're basically saying, okay, everybody, stop what you're doing. Look at me. Okay, let's play this silly game. Yeah. Okay, now go back.

SPEAKER_00 50:06

It can kind of it can kind of and there's like a fine line between like a game being just the right amount of time and taking too long and then people getting disinterested and stuff like that. So a lot of times if things are going well, you pull, you won't really, you don't want to, you don't want to stop it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 50:22

So I'll usually play games early in the day, right? To kind of get because you know, sometimes early in the day, you're like, maybe not that many people are in the pool yet. If they are in the pool, they're not really talking, they're not, they're not really drinking yet, they're not really partying, right? So sometimes a pool game can kind of spark people, especially if it's like a little bit naughty. If you do something a little bit naughty, then people, it's almost like you give people permission to be naughty and then they'll start being naughty with each other. Uh yeah. So I I really try to read the crowd. Now, on the last critiques, y'all tore it. Everybody was like, What happened to the pool games? There was no pool games. We love pool games. So I am bringing pool game energy to this next secret.

SPEAKER_00 50:57

But listen, when y'all do the reviews, I don't want to hear shit. Okay. I don't want to hear to say the game took too long or you did too many. We don't want to hear it. You asked for games, we are stepping it up for games this time. So you get what you get what you get.

SPEAKER_03 51:13

We also have a couple other surprises that's gonna happen during the day. So uh I will encourage people to participate in that kind of stuff. It is fun, it kind of especially being a little naughty and getting that naughty energy kind of going, um, you know, can can be a thing.

SPEAKER_00 51:28

Yeah. Okay, so then but to fast forward to getting to the club, so around 9, 9:30 is when we kind of head into the club. You get there when you want to.

SPEAKER_03 51:39

We get there kind of early to kind of set the party because we are I have heard the difference about swinger society as opposed to maybe some other takeovers is that we don't fuck around. Yeah, when that club opens, everybody is there. Yeah, I guess in other uh some other takeovers, like the club doesn't get going till later at night. Um, and I think the reason that is is swinger society we like to fuck.

SPEAKER_02 52:03

We are swingers.

SPEAKER_03 52:04

Uh and it this swinger society is a group of swingers, and so come midnight one o'clock, our group is going to go fuck. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 52:11

Um so we party earlier, we fuck around midnight-ish. So that so so to to kind of continue the night, usually around midnight one is when we try to transition to the playroom. Obviously, Dan does DJ some now, so we that has kind of thrown a little wrench in our sex life here, babe. But um, so but that's kind of how we try to kind of push it, you know. And then some people, if you don't, some people don't want to go play right then, some people wait later. Typically we try to play around midnight one, so that way we can try to be in bed by like two, three. So that way we can again get up again around 10, 11 the next morning and then redo it the whole day over. So that's sort of the flow of the day for us. That's how we kind of work our day.

SPEAKER_03 53:02

No, a hundred I agree a hundred percent. So really the peak of the nighttime party is like 10 to midnight-ish, is probably when the most of the dancing and partying and making out and all that kind of stuff is going. So that's you know, you want to probably be in there by 10 o'clock. Uh, and then, you know, by midnight, midnight 30, you probably want to start, you know, rallying the troops uh if you're trying to get something going for the night. Um, but yeah.

SPEAKER_00 53:26

Okay, so what's next?

SPEAKER_03 53:27

All right, so that is the flow. Uh, next we're gonna talk about since we just talked about the flow, let's talk a little bit about the playrooms themselves and how that works.

SPEAKER_00 53:38

So, Secrets, I guess probably a year or so ago, redid their entire playrooms, and they're they've have been very nice. I will say Secrets playrooms get very busy, kind of very quickly. And because it it's it is, you know, there's like 150, 135 rooms, but because they say day passes, it could get very busy in there very, very quickly.

SPEAKER_03 53:59

Yeah, it's not unusual to have 500 people in and around secrets at night. So on a Friday.

SPEAKER_00 54:04

So it's kind of hit or miss, you know, you can go in there and it could be completely slammed. You can go in there and at not. I do find that secrets playroom tends to be very, very busy. And so we it's kind of hit or miss for us personally if we're gonna play in there versus like a room. The cool thing about secrets and the windows and stuff like that, playing in your room is really like encouraged. People love walking by and seeing that. So it's really just a personal preference. Um, but yeah, like we said earlier, wear lingerie or a robe or a towel if you're a guy. Don't bring in a bunch of stuff because then you've got to rent a locker. They are very strict, they will check you. Um, so definitely make sure that you um you are doing all of those things. And they have some smaller rooms, they have big orgy rooms, they have like a theater type room that has beds and stuff. So it's, I mean, it's it's a fun place. Uh there have strict rules, they have attendance at work. So if you ever see anything, or do you know, if you if you have any issues, definitely take it to someone that works there. Um, but you know, it's it's it's pretty standard to the stuff.

SPEAKER_03 55:16

Yeah, I'm trying to remember. Secrets is you walk in, you grab a towel, and you bring or you grab a sheet, and then you bring your sheet to the bed, put it on, play on the bed, and then you pick your sheet up, throw it in the thing, right?

SPEAKER_02 55:26

Correct, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 55:27

Uh so yeah, like Lacey said, there are several different rooms. Some of them you can close a door and there's no windows. Some of them are closed doors with windows. There's a big circle orgy bed in the middle. Uh there's some beds around the room that are kind of open to the room, but they're individual uh spaces. It really is a pretty good, it's small, but it's it's a good play space. They have a great big uh huge group shower in there. Uh if it's your first time going to Secrets, I would encourage at least walking through the playroom. If you walk through the playroom around midnight, it's probably when it'll be you know midnight, 12:30, 1 o'clock is the peak. Yeah. Go just take a walk through, take it all in. Uh, there's also a dungeon space. Um, so if you are a kinkster, if you like uh dungeon type stuff, uh spanking, flogging, um, St. Andrews Crosses, and all that, uh, they have a space for that. They usually have some um educators and dungeon masters in there. So if you have questions about any of that stuff, you can go in there and you can talk to them.

SPEAKER_00 56:21

You don't have to be naked to go in the dungeon.

SPEAKER_03 56:23

You can be clothed and walk through the dungeon. I think the biggest rule in there is you have to play, you have to be participating in a kink activity.

SPEAKER_00 56:32

But you can definitely like walk through. It's not it's very common for people to kind of like take a lap and kind of to get off the street.

SPEAKER_03 56:39

But don't go just go in there and just fuck. You have to you have to be doing something kinky in the kink space. Yep. Um yeah. Okay, and I so that's basically something.

SPEAKER_00 56:48

It's it's a very I will say it's a very busy playroom. I definitely think if it's your first time, deaf go through, make a lap. But also if you are intimidated, that's okay. Go fuck in your room with the blinds open, and I think you will equally get in that same sort of hot, we're getting watched type feeling if that's what you're into.

SPEAKER_03 57:10

Yeah, no, 100%.

SPEAKER_00 57:11

I get a little overwhelmed by secrets playrooms. Yeah, and another And I'm we've been doing this for a long time.

SPEAKER_03 57:15

Another suggestion I'll make, not only for the play spaces, but for the the entire resort, is we do have YouTube video tour videos of Secrets Resort and the PlaySpace and the dungeon space. So if you're curious about what these spaces look like, they're the tour videos are a couple of years old now, but I think they're still we we did the the playroom after it was renovated. Yeah. And the resort was I don't think the the I don't think the tiki was there yet. So the pool I think had just been.

SPEAKER_00 57:40

Can you um can you tag the show that all that's gonna be?

SPEAKER_03 57:43

I can maybe drop those links in the show notes so that if you need to go take a take a tour of the resort.

SPEAKER_00 57:48

It might be time for an updated one.

SPEAKER_03 57:49

Uh yeah, maybe get in the get the tiki in there. Uh, because there it is a that whole tiki space is nice and new, and we haven't really shown that yet. So maybe we can maybe we can add that. Uh okay, so that's the playrooms. Uh all right. So the next thing I think we need to talk about, and this this comes up often uh when referencing secrets is setting expectations for your trip.

SPEAKER_00 58:13

Yeah, I think this is important to talk about because a lot of newer people, you know, because it's in the US, it's a it's an easy first or first few type of thing, uh type of lifestyle events. It also, if you've been in La Salle for a while, but you've never done like a resort and then you go to this, it can be quite over. It's it's spring break. It's fucking wild. I mean, that's the best way I can describe it. It's it's it's a wild ass time.

SPEAKER_03 58:40

Girls gone wild kind of vibe.

SPEAKER_00 58:42

Yeah, yeah. Um, so I think with any lifestyle vacation, um well, I think with any lifestyle interaction, there can be expectations. But then you you add in these bigger things like secrets.

SPEAKER_03 58:56

I paid a bunch of money to be here.

SPEAKER_00 58:57

Yeah, where I've flown or I've driven six hours and I've paid for this, you know, room, and now we've bought alcohol and now we've got food, and we've we've been in these chat rooms and we're chatting, and we've been, you know, we've got all of these plans. And then actually, you know, you can do that. This can be said for bliss crews, for he does for anything that's, you know, of substantial amount of money, and that, you know, that that can be whatever that is.

SPEAKER_03 59:19

And has a substantial buildup.

SPEAKER_00 59:20

Yes, especially like something like a secrets where these people have been planning this for a year. Yeah, for a year, and they've been chatting and they've been thinking about their outfits, and there's so much buildup. There can be pretty high expectations, even if they're not intentional, you know, even if no, there's never been a conversation with your spouse, like he's like, you better fuck somebody or something like that. It could just be like more of an internal, I've put so much work and effort into this. By God, I we better be fucking somebody. Yeah. And I think that's a normal case.

SPEAKER_03 59:51

No, I agree.

SPEAKER_00 59:52

Um, but it it's a it can be a lot. It can be, I think giving yourself some grace, especially if you've never been, or you know, you maybe you don't know a lot of people. If you're good, we've been to secrets where we've never been to that party before. It's not our party, but it's one that we've never, and we we ended up not playing with anyone because it's very hard to walk into a situation and not know anybody and then meet somebody, make a connect, somehow decide to go to a playroom and then go to a playroom and then it all work out the way that's a larger one. Everybody's dick gets hard. So I think just knowing that going in that you're just having fun, you're there for an experience, whether it be having sex with someone or not. Um, if you don't make any connections, just going with your spouse to the playroom and and having sex, or maybe having sex with your blinds open or something like that. There's ways to still have a really good time, even if you don't make a full swap or you don't whatever you can add in whatever you want to do there. Um I think there's ways to still have a really fun time without being too hard on yourself.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:02

No, I agree. I could I couldn't agree more. I think a lot of people do because of the buildup, because of the anticipation, because you know, maybe they've heard of and listened to the podcast and they've heard about all these wild crazy stories. I think some people go in with the expectations of if we don't end up ha having giant orgies every night, waste of money. You know, it was a failure, and you know, uh maybe it was falsely advertised to me. It's not our people message us and email us and and basically like cuss us out, you know, and say, you know, how dare we like hype this up and and then because they didn't have the experience that they wanted.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:38

We are very fortunate because we have so many friends and we've been doing this for so long. Like our friends, they know that we're too busy to chat, they know that we're too busy to, and then they at midnight they're like, Y'all coming? You know, like but we've worked years and years and years to build that, to facilitate that, and we are very fortunate. But if Dan and I walk into a a party that we know no one, that's hard for us to to then end up playing with someone. We are no different than anybody else. We're just fortunate that this is our party, and all of our friends book it because we've known them and we've kind of curated this friend group, and we, you know, and then they find people that they bring people in, and then we get to meet those people. And so we are very fortunate in that case, but we're just like you if we go to a party and not know anybody.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:31

Yeah, and I think if you know, so I you definitely should have a zero expectations.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:35

And I know that's I think we all do have expectations going in, but even if it's not spoken out loud, it could be an internal, this is what I want to see happen. Yeah, it doesn't, it doesn't even have to be like we better fuck somebody, it can just be something inside you that you feel. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:50

Now, I would say if you do want to have an experience though, um, the best way to set yourself up for success is one, get into the chat rooms ahead of time, start talking to people, yeah, start laying that groundwork. It's okay to if you have fantasies or desires or experiences you want to have, to put that out there. For sure. Sometimes just saying it, saying, Oh man, my wife would really like to have a gangbang, or oh, I would really like to suck dick at on the side of the uh secrets pool. Um, so if you have these fantasies, putting them out there in the to the community and to people that you're you're talking with or you're interested in, to us, I think that works the best every single time. It's when you when you put out into the world the things that you desire, usually your friends will then help you try to make those things come true.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:37

For sure.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:38

Um, and then I think so. Do that, get in the chat rooms, put out, um, you know, put it out there into the world because people don't know what you desire unless you say it. Uh, and then once you actually get there, this is what happens a lot is people in the Discord groups and in the in on Facebook talk a very big game and they say they're gonna do all these things and they say they want to do all these things, but then they get there in real life and realize you could talk a big game online, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:04:05

It's hard in person.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:06

It is, it's very hard to it's hard in person the harder in person to put yourself out there, right? Because then the fear and the insecurities and the the body image and all that, you know, the fear of rejection, the comparing yourself to other all that then is now in the real world, right? And so you have to you have to work through all that. So um once you actually get to secrets and you you you know you gotta you gotta then put yourself out there, you gotta get in the pool, you gotta talk to people, you gotta chat with people.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:32

My advice is just talk to people. Yeah, you don't have to say, hey, you wanna fuck. You don't have to do that either. Hey, this is your first time at Secrets. Yeah, this is oh, awesome. Yeah, we've been here twice. This is our second time. Where y'all from? Y'all from around here? No, we're from just just have a just have a fucking conversation. It doesn't have to be sexy, it doesn't have to be raunchy, it doesn't have to be anything like that. You don't have to lay your best game down, just make friends. Talk to people, just talk to people. And if you're and if you see somebody on the other side of the pool that's not talking to somebody and you're not talking, walk over there and say hello. Um, so many people, you know, we get people that write in or whatever, they're like, Well, I went to a swinger party, nobody talked to me. Okay, my first question is how many people did you go up to and talk? You you can't expect people to talk to you if you're not willing to go talk to people. And listen, I'm preaching to my own choir here. Like I said, we have been to parties and not known people and we have struggled with this, especially because we go to a lot of parties and we know people, so we don't have to, we don't have to push ourselves. So you're not alone. We all have to do it, you know. And and listen, if you have one part of your couple that is more um invert, yeah, more introverted or maybe has a harder time, this is when you lean on the partner that is more comfortable. This is when they shine, you know. This is when you help build your partner up. This is when you, you know, just all the things. So, and also. Great opportunity to be a wingman for your partner. Yeah. This is my husband Dan. He just he said you're he was telling me how beautiful you look, you know, and like, oh my god, he did man.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:10

The wingman, the best thing about being a swinger is is your partner can be a good wingman.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:14

I mean, we just talked about this at Electric Pleasures. A girl came up to me and said, Hey, I, you know, I know we don't know each other very well, but like I'm super into Dan. If that can happen, guess what? We ended up in a fucking orgy with her. And I pulled Dan to the side and said, Dan, she's really into you if you want to pursue that. And he did. Right.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:32

I probably never had you not pointed that out to me specifically, I never would have because I just wouldn't have known.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:37

And good on her to come to me. Like that is so hot, woman to woman to come. And I've had guys come to you and be like, listen, I'm super into Lacey, and I don't know if she's feeling me, if she's not like that.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:48

It's a good safe way to do it.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:49

It's a great safe way to do it. So pull build your partner up, help them out.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:55

Swingman for them.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:56

Don't throw them in the deep end. Don't be like, hey, my wife wants to suck your dick. Don't do that.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:59

You know, you know, don't freak your partner out. But there's ways to like slowly inch into that with still being respectful.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:07

Agree. Uh, couldn't agree more. Okay. In closing, pro tips from Lacey.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:14

Oh gosh. Um, my pro tip is to not drink too much and go in um early.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:20

So pace yourself.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:21

But now at the same time, I say that, but at the same time, I am jealous of the ones that don't. So if you are one that can party and then transition and get back to the party, you know, before 10, my hat's off to you. I wish I could do that. Um, but if you want to survive the weekend and and it not be a complete shit show, you need that break in between.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:46

Uh a few pro tips from me arrive early.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:50

You don't have to come in on Thursday. No. You can come in on Wednesday. You can come in on Tuesday. Sometimes getting there before the chaos and meeting people, um, if you know, if you can have the opportunity to do that and go a long ways. You can also stay late. Sundays at Secrets, um, Sunday, Sunday night is sometimes my my favorite. Um, sometimes we don't also don't leave the room, though. Uh so I think arrive early would be my first pro tip. Um, staying late, if that's an option, also good. Sundays can be one of my favorite days at Secrets. Um, confidence, I think, is the key. Even if you gotta fake it till you make it, um, compliment people. Go around, compliment people, talk to people, and complimenting somebody is the first the perfect way to start a conversate conversation for sure. Um, and then pace yourself.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:37

Yeah, the alcohol, you really got to be careful. Secrets, the sun, the alcohol's flowing. Usually there's room crawls. My advice for room crawl is pick one type of alcohol, whether it be vodka, tequila, whiskey, whatever you want to. And then I do every other. So if there's five rooms and I'm only drinking vodka, I'm probably only gonna do two shots, you know. Um, so pace yourself. We have seen people completely shit faced from the room crawl. You don't want to be that person. Pace yourself, eat food, drink your electrolytes, drink water, make friends, share contact information, compliment people, and just have fucking fun.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:19

Yeah, I think secrets is one of those events that really um can change your life, you know, if we're being honest. And I think if you come to Secrets, you're probably gonna make um friends that you're gonna have for life.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:30

And if you don't make friends, you probably need to look in internal. You know, I mean I don't mean that bitchy, but like if you leave there and you didn't have fun, you didn't, you know, exchange context, like you did probably didn't, you probably didn't take advantage of the situation. You probably didn't put yourself out there enough. You probably didn't, you know, uh you because everybody just is so happy there and everybody is having so much fun, and it's just you just kind of have you have it's like like when we're younger, you have to put you gotta do it. You just gotta do you just gotta pull that band-aid off and be like, hey, my name is Lacey. I love that hat. Where did you get that? Because that is badass, and also you're handsome. You know, you just kind of have to do that.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:16

And I'm really hoping that uh I get in a gang bank tonight.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:21

Yeah, you can do that.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:22

Uh so yeah, uh, so that's it for Secrets. Um, so if you would like to come to Secrets, you need to go to Swingersociety.net. Rooms are sold out. I don't know how many couples we have on the wait list. It's a ton. Uh, it is that time though when people start canceling and it kind of We had somebody canceled today.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:40

I saw that email.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:41

It kind of becomes a last minute scramble. So if you're still trying to get a room, feel free to email admin at swinger society. Mandy is gonna answer that. And if she can get you in a room, I promise you she will. Uh, there is overflow hotel information on swingersociety.net.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:58

Uh, and then um something new, something new is you can pre-book your day and night passes.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:05

If you think that starts today.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:07

If you don't have no, it's yeah, it's already started. Um, if so if you don't have a room, and a lot of times we'll just say bypass at the door, and some people are fine with that. Um, some people just like to have it, they like to get it. And so now we have a link for you that you can actually uh go in and and book that so you're done. All you got to do is show up. And I would say, listen, it's it's the most fun if you have a room. We're not gonna lie to you. It is a blast if you have a room. But if you just want to come, we want you to be there. It you're still gonna have a fucking blast. Right.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:39

Yep. You can buy the day passes and night passes online ahead of time, swingerside.net. Um, if you have a room for this secrets and you want to hold the same room for the next secrets, you can now do that. Right. So if you have a room for this, it's like now to the 14th, I believe.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:57

This is something new that we just came out.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:58

If you have a room for this secrets and want to book it for September secrets, you can do that now. Email admin at Swinger Society, let Mandy know. I want to keep my room for the next secrets. Otherwise, Sunday morning, everybody at secrets will be able to book the next one. And then the week after the Diamond Club members. So if you're a Diamond Club member on Swingersciety.net, the week after Secrets, you'll be able to book the next secrets. And then the week after that, it'll go on sale to the public if there are any rooms left.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:27

So a couple of dates I want to talk about real quick. Um, April 1st, which is today through the 12th, is that time period. If you are coming to our April event, you have a room and you would like to go ahead and pre-book, same room. You cannot make any changes, same room. If you're in room 140, you get room 140 in September. If you want to do that, you email admin at swingersighty.net, and that is a$25 fee. Um, you and maybe it'll get you booked. You only have until the 12th. After that, it is cut off because your room goes to the public.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:01

Your room goes to diamond, I guess.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:02

Goes into the pot for the next group of people. Um, we can we cannot extend that. We will all be in route to secrets at that point. So that is our cutoff time. Um, and if you are thinking about coming to our September Secrets, now is the time to like we need to start planning that now because it will be sold out probably by the first of May. So go ahead, just know that. The dates for our September um secrets is September 17th through the 19th. The themes are CEOs and office hoes, and then we're doing hard hats and hammers. So leaning into that like worker type um feel. So we are super excited.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:45

Near Labor Day or something, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:13:46

Yeah, it's near Labor Day. We do two secrets a year, so that will be our fall secrets. So if you I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear it if you can't get a frame. We have been warning you for a while now. So um now is the time to be thinking about that. If you are not going to secrets, you're not a diamond member, you just are listening to us, just get a diamond membership. And so you'll be the that'll be your first opportunity to do that.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:10

Yeah, I think a separate thing on that diamond membership thing is that's really one of the best ways. If you support like what me and Lacey stand for, uh if you support you know these events and things like that, um, just sign up for a diamond membership. Um honestly, we've never taken a paycheck from Swinger Society. Um so that money all goes into the events and it goes to paying our staff.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:30

Yeah, I was about to say the really that those memberships just kind of cover our staff. Right.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:34

So if you've worked with Mandy and Diana and you appreciate what they do and you want to make sure that they get paid next week, um, sign up for one of those diamond memberships.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:42

And then that gives you, and basically, if you don't know, diamond membership gives you first availability to book everything. So um, and that and then and then that helps us. So thank you.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:53

Thank you. All right. Anything else for the swing nation listeners? Anything else about secrets?

SPEAKER_00 1:14:57

Nope, that's it.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:58

All right, guys. I think with that, in a world full of apples, be the pineapple. Be the pineapple, guys.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:04

Bye.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:05

Bye. If you've enjoyed our podcast and want to support us, leave a five-star review wherever you're listening. If you want to see more of our content, you can find links to Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, OnlyFans, and more in the show notes. Come join the conversation with us and other Twinger content creators on our Twinger Society Discord server. If you have questions or feedback, email them to us at thustwingation at gmail.com. Make sure you head on over to thustwingnation.net and keep up to date on all things Twing Nation. We thank you so much for joining us and we'll see you next time. Goodbye.