Tuesday Talks: Let's Talk Test Results

Tuesday Talks: Let's Talk Test Results | Episode 105

In this episode of The Swing Nation Podcast, the top-rated podcast about non-monogamy and swinging, Dan and Lacy are back with another Tuesday Talks, answering a listener question about one of the most important — and sometimes awkward — parts of navigating the lifestyle: sharing STI test results.

This week, a listener asks whether Dan and Lacy ever play spontaneously without sharing test results first, and what the best way is to bring up testing in the moment — especially in a group play setting where things can move quickly and conversations can feel a little uncomfortable. Dan and Lacy share their honest perspective on how they approach STI conversations, why those discussions matter, and how to bring up test results in a way that feels respectful, confident, and natural instead of awkward or confrontational.

At the end of the day, these conversations are a key part of building trust, setting expectations, and creating safer, better experiences for everyone involved. Tune in now to hear Dan and Lacy’s advice on how to handle the STI conversation with confidence in the lifestyle.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_06 0:00

This podcast is intended for adult audiences. Over the age of 18. It contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice.

SPEAKER_01 0:22

Welcome to the Swing Nation Podcast, a podcast by swingers for swingers, where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle. Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe. Interview the experts. Learn and grow together. Join the nation.

SPEAKER_04 1:05

Ooh, how about that high out?

SPEAKER_01 1:07

That's perfect. If you've enjoyed our podcast and want to support us, leave a five-star review wherever you're listening. If you want to see more of our content, you can find links to Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, OnlyFans, and more in the show notes. Come join the conversation with us and other Twitter content creators on our Twitter society discord server. If you have questions or feedback, email them to us at dustwination at gmail.com. Make sure you head on over to dustwination.net and keep up to date on all things TwinNation. We thank you so much for joining us, and we'll see you next time. Goodbye.

SPEAKER_00 2:15

Tuesday talking. Tuesday talk.

SPEAKER_04 2:22

Talking Tuesday with Dan and Lacey. How about that high note?

SPEAKER_01 2:27

That's perfect. Hey there, pineapple people, and welcome to the Swing Nation podcast. We are your hosts, Northern Guy and Southern Girl. And we are back with another rendition of Tuesday Talks.

SPEAKER_06 2:40

With Dan and Wacy. With Wacy and Dan.

SPEAKER_01 2:46

Um, okay. Uh this week's question, you've brought out the iPad.

SPEAKER_06 2:51

I did. We left the phone at home.

SPEAKER_01 2:52

We left the phone at home. So we went to the iPad, uh, and it's connected to the same Apple, whatever. So you got text messages on there and uh you got a text.

SPEAKER_06 3:01

I did.

SPEAKER_01 3:02

All right, let's hear it.

SPEAKER_06 3:03

Okay, so it says, Hi Dan and Lacey. I know you often talk about sexual health and protection, but I'm uh but I'm wondering, do you ever spontaneously hook up with other people without asking them for test results? Which would probably put a damper on the mood. I mean, if you just show up to an orgy and everyone is naked and ready to play, how exactly do you go about asking for test results without ending the sexy mood? Great question, especially coming off of we did we did one on protection.

SPEAKER_01 3:31

Yeah, we just did a Tuesday talk talking about condom usage. And uh so I think this is a natural follow-up to condom usage, is kind of a little bit of the etiquette of asking for receiving test results. Do you still play with people if you don't get test results? How's all that work? And I and I really wanna like we're gonna give you like the no bullshit the way we do things, and it's not necessarily the way I would teach and tell you to do things.

SPEAKER_06 3:56

We're just gonna be honest. And and like we're not experts here, guys. Like, we just this is what we found works for us. Uh so take it with a grain of salt. Do what makes you feel right, right?

SPEAKER_01 4:08

And I can remember like when I was in the army, they always used to do like, okay, you gotta learn how to do this the right way so that when you cut corners, you basically like understand the risk that you're taking, right? No, that makes sense. I really think in the lifestyle, you should educate yourself on STDs and STIs and how they spread and oral versus you know vaginal and how to get tested and where to get tested. And I think you should do all those things on on as regular of a basis as you possibly can. And I I believe that to my core, and I I think me and you do a good job of actually living that in our lifestyle experience. We try our best to stick to what we teach.

SPEAKER_03 4:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:46

That being said, we're still real fucking people, yeah, and we still like having sex. Yeah, and we don't make things super awkward. Like, and for the most part, the people we engage with, we have good long-term standing relationships with, and we trust.

SPEAKER_06 5:00

Let's step back for a minute because I think you're joving ahead.

SPEAKER_01 5:02

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 5:02

So the answer to your question is we spontaneously hook up with people sometimes and don't ask. That's the truth.

SPEAKER_01 5:07

Semi-regularly.

SPEAKER_06 5:09

That's the truth. Um, it happens. Um, is it somebody that we don't know their name, don't know anything about them?

SPEAKER_01 5:16

Sometimes.

SPEAKER_06 5:17

Sometimes, not super often. But usually in that case, somebody in our friend group has kind of brought them in.

SPEAKER_01 5:24

Somebody has been a few random playrooms, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 5:26

I can think of like Hito. Remember one time that girl started talking about the city. The girl that tried to fight you earlier. Yeah. Well, her husband. I tried to fight her husband. But like, you know, so I think if you listen to our podcast, which we are we don't really say names much anymore of like exactly who we fuck just because it's become a thing. But for the most part, if we're gonna just fuck somebody brandy, we kind of tell you that or give you that information. So the truth is, yes, sometimes we hop in an orgy without saying, excuse me, sir, may I see your STD, STI results? I mean, that happens, it happens everywhere in the lifestyle, and we would be hypocrites if we sat here and said that we never do that, because that is 100% false.

SPEAKER_01 6:10

Yeah, and I think it's important to realize like, so me and you have been in the lifestyle for almost 10 years at this point, right?

SPEAKER_03 6:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:18

Knock on wood, we have never caught an S T D or an STI, right? And it's because we get tested regularly, we always use protection, and for the most part, we engage with like known people that we know are getting tested regularly, right? Then, like you're saying, a few times a year, you know, maybe at a HETO, maybe at a naughty in New Orleans, you know, and what most three or four times a year, we might hook up with random people that we don't know.

SPEAKER_06 6:41

But we're using protection. We are tested, you know, all we are doing all the work on our end. Right.

SPEAKER_01 6:46

Yeah. And then there's even some assumption, you know, and then you hope these people, even though they're random people that you haven't had conversations with, that they're also doing the right thing, right? And I and I really think that in this community, most people are not everybody, but a lot of people that take this seriously are are doing the right thing. So there's kind of like even if you don't, you know, talk to people ahead of time and exchange test results, well, if there are swingers and they're part of this community and they're doing the right thing, you're good either way. You know what I mean? Um, but I think to that point, so if you go to a playroom, so for us, right, for the most part, we engage with our friends 80% of the time, right? Then the other percent of the time is we meet new people, right? And it's usually through our friends, but sometimes maybe organically in a pool at Secrets or at HEDO, you know, just at a party or something like that. And then in those conversations, if we have a conversation with those people, we we just we test, we talk about how long have you been in the lifestyle? We talk about what is your play style.

SPEAKER_06 7:42

Yeah, you're asking like you're getting to know them, but you're asking like educated questions because you're going to take their answers and you're like judging, not judging them, but you're you're making like a risk assessment for like a lack of a better word. I mean, you're kind of like getting to know them, kind of and then you're also watching them, you know, like so let's say Hito or Secrets, you know, maybe you get their Thursday, or you know, you're watching how they engage. Are they hopping around to different people? Or, you know, are they like sucking random, like a whole bunch of random dicks on the side of the pool? You know, you you're kind of taking all that in.

SPEAKER_01 8:19

Sometimes a bunch of random people suck my dick. So don't judge me for that.

SPEAKER_06 8:21

But I'm not saying it's a bad thing. I'm not saying, but it is for me, it is something to consider. Like if a guy literally just has his dick out and is letting every single girl, which yes, you do that sometimes, but like if you're just you know, if you you're letting like a train of women line up, you know, like that's something I'm going to notate. Yeah, you know, like you don't want him to be the sluttiest person there, but you also don't want him to be like the prudest there. So you have to kind of find a balance. So like all of that, you're kind of taking that in and and determining if the like it's like a risk assessment.

SPEAKER_01 8:52

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. No, I 100% I agree with that. And then sometimes in those conversations, you know, condom usage comes up frequently. Like, oh yeah, we always use condoms. Oh, do you have any allergies?

SPEAKER_06 9:02

You know, yeah, what's your like what's your uh play style? Or like so we're a full swap couple, we always use protection, we do not play, and we communicate through group messaging. So that right there has very quickly known, let them know we're not separating and you better use a fucking condom, you know.

SPEAKER_01 9:16

Sometimes you might get a guy who says something like, Oh, I hate using condoms. Lacey's like, oh, and that's immediately in her brain that's well, not fucking you.

SPEAKER_06 9:25

So you have to like, while you're getting to know people, you're asking these questions. Um, I do want to point out though, like, for instance, I'm in a bunch of like like when I'm not in a bunch. I used to be in a bunch. I'm in a few like group chats with like a lot of like women, especially, like girls. And leading up to going to an event, we'll all show, hey, just got my S T D test and like send a picture. Or um or like, hey, I got my test results in, just thought I'd share them. You you might not be fucking anybody, but it's like it's just like kind of encourages.

SPEAKER_01 9:59

I would encourage you to do that.

SPEAKER_06 10:04

Oh, well, we didn't get tested. Maybe, maybe we need to, you know, it just kind of like sparks a conversation. I 100%.

SPEAKER_01 10:10

If you are doing the right thing, so if you are going and you're getting tested regularly, I encourage you to take a picture with that little band-aid on your arm and send that in all the group chats that you're in, right? If you get your test results and you're comfortable with it, crop out your personal information and yeah, you can cut, you can like black out your last name. Any personal information that that's on there, and then drop and then, and if you're comfortable, drop that because this is how you change like the culture of the lifestyle.

SPEAKER_06 10:39

Just make it part of like your conversation. So, like, let's say you do all of that prior to even arriving. Um, let's say you're in a big telegram group with a bunch of heedo people, like you're going there, you don't know any of them. We're like, hey guys, just got my test, thought it, you know, like stuff like that. And then when you get there, like that's already done. You've already, you know, like it just kind of it it puts you one step ahead and it lets also people know, hey, I care about my health, I care about your health. So you might not like actually know the person, but there is a potential there that you're gonna hook up.

SPEAKER_01 11:13

I think it's sexy. I think if I see a couple like that and they're sharing that information, it almost lowers like I'm probably more apt to fuck you now, right? Because I know I don't have that's something I don't have to worry about. Oh, look, they're getting tested. Oh, look, they're doing the right thing.

SPEAKER_06 11:26

I mean, like just to share like a personal experience right now, we're getting ready to go to secrets, we leave in a week, and people are starting to post. Hey, we ain't got our test. We're not getting tested until we get to literally like the day before.

SPEAKER_01 11:36

We'll have our results, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 11:38

So, like, we can't do that. And I'm like feeling easy. Like, I need to go, like, I need that picture, I need to share it with everybody. It's just kind of making it sexy so that way when you are in an organic moment, you can just like enjoy and not necessarily all that's done ahead of time. Yeah, also, I think you know, he said, like, if you walk into orgy and everybody's already naked, yeah, I get that's a hard conversation to have. But if you're all walking into a playroom and you're looking for a bed and then everybody starts taking their clothes off and stuff, make it part of your conversation. But like, hey guys, before we start, I need everyone here to wear condoms. That's a that's a hard rule for me. Don't put it in my ass. Also, I got tested this week, everything came back clear, so I am good to go. You don't have to be like, okay, class, let's go around the room. You know, you just put your information out. Honestly, it's sexy. I know it doesn't seem sexy, but it's really like as I've had guys be like, does anybody have a latex allergy? Which sounds like kind of medical and boring. That is fucking hot. When a guy cares about a woman enough to be like, hey, I just before we engage, I want to make sure that no one has any allergies. You know, it's just like make it sexy, make it part of it. We can also take our own advice here. I'm not gonna pretend like that's why.

SPEAKER_01 12:56

Yeah, we don't do that every time, but we should. Yeah, and honestly, the times we don't do it is when every time, if there's an issue, we're like, fuck, before that orgy, we didn't go around the room and talk about it. And so that guy tried to slip his dick in that girl without a condom on because we didn't talk about it.

SPEAKER_06 13:10

And it was it's everybody's fault because we didn't do it. And like, I think it was last year at Splash, one of our friends, Stacey, she went around and she was like, Hey, you know, don't put it in my ass, wear a condom. And if you are switching partners, please clean off and put a new condom on. Stuff like that is so important because not everybody that's engaging in that orgy is going to be like experts, you know, they might not know. They be like, hold on, wait, what does that mean?

SPEAKER_01 13:35

You know, and then if you don't do it, there's no excuse. Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_06 13:39

Yeah, because then because then if somebody because we've recently seen somebody not use a condom in a play. Because they were with a bunch of content creators who just kind of assumed, which I'm not really faulting that person. There was no conversation. There was no conversation, there is no one at fault except for everyone, because we didn't talk about it. So I hope that I hope that helps.

SPEAKER_01 14:00

Right. So all that to say though, I don't think you have to stop in the middle of an orgy and say, when is the last time you get you got tested?

SPEAKER_03 14:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:08

Right. Um, now if you want to do that, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Um, but I think, you know, for us, if we're in the middle of an orgy and there's some hot couple that's beside us and she's like, Can I suck your dick? My answer nine out of ten times is gonna be go ahead.

SPEAKER_03 14:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:21

And I and I know in that situation, I'm assuming some risk, right? But I'm also, like you said, this person, if I've seen them throughout the day, if we've had conversations throughout the day, like I've, you know, I'm evaluating them, or sometimes I may be like, but I'm still I'm gonna use a condom. If we're having oral, I mean, if she has like stuff all over her face, around her lips, I'm gonna say no, you know what I mean? But I'm I'm doing a little assessment and I'm gonna take some risk. Yeah. And again, doing this for 10 years, it's never been a problem. Not to say that sometime we might come back from an event and I might have oral gonorrhea, right? And if that happens, I'll go get it treated and taken care of and lesson learned, right? I might be a little more picky about who I let suck my dick going forward, but this lifestyle is it's about having fun, it's about having good experiences. I don't think you always have to kill the vibe, but I also think if you're trying to do the best and the right thing as much as you possibly can, that that's that is sexy. Um, but I think there's exceptions to every rule, and I think it you know kind of goes back to what I said about the army. It's when you know the rules, when you know how to do the things the right way, when you do cut corners, you then fully understand the risk that you're taking when you cut those corners. And I think it's okay to cut corners sometimes. And sometimes when you do that, it's a hell of a fucking night.

SPEAKER_06 15:34

I mean, honestly, some of our favorite times are kind of when like you just say fuck it and you jump in, which I mean, I don't encourage you to do that every time, but it's it's definitely some of the funner stories.

SPEAKER_01 15:45

And I think the more you're in this, the more it's just again, you know, the more you do something, the more you can kind of you can assess better if it's okay to do it in that situation, right? You can kind of get a better read on couples, you can kind of get a little bit like, okay, is this a responsible person that I want to engage with or not? You know, you you can kind of start to figure out what things to look for, what red flags to look for.

SPEAKER_06 16:09

And so And you're making an assessment without even really, it's not even like a conscious thing, you know, you're just sort of like taking it all in.

SPEAKER_01 16:16

So but uh it can it can definitely be a good time. So I wouldn't say that you have to stop and ask for results all the time. Yeah. Uh and most of the time when when we see people sharing results, I think that is important too, is a lot of people don't share results like here, look at my phone, right? In an orgy or something like that.

SPEAKER_06 16:34

I've never seen anybody in an orgy pull out their test results. It's more of like a conversation. Uh I I I think it's easier to do it beforehand.

SPEAKER_01 16:43

Yeah, I think the group texts and the Discord chats and the like you said, the telegram chats, that's the best time to get all that information and put it out there ahead of time and encourage everybody else that's going to do the same. Agreed. All right. You think that answers that question on how to share your test results? And do you still engage with people if you haven't seen their test results? Um, I think you know, doing it a ahead of time and in those group chats is the best way. And then when you're talking to people, just putting it out there. And then again, if you put it out there and the person says, Oh yeah, I got tested last week, there's some trust that they actually did, right? Because you're not looking at their paperwork. And even when you do look at people's paperwork, often things are cropped and edited. You know, people don't want to show you their full names and ask them.

SPEAKER_06 17:23

I've never had somebody crop anything out.

SPEAKER_01 17:24

Yeah. Well, if you know them though, but yeah, you know, if you were to if you were to drop yours in just a random group text, you probably would crop out some stuff, right?

SPEAKER_06 17:31

I wouldn't drop it in a random group chat. I would I I know the people that I'm in the chat.

SPEAKER_01 17:36

Okay. Yeah, but I can see like you're blacking out your name. Right. Yeah. So even then.

SPEAKER_06 17:41

I would I would probably black out my last name. Right.

SPEAKER_01 17:44

Yeah. So you don't know. People could be, you know, if if somebody wants to be nefarious, right, they could be photoshopping or AIing or who knows, test results and stuff like that. So at some level, you're taking risks just by engaging, no matter what.

SPEAKER_06 17:59

I think the lifestyle has its risk, period. Out the gate, just walking in the door. You there are risks, and then you have to decide where you're where you're comfortable at. Right.

SPEAKER_01 18:09

And just like we talked about on the condom episode, just because they have a test, if that test is a week old or two weeks old, that doesn't mean that they're necessarily don't have something.

SPEAKER_06 18:16

That's just they they take care of their health, they take this seriously. That's really what you're learning about them.

SPEAKER_01 18:22

Yeah. All right. So I think that sums it up. If you have a Tuesday talk question, we would love to hear from you. There's a few different ways that you can get a hold of us. You can email us at theswing nation at gmail.com. You can send a voice note uh to the email. You can also send a video. Yeah. If you want to do a video, me and Lacey talked about it. We could maybe put your video up on the the TV here, yeah, and uh we could watch you and listen to your question. Yeah. Which would be fun. We've never done that before. But obviously, if you send a video, you're consenting to us putting your picture, and that'll be on YouTube. So you know, don't do that unless you want your video on YouTube. Unless you're out, don't do it. Uh and then you can call or text, and that phone number is 972-302-7716. One more time.

SPEAKER_06 19:09

972-302-7716.

SPEAKER_01 19:12

All right. Anything else for the Swing Nation listeners?

SPEAKER_06 19:15

No, that's it.

SPEAKER_01 19:16

All right. I think with that, in a world full of apples.

SPEAKER_06 19:19

Be the pineapple.

SPEAKER_01 19:20

Be the pineapple, guys.

SPEAKER_06 19:22

Bye.

SPEAKER_01 19:22

Bye. If you've enjoyed our podcast and want to support us, leave a five-star review wherever you're listening. If you want to see more of our content, you can find links to Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, OnlyFans, and more in the show notes. Come join the conversation with us and other Twinger content creators on our Twinger Society Discord server. If you have questions or feedback, email them to us at dustwination at gmail.com. Make sure you head on over to dustwination.net and keep up to date on all things Twin Nation. We thank you so much for joining us and we'll see you next time. Goodbye.