Tuesday Talks: Finding Your Lifestyle Community and Events

Tuesday Talks: Finding Your Lifestyle Community & Events | Episode 108

In this episode of The Swing Nation Podcast, Dan and Lacy dive into a heartfelt listener question during another edition of Tuesday Talks. Lauren calls in to share that she’s been struggling to find a swinger community near her and feels discouraged trying to find where she truly fits in within the lifestyle. Dan and Lacy open up about how common that feeling actually is and remind listeners that finding your people in the lifestyle can take time, effort, and sometimes stepping outside your comfort zone.

They discuss the importance of traveling to lifestyle events, meetups, and takeovers — including their own — as a way to connect with like-minded people and build genuine friendships. They also encourage Lauren not to wait around for the “perfect” community to appear, but instead to consider creating one herself by hosting small meetups, social gatherings, or events in her own area. From taking the first step socially to building connections that can grow into something bigger, this episode is all about finding your tribe and creating the community you’ve been searching for. Tune in for encouragement, practical advice, and a reminder that sometimes the best communities are the ones you help build yourself.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

This podcast is intended for adult audiences. Over the age of 18. It contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice.

SPEAKER_04 0:22

Welcome to the Swing Nation Podcast, a podcast by swingers for swingers, where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle. Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe. Interview the experts. Learn and grow together. Join the nation.

SPEAKER_00 0:54

Tuesday top. Swing Nation. Tuesday topic.

SPEAKER_02 1:01

Talking Tuesday with Dan and Lacey. How about that high note?

SPEAKER_04 1:07

That's perfect. Hey there, pineapple people, and welcome to the Swing Nation podcast. We are your host, Northern Guy and Southern Girl. And we are back with another rendition of Tuesday Talks.

unknown 1:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:20

Talking Tuesday with Dan and It's Doug and Wacy. Wacey.

SPEAKER_04 1:26

Every time I see somebody comment Wacey on your TikToks, it makes me smile. So just know that, people. When you comment Wacey, Dan smiles. And I think they said an angel is born. I think.

SPEAKER_02 1:37

Do you want to tell them that somewhere? Why? I called you Doug.

SPEAKER_04 1:41

Oh, geez. No, I'm afraid to tell that story because then it's going to be this Doug's going to become a thing. So I've done a good job thus far of avoiding you coming up with a clever nickname. So I think we just skip over that, pretend like it never happened.

SPEAKER_02 1:52

No, I'm telling you. So we were on the Bliss Cruise, and these people were like, oh, Lacey, we love you. We listened to No, no, no.

SPEAKER_04 1:58

No. They didn't come up and say, Oh, Lacey, we love you. They came up and said, Hi.

SPEAKER_02 2:04

Oh, I heard it.

SPEAKER_04 2:05

I'm sure it is. Uh, but they came up and they said, Hey guys, oh, we love your podcast. We've listened to every episode. We're your biggest fans. You guys are so great. Lacey, I think you're absolutely beautiful. And Doug, thank you for your service and everything.

SPEAKER_03 2:22

I was like, I just was like, oh.

SPEAKER_02 2:26

It's Dan.

SPEAKER_03 2:27

It's Dan. And they were like, oh my God. Yeah, it was pretty funny.

SPEAKER_04 2:30

They called me Doug.

SPEAKER_02 2:31

So then we called him Doug.

SPEAKER_04 2:32

Yeah, so they're our biggest fans, but they didn't know my name. They knew your name. It was kind of funny.

SPEAKER_02 2:38

It was extremely funny. So shout out to whoever that was on the blitz crews. Thank you for that laugh.

SPEAKER_04 2:43

It made me laugh.

SPEAKER_02 2:44

Yeah. So now it's Doug and Wacy.

SPEAKER_04 2:46

Yeah. Wacey. Uh okay. Moving on. Uh all right. You got this week's question.

SPEAKER_01 2:54

I do. You ready?

SPEAKER_04 2:55

Let's hear it.

SPEAKER_01 2:56

Hi, Dan. Hi, Lacey. This is Lauren calling in from Massachusetts. I have been holding my Tuesday talk question for quite some time. Just needed to work up a little bit of courage. Longtime listener. You guys actually got me through my chemical treatments. I started listening to your podcast and had like a lot of them to kind of catch up on. And it was a great way to kind of push me through and give me something to look forward to. So thank you. My question for you is this I live in the Northeast and it's the you know New England area. You would think live free or die. But the life dial community here is a little difficult or has been difficult for me and my husband to break into. It seems like there's a very neat smaller group that kind of controls everything, um, specifically like one or two people that control like the majority of the Facebook Facebook groups or the events. And they just happen to not be people that we automatically deal with really well. So my question to you is how do you find your community in an area that doesn't have a lot of different ones? We would love to be able to travel at some point to come to your events. You know, secrets is on my um my want list to celebrate my three years cancer-free. All of that is great. But for something to happen more often than not, obviously it would have to be local. And we're just really struggling in the New England area. Any advice would be amazing.

SPEAKER_02 4:22

Love you guys. Happy Tuesday talks. Great question. And congratulations to be three years cancer free.

SPEAKER_04 4:29

That's a huge that actually hit me in my hits me in my feelings a little bit, doesn't it?

SPEAKER_02 4:33

Yeah, yeah, it does. Me too. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 4:35

It's crazy to think about, and this is you know, we're getting off track here, but it's crazy to think about somebody getting chemo treatments and sitting in a hospital bed and and listening to our voices.

SPEAKER_02 4:47

I know, and us yap and me bitch about stuff.

SPEAKER_04 4:50

Like that's and then to accredit that to helping them get like it it just doesn't that doesn't seem no, and maybe that's why like it just seems like almost like out of left field.

SPEAKER_02 5:04

Like why I listen to uh crazy antics.

SPEAKER_04 5:06

No, yeah, that caught me in my feelings a little bit. And then, you know, congratulations on her three year cancer free.

SPEAKER_02 5:12

For sure.

SPEAKER_04 5:13

Uh Lauren from Massachusetts. If you want to come to Secrets to celebrate that, email us at theswing nation at gmail.com. We'll give you a room.

SPEAKER_02 5:22

Oh that's really nice. There's like there's like five rooms left. So she just got very lucky. So email. I have her number, so I'll why don't I just text her text her. Text her and then because otherwise every Lauren that's a swinger out there.

SPEAKER_04 5:34

Valid point. All right. So don't don't don't email us. Nobody email us saying you're Lauren. No, we'll text Lauren. Yeah. Make sure she gets a room at our next secrets or whatever secret she wants to come to.

SPEAKER_02 5:45

That's really nice, baby.

SPEAKER_04 5:46

Uh yeah, I mean, I think it's, you know, and we're probably gonna get a flood of people now that have cancer that want to, so maybe I fucked up. But um I'm gonna do it this one time. Um, but anyway, yeah, way off track. So what Lauren's question is, she's from it's funny, she said she was from Massachusetts, and she said she was from New England, but she she said she was from Massachusetts. So we know where you're from. Uh and I'm actually from a very similar area. That's that's where I was actually born in Massachusetts. I'll share that. And I I used to have a lot of family in Massachusetts. Most of them are either um past or moved on at this point. Uh, but I'm very familiar with that area. Not so much lifestyle in that area, but we do have a good amount of friends that actually still live up in that area, and they actually travel to come to Swinger Society events because of kind of this issue that Lauren's talking about. She's saying, you know, there's a few groups in the area, they all seem to be run by the same people, and for whatever reason, we don't connect with those people, which is totally fine, which is totally fine. Not saying in they might be great wonderful groups, and you know, she's not really downplaying them.

SPEAKER_02 6:47

It could just be a different type of music. I mean, it could be somebody as simple as that, or something like that.

SPEAKER_04 6:51

It could be a bunch of things. So her question is what do we do?

SPEAKER_02 6:55

Um, you start your own group, babe.

SPEAKER_04 6:57

Yeah, I really think you have one of two options, right? You you either travel, yeah, and it sounds from what she said that that's difficult for her. So your other option is you need to start your own group or you need to get together with some of your friends, whoever your the PTA president is of your friend group, they need to start a group, right? Like whoever, there's always a person that is good at being organized.

SPEAKER_02 7:18

And that's how all of these groups came to be. Like every lifestyle person that we have interviewed on this podcast and or talked to in person, nobody set out to like, oh, I'm gonna have a lifestyle party and it's gonna make all this money. That was never anybody's intention. It was more so our people need a place to go.

SPEAKER_03 7:37

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 7:37

So I no one's gonna do it. Why not me? And so that's how I mean think some of these major lifestyle brands, that's how they started. They started in bars like on a Tuesday night, and then when they sold, they sold out of that, and then they had to get a bigger space, and then they kept, you know, and it just kept getting bigger and kept getting bigger. And and if you're not happy with the scene in your area, you just might need to do something similar, which listen, I get it. It's it's an especially with you having health issues, it's probably not ideal. But I think Dan's right, you're either going to have to encourage friends, or maybe it could be as simple as hosting a house party at your house once a month, send your kids to the grandparents once a month, and you have three or four couples. It could be as simple as that, or as big as like, I'm gonna host a meet and greet wherever, you know. So I, you know, you can make it as big or small as you want to. I mean, the only other option you have is to travel. And uh, unfortunately, that's what a lot of people do. I mean, for instance, we where we live, we've we've never been to an actual swinger party in our town. We meet and greets. We went to two meet and greets. They weren't like any kind of play on prem. Like we travel for everything that we do. Our closest club is two hours, the next closest club is three and a half. So it's not uncommon for people to to have to travel. So I think you're just gonna have to like, it's gonna have to be one or the other.

SPEAKER_04 9:05

No, I no, I 100% agree. And I think really in this community, you know, looking at this from a larger picture, I really think this community is growing. I think it's growing at a rapid play uh pace. I think since COVID, we've really, you know, us personally have seen an explosion in uh the lifestyle. Um, I keep a pretty close finger finger on you know the lifestyle and what's going on. Uh, and from what I see, you you're seeing more and more news articles, you're seeing it more and more in the media, you're seeing it portrayed more and more like on TV shows and things like that. And not just swinging, but some type of you know non-monogamy, you know, some whether it's polyamory or or some other form, I think it's becoming more and more mainstream. So as that happens, there's going to be more and more demand for people to have community, to gather, to have parties, to have events and things like that, right? And as people that host events, I'll be the first one to tell you it's not as glamorous as you think, right? There's not a bunch of money to be made. You're not gonna get rich quick overnight by throwing swinger parties. Um, you're gonna put in a lot of work.

SPEAKER_02 10:17

And have less sex.

SPEAKER_04 10:18

You're gonna have less sex at your own parties. Um, people are gonna complain about the prices, about the location, about the music, about the food. Uh, you name it, some of those people will probably even be your friends, right? Yeah, uh, and and you're gonna do a lot of work for very little reward. But but the true reward in that is growing that community of people, right? Um, you know, when we throw parties at secrets and hotel takeovers and stuff, I'm exhausted at the end of the week. But those times that you do get to pause and stop and look at the crowd and people dancing and people having fun, and you know, I don't know how many moments have me and you had where we looked at each other and been like, wow.

SPEAKER_02 11:02

Quite a few over the years. We did this.

SPEAKER_04 11:03

Like we holy crap, like congratulations, you know what I mean? And and so I think, you know, people that throw parties get a lot of, you know, people dig on them, right? There's oh, they're trying to get money, they're trying to make get rich off the lifestyle, this, that. Um, I would encourage you to go talk to some people that are actually throwing parties uh and and see if that's true. I think in most cases you're gonna see that it's not. Um, but if you know, I think more to follow on this. There there is a we are connected with a couple big brands and stuff, and there is a need to put more parties and events out there. I think here, you know, maybe this year, maybe yeah, probably this year, we'll look at, you know, if you are somebody that's wanting to do this kind of stuff, there might be, you know, maybe we could put together a guidebook or give you some best practices or or you know that's news to me. How to get groups on websites and things like that, how to start your newsletters, how to, you know, some of that kind of stuff. So we we've been well by we, I mean me, me, me and some of our business partners have been there's been a lot of talks about um helping the need for that. And why I don't think there is more of that is because it's not an easy thing to do, right? Finding venues that want to host swinger parties is not easy. Some of the contracts and in in um you know insurance and things like that, it's not easy. Um, but start small, right? You don't need all that just to meet up at a local bar. Yeah. Right? You don't need that all that to meet up at a local bar just have a house party. All stay in a hotel that's next door, right? You don't need all that necessarily to have a house party, although there could be some liability there. Um, but you know, it's a lot to think about. But I would encourage you if you are in an area and you see that there's a need for community, you see that there's people around you, that you have a group of friends, there's just not the place, a safe place to get together uh and have community. I would encourage you um to start that process and to and to put yourself out there and and do that. And uh we'll we'll work on ways to help you do that, I think. I think I'll make you that promise. I'm working on it. I'm already working on it. Nothing's been formalized. I'll work harder on it. Um and stay tuned. You know, follow us, follow the podcast, follow us on social media, um, subscribe to our email list. Uh, there'll be more to follow on some of that stuff as we get more of a definition on what that's gonna look like.

SPEAKER_02 13:22

Well, that's awesome.

SPEAKER_04 13:22

It's awesome, right?

SPEAKER_02 13:23

And Lauren's gonna come to Secrets with us.

SPEAKER_04 13:25

And Lauren, Lacey's gonna text you after we get done recording our podcast. We'll reach out. You got a room to our next Secrets. Um, there's only like eight left, last I knew, or five or six. I don't know. There's not very many. Yeah. So if you're hearing this Tuesday talk and you want to come party with us and Lauren at uh Secrets Hideaway in September, uh, go to swimmercies.net, book that now. We got all kinds of events. We're going to Naughty in New Orleans. We got uh Electric Pleasures in Chattanooga. Uh, we got Secrets is on sale. Uh, we're getting ready to go to Salt Lake.

SPEAKER_03 13:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 13:57

Uh yeah, the when you hear when you'll hear this, we'll be like on the road driving to Salt Lake City. We will. Um, for our sanctuary takeover. So again, go to uh swingersighty.net and get all the information on all the upcoming parties and events. We have safe places for you to gather. We want you to come do that with us.

SPEAKER_02 14:15

Correct.

SPEAKER_04 14:15

All right. Uh anything else for Lauren? No. For her events? Uh hope to see you at Secrets soon, Lauren. Okay. Uh, if you have a Tuesday talk question, we would love to hear from you. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 14:26

Right?

SPEAKER_04 14:26

A few days you can get a hold of us. You can email us at theswingnation at gmail.com. Yeah. Right? You can email us your question. You can send us an audio file with your question. You can send us a video file with your question. We'll put your video up here on the TV. We've yet to have somebody to do that. Somebody's going to be the first one.

SPEAKER_02 14:43

And you even fixed it.

SPEAKER_04 14:44

I even fixed the TV so it's working now. Yeah. So uh somebody's going to be the first one to do that. Uh, or if you want, you can call like Lauren did or text, and that phone number is 972-302-7716. One more time.

SPEAKER_02 15:00

972-302-7716.

SPEAKER_04 15:04

Okay. Well, I think that's it. Anything else for the Swing Nation listeners, Lacey?

SPEAKER_02 15:07

That's yeah.

SPEAKER_04 15:08

Wacey.

SPEAKER_02 15:09

Okay, Doug.

SPEAKER_04 15:10

Okay, Wacey.

SPEAKER_02 15:11

Okay, Doug.

SPEAKER_04 15:12

All right. Well, I think with that, in a world full of apples.

SPEAKER_02 15:16

Be the pineapple.

SPEAKER_04 15:16

Be the pineapple, guys.

SPEAKER_02 15:18

Bye.

SPEAKER_04 15:18

Bye. If you've enjoyed our podcast and want to support us, leave a five-star review wherever you're listening. If you want to see more of our content, you can find links to Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, OnlyFans, and more in the show notes. Come join the conversation with us and other Twinger content creators on our Twinger Society Discord server. If you have questions or feedback, email them to us at thustwination at gmail.com. Make sure you head on over to thustwination.net and keep up to date on all things TwingNation. We thank you so much for joining us and we'll see you next time. Goodbye.