The Swing Nation - A Sex Positive Swingers Podcast

Too Much of a Good Thing? Avoiding Lifestyle Burnout

• Season 1 • Episode 251

Share episode

Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.

0:00 | 1:00:19

Send us Fan Mail

Too Much of a Good Thing? Avoiding Lifestyle Burnout | Episode 251

In this full episode of The Swing Nation Podcast, Dan and Lacy get real about something that can happen to anyone in the lifestyle: burnout. Between traveling, attending events, socializing, keeping up with messages, and trying to make the most of every opportunity, the lifestyle can sometimes start to feel more like an obligation than an escape.

Dan and Lacy share their own experiences with feeling burned out this year, including how overcommitting to events and constantly being “on” can take a toll. They also talk about why other couples may be hitting that same wall, from pressure to play, packed social calendars, comparison, dating-app fatigue, and feeling like they have to say yes to every invitation.

Most importantly, they offer practical advice for recognizing burnout early, communicating with your partner, setting boundaries, taking a break without guilt, and finding your way back to enjoying the lifestyle on your own terms.



Get Tickets to Electric Pleasures

- The Swing Nation -

 Main Website

 Quick Navigation Website: -- (Find all our social media links & more!)

- Swinger Society -

 Our Website to meet, connect & events

 Swinger Society Discord

 Our Facebook Group

- Swinger Websites -

Kasadie 90 day free trial
Username: TheSwingNation

 SDC 14 day free trial 
Username: TheSwingNation
** Use code 36313 for 14 days free! **

 SLS
Username: NorthernGuynSouthernGirl

- Merch & More -
Order Your Merch Here!

- Lacy’s Fun Links -
VIP OnlyFans
PREMIUM OnlyFans

-- THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS --

Wisp : Making sexual healthcare inclusive, cost-effective, and accessible—for everyone
Use Code SWING at checkout for 15% off your oder!

Shameless Care: ED Medication and at home STD testing
Use Code TSN at checkout for $30 off your order!

Promescent® Make Love Longer, It’s Time for Great Sex
Use Code SwingNation for 5% off!

Support the show

- Thank you for the support! -

SPEAKER_01

This podcast is intended for adult audiences. Over the age of 18. It contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice.

SPEAKER_02

Welcome to the Swing Nation Podcast, a podcast by swingers for swingers, where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle. Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe. Interview the extraverts. Learn and grow together. Join the nation. Hey there, pineapple people, and welcome to the Swing Nation Podcast. We are your host, Northern Guy.

SPEAKER_01

And Southern Girl.

SPEAKER_02

And we are back with another full-length episode of the Swing Nation Podcast. In today's subject, we're going to be talking about something uh relevant, something near and dear to our heart, something we've been having long conversations into the night about. And that is lifestyle burnout.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

So Lacey, when I say to you lifestyle burnout, what does that mean?

SPEAKER_01

Um just too much. Too much. I think our burnout is probably different than your typical person. So I think that's important to notate as we do this. Um but yeah, I think just doing too much. I think there should be a balance, you know. Like I'm trying to think of how to say it. Like I think there should be a balance between like your vanilla life and your like lifestyle swinging life. And I think sometimes, you know, the lifestyle can take up more and then other times of vanilla. So just like finding that right balance between the two. And and I think every couple is going to be different. Some couples can go every single weekend and and that's fine. And some, you know, one thing a month is too much. So I I think everyone has to find what their balance is.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I think something you touched on there too is uh you're talking about how maybe we're a little different than your typical lifestyle couple. I think all lifestyle couples can and maybe at some point will experience burnout within the lifestyle. Um I think if you talk about um, you know, couples that are just doing this recreationally for their own, you know, in their in their own relationship, and then you talk about couples that are hosts or hosting events or in the industry and throwing parties, uh, I think those are two different maybe levels of burnout. But I in the end, I think a lot of the causes and reasons and you know ways to maybe maybe deal with it are are somewhat similar.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, so I think I think it's just an extreme version when this is your job and your career. But yeah, I think they're it's the same, just a different version of it.

SPEAKER_02

So we're gonna talk about I think a little bit of all of that. Okay, a little bit of all that today. So um, so this is you know what I have in my notes as far as lifestyle burnout. It says what happens when the lifestyle stops feeling exciting and starts feeling exhausting.

SPEAKER_01

I think we're in the trenches for that. So that's why Dan said it's relevant to our lives because we like Dan said, we are kind of in those trenches. We've been going nonstop for four plus years now, and we're in like the height of our busy season, and we are just kind of like burnt out for lack of a better word. And I think normal couples that you know, this is not your job. Like, I can see how you could also be because like the summer is when everything happens, right? The summer was when all the good parties are, it's also when our kids are out of school. So we have like less structured route home. We probably like it's harder to get babysitters. I mean, I just think there's just like a lot going on in the summer. So I think this is just like a season of a lot.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, no, I agree. Uh, and also in my notes here, I have it, you know, lifestyle burnout is not because you hate the lifestyle, right? It's not because your relationship is is broken, it's because the constant planning, flirting, events, apps, group checks, expectations, comparison, and emotional processing starts weighing you down. And I think for us, it's even more than that, right? It's not even the it's not just the going to the events and picking out outfits and travel and money and cost and all that. You know, for us, it's the the planning and the you know, going there three days early and the setup and the teardown and the you know, it's all of that on top of the yeah, um and we also put like our heart and soul into it, and then a lot of times it gets picked apart, you know.

SPEAKER_01

So, like, and the the negative always stands out more than the positive, which is unfortunate. But so I think that takes a toll on you too, because you pull your heart and soul into something, and then at the end, there's something wrong. You know, there's all it feels like there's always something wrong.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. So uh, in here it says, you know, lifestyle burnout is real. A lot of people end up and uh enter the lifestyle chasing freedom, fun, connection, and an adventure. And I I think that's why we all join it, right? And those it feels good, and in a lot of ways, that's almost like a a dopamine hit, right? It's almost kind of a drug, right? You go to these parties and people start hitting on you, and you feel sexy, you have this amazing sex, and you know, you and your partner are connected in ways that you've never felt before, and you're like, what would you know? You go home and you're like almost like like on a high? On a high and almost in shock, and you're like, what was that? I need more of that in my life.

SPEAKER_01

And then you're chasing it, and then yeah, and then and some some events hit that, like you said, and some maybe fall short, you know.

SPEAKER_02

So then when it falls short, you're like, What did I do wrong? Why didn't I oh why didn't I hit on that couple? Or why, you know, why did I just go back to the my room alone with our with each other? Why didn't we pursue somebody? Why didn't we, you know, you kind of like start, you know, were they not into me? Am I not pretty enough? You know, you start doing all that stuff. Um it goes on to say, but over time, couples hit a point where it feels like they have to always be on. And I know you can relate to that. Very much always have to look good. You always have to be social, you always need to be flirting. Uh, you should you need to keep up on your messages and the apps and the group chats. Um, you're constantly managing your feelings, your partner's feelings, but then uh everybody else's feelings as well, right? You don't want to disappoint anybody if you get invited to an event or invited to a a party or you know to go stay in an Airbnb, you're constantly like, oh well, if I say no to that, like are they gonna think I don't like them?

SPEAKER_01

And you know, that's all that sounds exhausting. Like, and I think in the beginning when you join the lapso, you're chasing that and it's so fun, you know, and you're like on this huge high. And at some point during the journey, I think it it switches or or maybe points. It can, you know, I think you get get it back. I think you this happens, you know, where it becomes more of like a job, not maybe not job, more of like a chore, more like work. I don't mean work as in like like actual, I mean like you have to make sure you respond to it. Well, for us, it can become too like people that maybe don't own a lifestyle business. Like, if you have to make sure you respond to all your friends, or people are gonna get upset, or you have to make sure that you know, all these things that it can that can become like a job. That's what I mean.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I think you know, everybody needs to stop and take a step back at some point in this journey that that is the lifestyle, and say, you know, what why are we doing this? Like what is the point of this, right? And and it's supposed to be this is something fun that's for you and your partner to explore your fantasies, right? And to have these amazing experiences, to explore your fantasies, and it's supposed to bring you and your partner closer, right? And that that's what I mean. And the lifestyle does that, like it it genuinely, I don't want to give anybody the wrong impression. That's what it will do for you, that's what it can do for you.

SPEAKER_01

But it's very easy to lose sight of that.

SPEAKER_02

But you can get too carried away and it and you can take it too far. And at some point, maybe what you know we're talking about here, the constantly bow, you know, balancing, constantly trying to make everybody happy, constantly trying to be the prettiest and have the best outfits and go to all the coolest events, you know, and it kind of becomes this like keeping up with the Kardashians, right? Like, oh, well, they're going to that party. If we don't go to that party, you know, we're gonna miss out, or you know, they're which is something that I personally struggle with.

SPEAKER_01

I have major FOMO. Dan's much better at this, so like advice, you need one that can probably handle this better. Like, if all of our friends are somewhere, I have a very hard time not being like, let's just go, you know, like if they're if all of our friends are going, I want to be there too. And I have major FOMO about it. So I I struggle with that a lot.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, and I think that's human nature. I think humans do that with everything, right? It doesn't matter what your hobby, for lack of a better word, is, right? But I can think about when I was in the military, you know, if my buddy, if I got a motorcycle, my buddy's got a better motorcycle. You know what I mean? Or boats, right? Yeah, boats, or whatever the thing is. We're always kind of trying to keep up with our friends or one up our friends, or you know, we can even do it with our kids with the do it with houses, you do it with kids, you do it with just about everything. And I think that's something about human nature that we're just competitive creatures. Yeah. I I know at least I am, and I know that you are. Uh, I think I don't think everybody's like that, but I know a lot of us are like that. And I think we we tend to do this with everything, and it seems like we do this with the lifestyle, right? It's like, oh, well, they're going to that party, I gotta go to that party, or oh, if they're going to HETO, I'm gonna go to Heto and Secrets, you know, like and it's not even like I don't think I like we're doing it to mean to like one up somebody.

SPEAKER_01

I think I just genuinely want to be there because my friends are there, you know. Like I don't want to feel left out. It's not like I want to one up anybody, I just want to be a part of it, you know. And like we all know when you're at home and you're like being lazy on the couch and all your friends are out and they're texting you or Snapchatting you and they like showing you their outfits and they all look cute, like that, like you know, fear of missing out is is huge, you know. Like you want to be there. So, like for me, it's more that it's not so much like I want to go to more things than other people, it's just I want to be where my people are.

SPEAKER_02

No, I think that's a hundred percent it. Yeah, and I don't think maybe one-upping each other isn't the way of doing that. And I don't think even when you buy a new boat, I don't, you know, like I've done that before, right? My friends have had something nice. I'm like, oh, I really like your boat, and I go out and buy one, and maybe it's a little better than the one they had. I'm not like purposely trying to one-up them. I'm just want to be, I want to be on the lake on the weekends with my friends, and I just picked out the nicest boat that I could afford at the time, you know what I mean? Uh, and I think that's kind of what we end up doing here in a in a similar fashion, is just we we just kind of get caught up in the you know, in the rat race, so to speak, and uh it becomes becomes part of it. Same with outfits, right? Like you are a huge outfit girl and you need to have the best outfit.

SPEAKER_01

Well, it's not even the best, like I don't really care if it's from Sheen or wherever. I just I like having unique things that other people don't have. You know, I like to me, it's like I put a lot of time and effort and it's fun. Like I genuinely enjoy that. And so it's not necessarily like the monetary value. I mean, yes, some nicer things do cost more, but I just like having like a fun, cool outfit. And it doesn't matter if I hand make it at home or if I buy it and somebody else makes it, I just like having that. And that's like for me a lot of fun, and I get a lot of joy out of that. So I that's definitely not like having the best.

SPEAKER_02

No, I I see what you're saying. No, a hundred percent. And I I think um, so let's talk a little bit, you know, moving on. What does burnout look like? So, how do you know when you've hit this point? What kind of feelings do you start having?

SPEAKER_01

Well, for us, we y'all don't know this, but we were supposed to go to ICandy the first of June. Uh-ish. We canceled literally the day we were supposed to get on a flight. Um, we knew we were burned out. We looked at it, like we we were going for fun. I mean, a little work, but mainly fun. And we were exhausted and and and worn out, and we looked at each other and we're like, oh, we just can't physically like go, you know. Like, could we have made ourselves? Yes. Have we ever backed out of anything? No. That's the first like real thing that I think we've actually like backed out of ever. And it was kind of a big deal for us to do that. And I think we both like looked at each other and knew it was like I think when your parents got sick, we had to cancel a splash one time.

SPEAKER_02

But yeah, I mean, not very often.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah, but that that was because almost never just for us. That was because we had a reason. We had zero reason for this to cancel. We other than we we were just burned out, you know. I think like just looking at each other, we are we are currently in a burnout season. And why I think this podcast is relevant to us right now, we have been going nonstop for years and we're just exhausted. I think when you are losing the excitement, you know, like usually if you have a lifestyle event coming up, you're so excited. You're planning your outfits, you're you're texting with your friends, it's like a whole thing. And I think when you start seeing that not be fun anymore, I definitely think that's a sign of burnout.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. So some signs I got here is not wanting to answer messages, right? So if you have group chats and stuff, and man, I can relate to this, right? You see these group chats and everybody's so excited about this event, you're right, and they're planning all these things, and and you're almost like don't even want to participate in the conversation about the event, right? Um, dreading another event, even though you've already committed to it, right? If you've ever been like, if you ever look at an event that's coming up and you're not excited, you're actually like dreading having to like get all your stuff together and pack and travel and all that. That's not a good sign.

SPEAKER_01

I've been that way for a while.

SPEAKER_02

These are things you should be looking forward to, right?

SPEAKER_01

With that said, I feel that way quite often, but once I get there, I have a great time. It's kind of like I know if I just go, I'm gonna have a great time, but it's really hard to like leave my bed and my house and my dogs and stuff. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Uh feeling tired before you even get out of bed and get dressed.

unknown

Right?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, have you ever felt that way? Yeah, uh, comparing yourself to others um more. Yeah. You can you see that? If you can start getting tired, you start getting worn down. I can see that. Like you're kind of like, what am I even doing? Why am I even trying to do this? Like, I'm not, you know, this is not who I am. I can't compete with these other people.

SPEAKER_01

Like, but it's not a competition, so it shouldn't be.

SPEAKER_02

But you know what I'm saying? When you start feeling down about things, you start like having more and more self-doubt, I think.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I guess, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Um, having less patience with your partner or your friends.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Right. You start getting worn out. I mean, that's I know when I'm tired, I am grumpy, right?

SPEAKER_01

And like imagine us on our way home from every event, we're exhausted and just trying to get home and trying not to bite each other's heads off. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Um going along with other people's plans because you feel obligated. Uh, have you ever done? I think we've done that some of that.

SPEAKER_01

Well, I think because we are promoting, so this is where it's a little different for us than probably your average, because when we say publicly that we're going and we're promoting it and it's something that we are bought into, even if we're not throwing it, you know, it's it's hard, we can't really back out of that. You know, it's could we, yes, but for the most part, we really try to if we if we've committed to something, we try to stick with it.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, yeah, especially if it's an R event. You know, if you look at like a R event, that's different. Yeah, you look at like Electric Pleasures or Swinger Society. I mean, there there's usually five or six figures invested into one of those events. There's there's no backing out. Like there, you know, I mean, I guess maybe in the in the state of uh if there's a hurricane that hits Florida or something, it it could be possible, but even that would be terrible, you know what I mean? So uh there's a lot of planning and time and commitment and money that goes into throwing these events, and honestly, not a lot of profit, right? Uh so we are committed a hundred percent to our events. Uh and then you look at other events. Well, if we are promoting a splash or if we're promoting Naughty New Orleans or a Bliss Cruise, you know, if we we have good relationships with the owners of these companies, right? They're they're personal, most of them are personal friends of ours. If we've told them, hey, we're gonna be there, we're gonna promote, we're gonna show up, you can't just back out of that. You know what I mean? Like you could, but you have a reputation.

SPEAKER_01

We we we have a reputation, you know, and we have to uphold that standard, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02

So it's it's hard to be like, oh man, we're just tired, we're not gonna come this weekend. You you almost can't do that. Yeah, um, and I think we're maybe a little guilty of, you know, we plan a lot of these things up to a year out, and then we keep adding things as the year goes on. And like you said, the FOMO, the oh, this person reached out and they want us to come to this party, and oh, they're friends of friends, or maybe they're close friends, you know, and it's like, well, we we gotta support our friends, we gotta, you know, we're part of this community, we wanna uplift everybody, we're gonna be there, right? Yeah, and sometimes you think, oh, yeah, we'll we'll be there, and then you don't realize, or maybe you don't even think about it too much. Oh, we have an electric pleasures event the weekend before that. Yeah. Not really thinking about, oh, we're gonna have three days of of of prep before that event, we're gonna have three days of teardown and getting organized after that event, which means basically you're gonna have no downtime before then rolling into the next event. You know, you don't necessarily think of all that stuff, you just think of, oh, that's a whole week away from this other event. We'll have time in the middle there to kind of relax and get our shit back together. Um, so it's easy, I think, to overcommit yourself to those kind of things.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Well, and I think this sounds pretty Debbie Downer. Like we're our podcasts are usually like upbeat and positive. And I I don't want you to take this as like we're quitting or we don't want to do anything or anything like that. We are just going through a little bit of a season where things are just a little bit rough, maybe for lack of a better word. Um, but we're not naive to know that everybody doesn't experience this on some level. Maybe ours is a little higher than and then obviously we have financial you know reasons to continue or not, you know. So I just I feel bad because I feel like this is like a total Debbie Downer podcast.

SPEAKER_02

Well, no, I think it's real. I think, I mean, I I think we are at a different level with this than probably most people are, because most people aren't throwing their own events and stuff. Although we have several friends that are, you know, we have people that we know that are within the industry, and I think they've all had this. I think anybody in the industry that's throwing parties has had this conversation at some point in time that like, what are we doing? Is all of this worth it, right? Or like have we.

SPEAKER_01

You could be hosting like a house party and just having a couple of your friends over, and then you could be like, Why are we doing this? So I think it it most anybody can have this conversation regardless of where you are on the spectrum of a lifestyle.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, and it says here so burnout is when the lifestyle starts taking more energy than it gives back to you. And I that's a good I think that's a good metric to measure it by. And honestly, even like hearing that now and thinking about that, I don't feel like it's taking more than it's giving. Like it's taking a lot, right? We're putting a lot into these events, we're putting a lot into um everything that we're doing. And I I a hundred percent think we are experiencing several, some level of burnout. Um but if I really think about it and I think about you know, those moments that we talked about last week on the podcast, so it electric pleasures, if I think about all the moments me and you you have had on the dance floor in the middle of the night, when we look around and see all of these people smiling and laughing and hugging and you know, doing all the other things, um, I feel like my cup is still overflowing.

SPEAKER_01

Really?

SPEAKER_02

And it's not necessarily empty.

SPEAKER_01

I disagree.

SPEAKER_02

You disagree? You feel like your cup is at least lowering, not not filling?

SPEAKER_01

I think, and this is just like gonna be a personal tangent, so this probably doesn't apply to most people, but I feel like since like we went viral and because we were just regular swingers, like most everybody, and since we went viral and we leaned into this, it has afforded us a wonderful life. So I definitely want to say that first. I'm very grateful for the life that we've we've worked for and that we've you know been given and all of those things. So I don't want to not credit that, but also I feel like the lifestyle has kind of chewed us up and spit us out quite a few times. Uh like it from back when we, you know, when Christina, that crazy girl, you know, came after us to, you know, just years of people not liking us, life of spice, uh, you know, that situation. We've had business partners falling out with business partners. We've had just like a lot of things and not all public, you know, we've some of them have we've kept close to our chest, but I just feel like yes, I enjoy the lifestyle, and I I'm I think I'm a truly non-monogamous person, but I do feel like we have kind of given our heart and soul to the lifestyle over the last you know four or five years, and I feel like it we haven't always gotten our fair share back.

SPEAKER_02

No, I can I can relate to that. I mean, I think there is some level of truth to that, and I think it's you know, you said like back when we went viral, and then I almost feel like that happened and it started this snowball rolling down a hill, and the bigger that snowball got, the harder it is to to stop, you know what I mean? And and not only the harder it is to stop, you don't want to stop it. You get caught up in the in all these moments, right? And you and you in and I I still don't know, you know, we're saying all this, I don't know what all this means. Me and you are still processing this.

SPEAKER_01

We're not quitting, so yeah.

SPEAKER_02

So yeah, if you're listening to this podcast, you're like, Dan and Lacey are about to quit the fucking lifestyle, they're gonna quit their podcast, they're gonna quit throwing events. None of that is true, right? So don't, don't, don't get crazy.

SPEAKER_01

No, are we reevaluating what we are doing? A hundred percent yes. Yes. Are we doing way too much? A hundred percent yes. Like, for example, in July, we have two major events, and then a friend of ours is opening something that we probably should go, but we are like, can we go? We you know, like realistically, we shouldn't go. So like that's just kind of an example of where we are.

SPEAKER_02

And still balancing our own personal lives, right? And still balancing family and still and still, you know, your mom, you know, still lives with us and still is, you know, battle and she is cancer free at the moment, but still is yeah, you know, actively in that fight. So I mean, there's so much going on. And just so, you know, to give people an idea, we're committed to something like 18 events this calendar year. Um, and that's just lifestyle events. That's not even counting like content houses. That's not counting Christmases or birthdays or weddings, you know. That's just 18 lifestyle events. Uh, and a lot of you know, several of those are multi-day or you know, a week or a weekend or four or five days.

SPEAKER_01

Um all of which we love. So, like I feel like this is like we're off on a soapbox. All of which we love, but we definitely are going to have to make some adjustments and and choose our I think it's what you said.

SPEAKER_02

We've been doing this now, you know, this all started in 2020. I think our first event was 2021. So now we're in 2026. So this has been five years of this snowball rolling down a hill and constantly growing. And I think now for the first time, you know, we've had some, we've gotten hit with a few unexpected avalanches, I guess, along the way. And it's kind of for the first time, I think we're stake taking a step back and saying, okay, what are we doing?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Out of what we're doing, what is actually really important to us?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

And how can we double down on the stuff that's important to us, cut out some of the stuff that maybe is not as important to us, and make sure that we still have time in our life and our schedules for the other things that are important to us, like our relationship, like our kids, like uh our family.

SPEAKER_01

And I know that if we are feeling this, we're not the only ones, right? So, like if you're listening to this and you're like, well, this doesn't really apply to me, I think it kind of does because I think even without being Dan and Lacey, the podcast, and throwing events, I think your average swingers can also get caught up in this and and experience what we're experiencing on a different level. So that's why today's podcast was relevant because I know if we are feeling this, that other people are also feeling this.

SPEAKER_02

No, 100%. I think now it's a perfect time to take a little break, hear from the partners and sponsors of the Swing Nation podcast, and then maybe on the backside, we'll bring this back around to you guys and not just uh um uh a rant about our lives and talk about maybe what you guys are feeling, yeah, how this applies to you, and maybe some things you can do about it. Okay. All right, guys, we'll be right back. Lacey, people are always asking, how do we get to a party or an event that you guys are hosting? Like, how do we find these things? Where did they exist?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, because we're pretty open about where we're gonna be. So if you want to find these places, you need to check out swingerside.net.

SPEAKER_02

Right. So you can go to swingersight.net, sign up for a profile. Most of our friends, most of the people that are attending our events, all are on there and have profiles. So you can message them, link up with them before a party, get to know some people. Uh, please become a diamond member. Okay. So this is the way that we keep are able to throw events. There, it's a way we're able to have staff. Uh, really, it's the the community that keeps those memberships on swingersciety.net that really keep this whole thing running. Yes. Um, if you're a diamond member, it gets you early access to tickets. Uh so you can get those VIP tickets in the clubs and you know, those preferred rooms at a place like Secrets. Um, our Diamond members usually grab all that up. So if that's something that you're interested in, you definitely want to become a diamond member, or if you just want to support us, support what we're doing, uh, and help us pay our staff, please go sign up and be a diamond member. Yes. It's super helpful for us. Uh, and you can do that by going to swingersociety.net.

SPEAKER_00

Correct.

SPEAKER_02

Uh, and sign up today. Hopefully, you come become part of our community, and we hope to see you at a future event.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Thanks, guys.

SPEAKER_01

Dan, if someone is just recently joining the lifestyle and they don't really know where to begin, what do you recommend?

SPEAKER_02

Well, the lifestyle, you know, it's 2025. And people are on the internet. They are and there just so happens to be lifestyle websites that are dedicated to people connecting in the lifestyle. Yes. SDC happens to be one of our favorites. Over three million users. You can find people in your area, you can find clubs, you can find parties. All of it is right on SDC. Um, and you can get a huge discount by signing up with us.

SPEAKER_01

You can.

SPEAKER_02

So all you got to do is if you're looking for lifestyle people in your area, if you're looking for the clubs, if you're looking for the parties, go to theswing nation.info. Recommended apps and products, scroll down to the STC icon. We'll give you a free trial. Yeah. You can check them out. You can see who's in your area. You can see if it's uh if it's the app for you. Uh all completely risk-free. Yes. So just head on over to theswing nation.info and get signed up for STC today. All right, guys. Welcome back. Welcome back. Thank you for listening to our sponsors. Lacey loves our sponsors.

SPEAKER_01

I do.

SPEAKER_02

Uh, each and every one of them. You got uh one. What which sponsor, if I just said pick a sponsor, which one's the first one that comes out?

SPEAKER_01

Probably Shivers because I just uh we were just at Splash EP or not Splash EP EP uh Chattanooga and I took it for the first time in like six months and had so much fun. Uh so I'm kind of on a a shivers kick right now, yeah. Lately.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, so go check out uh shivers. You can go to theswing nation.info or theswing nation.net. Uh look at uh recommended apps and products or sponsors, and you'll find shivers. Uh it's a great, it's a great little uh it's a great little um um vitamin that you can take to enhance your experiences in the lifestyle. Um we'll just leave it at that.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Okay. So me and Lacey kind of went off on a little rant about some of the burnout that we've been facing and experiencing. Um let's talk a little bit about for non lifestyle industry people, why this kind of thing happens, right? Uh, and I think it's a lot of times it's you're doing too much too fast, or you get caught up in that like dopamine hit, and you want more and more and more and more, and the next thing you know, the lifestyle's taking over your whole life.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, which is funny because we see people that enter the lifestyle and they're brand new, and this is kind of what happens. It's almost like they are like chasing that, and you see them at like every event, you know, for the next, I don't know, however many months, and then all of a sudden you can kind of see where they're like, okay, I gotta take like a little bit of a break. It's like too much.

SPEAKER_02

This happens more often than not, I'd almost say, right? People come to their first party, they have their first full swap. Uh, you know, and once they experience that, they're like, This is amazing. Yeah, why have I not been doing this my whole life? When's the next party? So they're like, when's the next event? Can we go to Heto? Can we go on Bliss Cruise? And they start just booking everything.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

And then, like you said, the next thing you know, you know, they're in love with another couple, and then they've had a falling out with them, and then, you know, their family has found out and they're mad at them, and and then or they're just exhausted.

SPEAKER_01

That's where I was going with it. But but I don't think it has to be that deep. I think you know, you could just be do too much at one time, and then you kind of have to re-evaluate, kind of like what Dan and I are doing right now. Like, reevaluate, okay, like that was fun. We did every single event for six months. How about let's like spend a month or two at home? Let's reevaluate, and then we'll pick our favorites, and then going forward, we'll only do, you know, one thing a month or one thing every other month, or vice versa, you know.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I mean, we've seen we've I think we've seen both. So we have seen the people getting carried away with events and just doing too much and you know, not having a good um lifestyle, vanilla lifestyle balance. But we've also seen the couples that go from new to the lifestyle to full-blown poly all in a matter of six months, too. We have seen that, yeah. And so I think I think you can get caught up in all of those things. And I and I think it is pacing yourself, right? And not getting caught up in the moment and trying to step back and be objective about okay, what are we, what do we want from this, right? What is a reasonable balance of this and our normal lives? Um, you know, what are our goals from engaging with other couples? Are do we really even want, you know, I feel like some people get caught up in being in a you know, poly-ish relationship just because they they they have sex with somebody, they really like them, and they kind of feel like like it just happens and they don't even realize they're doing it until it's like they're already doing it.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

So I think, you know, having those conversations on the front end and kind of okay, if we're gonna go into this lifestyle, what do we want? Or if you're already in the lifestyle, hey, do do we, you know, me and Lacey have had we don't want to be poly, right? And we've listened we have we are we love some of our friends, right? We we genuinely love and care about from from our friends. I think everybody on the podcast knows we love Daddy Mike and Daphne, right? Everybody knows that, right? We do, but we're not gonna move in with them, no, we're not gonna pay bills with them, we're not gonna buy a house with them because we know we're me and her were talking about buying a compound the other day. Oh, see, see this is how it happens, right?

SPEAKER_01

You get caught up in the realistically, we're not gonna buy a compound. But doesn't that sound fun? Okay, but yes, you're right. No, we do not want to like live together and pay bills together and all that stuff. Yeah, so we so like Dan and I, I think every couple we need to come together every few weeks, months, however, you know, just kind of depending, sort of like do a vibe check of where we are and make sure our goals and everything still align.

SPEAKER_02

Right. And I think what's important here is just because you have the opportunity to go to an event, or just because maybe you could um spend more time with another couple, doesn't mean that you have to, right? Or it doesn't mean that necessarily that's the best thing for you to do. And I think sometimes just taking that pause and having that open, honest conversation with your partner can stop that snowball effect that you don't even realize you're caught up in.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah, no, I agree.

SPEAKER_02

Uh, and I think that's where we're at, right? And maybe for the first time really in the last four or five years, we've really our snowball just happened to hit a rock as it was rolling down the fucking mountain and it stopped, and we've been like, wait a minute, what the fuck are we doing? You know what I mean? Like, why are we doing all this? What is life? Do we have to do all this? Like, you know, some of this stuff we're spending a lot of time and energy in, and there's we're in, you know, you could say, well, we're doing it for the money, but there isn't we're not making any money, we're spending money. So, like, why are we doing it? You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Uh, and those are hard conversations. And I don't know, we've we've had a lot of those conversations, and we're continuing to have those conversations between us and our business partners and and people that we care about and are close to us. Um, and sometimes you, you know, those conversations don't align, right? Maybe what we want isn't what necessarily our business partners want to do, right?

SPEAKER_01

Or vice versa, being you, you know, like what we might not be on the same page. I like, for instance, like to go to more events, I'm always the one, like, we should go, we should do this. And a lot of times you're like, you just kind of let me be the lead. If I want to do it, you sort of let me well.

SPEAKER_02

The funny thing about you is you are both in this case, right? You are the one that pushes to go to the event, and then you are also the first one to be like, Why are we doing so much?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Simultaneously, which is very, very confusing to me because I'm like, You're mad at me because we're doing too much, but you plan, you put this on the calendar. Like you did that, not me.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

So you can't be mad at me for what we're doing too much if you're the one putting it.

SPEAKER_01

So learn from us and like find a way to work through that and like I don't know, maybe checks and balances, like find a way to determine if you if it's something you should do or not.

SPEAKER_02

Is there social pressure to keep showing up, to keep going to events, to keep doing more?

SPEAKER_01

I think so.

SPEAKER_02

And then you take somebody like us that's you know, I think we're different situations. Put ourselves as kind of the face of this community in a lot of ways. There's immense pressure, right? Like we gotta be at Naughty in New Orleans, right? We gotta be on the Bliss Cruise, right? Like, that's where everybody is. We gotta be there because we're Dan and Lacey, we're the swing nation podcast, we got the one of the top podcasts in the country.

SPEAKER_01

The truth is the ship will still sell if we're not on that ship. Right, and our our friends will still have fun if we're not there, but we I think we put that pressure on ourselves. I don't think that's like someone else putting that pressure. I think that's like an internal pressure. And I think other people can relate to that too. Like, if you're not there, it will be okay. Like your friends will find new friends, or we'll find, you know, like it will be okay.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. And those are the kind of conversations we've been having. It's like, do we have to go on every single bliss cruise? If we don't go on every single one, can we still sell? Like, can we is as swinger society? Can we still sell a cruise and then just have one, a host couple go in our place? Would that would people be upset at us if if they booked a cruise through us basically and we didn't show up for it? You know, those are the kind of conversations we're having. And I don't know, I don't know if I know all the answers, you know what I mean? Because I would feel bad if a couple booked an event thinking that we were gonna be there and we didn't and we weren't there, right? So I think if we're gonna do that, we need to make it very obvious, like when they booked that hey, yeah, yeah, I know you're booking through Dan and Lacey's affiliate link, but they're not gonna be on this grooves, right? They're gonna be on this one. And I think we could do things to make that obvious and so that nobody felt like we misled them.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. I feel like we're trying to make this about other people, but we keep going back to the code.

SPEAKER_02

Well, no, but I think people have this social pressure. Like where they're doing what we're doing is like, oh, we have to be there. Our friends, they can't they can't go to HETA without us, like they would be so sad and disappointed, right? When in reality, and some of them would they will be sad, yeah. Right. When our friends don't go to events, we are sad, but we also understand that they have to find their balance. And and you know, a lot of our friends, you know, we've had friends text us and call us and been like, and you can tell they're being very, very genuine, and they're like, We're sorry, we just can't, we just can't go to the secrets. And it's like okay, it's okay, guys. Like, it's okay. We get it. This isn't this is our jobs, it's not your job. We get that you have work and yeah, and maybe you got a wedding you gotta go to this year or whatever, and and it's okay. And so I think sometimes, like you said, maybe that's stuff that we put, maybe we think we're more important than we are sometimes, um to the community or to our friend groups. Um that they couldn't.

SPEAKER_01

But I think everybody does that, not just us. No, I I yeah, I think that's like a universal thing.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, yeah, I agree. Um what about couples that are maybe struggling with the the apps and the messaging and the group chats? Can that become too much?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it can. I mean, honestly, Dan and I don't do a lot of that, uh, just because it's it is too much. It is way too much. We know too many people across, you know, the country and and and beyond. So yes, it 100% can be too much. And I think it's okay to to be honest. I I think we've kind of like unintentionally trained a lot of our friends to know that we're if we don't respond, if we don't text you, it doesn't mean that we don't like you. It means we're fucking busy, you know. But like if you message us, we're always gonna respond. We're never gonna like leave you on red, we're always gonna respond. But I think over time our friends have kind of learned that. And we know like that about some of our friends. Like some of our friends, you come to an event, you hang out, you have a great time, and then you're not gonna hear from them until the next event. And to me, that's perfectly okay. But you're also gonna have people that they want to talk and need to talk on a daily basis. And so if that's not something that you can you can commit to, I think setting proper expectations is a good way to prevent burnout.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, and I think it's we used to, you know, you go back five years ago, we used to chat in group chats and comments on, I guess it was, you know, kick back in the day, and now it's kind of moved to Snapchat. I think most people are using Snapchat for for lifestyle group messaging or or telegram. Uh, but yeah, it used to be we would be on there every day and we would kind of check in with everybody and how's your day and maybe send a naughty picture. Yeah, drop a naughty picture. If we had sex that night, may make a little video for everybody and send it in the group. And honestly, I those that's great. That's fun. Like it is a good way to communicate and keep up with your friends. And then, like you're saying, now we have friend groups all across the country. Now we're in like uh 20 group chats, and there's just no way to keep up with it. There's just no way. And it's not to say that these friends are more important than those friends, or you know, and then we put more and more on our plate as far as our commitments. So, you know, our work days have gone from four hours to six hours to eight hours. Well, no, I think it's but I think you know, a lot of the couples I know that aren't super active in group chats and stuff are the ones that are running their own business and and have a busy, I think, work life.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I mean, or you could just work a nine to five and can't be on your phone. I mean, I think I don't I I don't think having a lifestyle business or knowing people across the country is makes that any you could know somebody five minutes down the street and they could blow your phone up all day. I don't I don't think personally I don't find that relevant. I think that it it can become overwhelming and can lead to burnout. And I think setting proper expectations of what you're you're you're comfortable with giving is is the appropriate way to prevent burnout.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. No, and well, I think in it it it can change to for whatever chapter you're are in your life, right? So like us, we we could keep up with group chats four or five years ago. Now we we can't and and don't. So I think I think it ebbs and flows. I don't think it's necessarily universally, you're either are or you aren't one of those couples. I think it it kind of it reflects what chapter of your life you're you're at or or in. Um but yeah, uh I know I I can remember when we did used to do a lot of group chats, you sometimes would get frustrated with me because if I was at home and not not working, sometimes I would get on my phone and I would start going just going through the group chats, right? Because I hadn't responded in a day or two, and I just start going through them all and I'd respond to everybody. And meanwhile, you're out grocery shopping or running errands or something.

SPEAKER_01

And my phone is like blowing up, and it's like him sending like naughty pictures or him, you know, being like, hey, everybody. And so like that would cause tension between you and I because I'm out like just trying to do household stuff, and you're like at home sitting on the couch, texting everybody, you know, and so like that would cause tension. Yeah, but we worked it out.

SPEAKER_02

But I think I think most couples probably have experienced that too, right? That you're you're busy at work and doing it.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, like what if somebody's like a stay-at-home, you know, person, husband or wife, and the other person works like, you know, a corporate job, maybe they can't have their phone out, and one person is texting back and forth all day long, and then the other person comes out of work and checks their phone and they've got you know tons of messages, and you're like, Well, what did you do? Did you just chat with everybody all day while I worked? I mean, it can definitely cause some tension and tension and stuff like that can lead to burnout.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I actually we when I was still active duty in the military, uh there was a while there where I had a job where I couldn't take my phone into the the area that I worked, and so it was very common for me to come up, come out of work and have to catch up. I wouldn't get I don't think I would get frustrated. There would be times where I just wouldn't, and you know what I mean. Then you would be like, We talked about this. I was like, I don't yeah, when did you talk about it? I missed that, I guess, you know. So uh I think everybody's in different situations, and the amount that you can contribute to those kind of things varies on the situation you're in. And I also think, you know, sometimes you just like screw I don't want to deal with all this. Like I just don't, and and you know, it kind of says that's that is a sign of burnout, right? Like if you were somebody that's active and communicating, and then you just get sick of doing that, it's probably one of those red flags that hey, maybe you're doing too much.

SPEAKER_01

Well, the lifestyle is all about communicating, you know, and you're communicating so much with your partner, and then you add on all of these friends and people that you've met along the way, it can be a little daunting, you know, like all the all the websites, all the apps, like making sure you're checking and responding to everybody, it it can be a lot. And probably why, like, for instance, if like there is like a naughty in New Orleans, we're about to go on that telegram group, and there's people in there chatting all day long and people on the naughty app messaging all day long and chatting and dropping stuff, like we have not participated in it at all. It's just it becomes overwhelming, you know. So for us, we just to for something for us to keep us from burning out, we just don't really engage a lot. If somebody messages us directly, we will respond or at least try to do respond to most of them. But as far as like day in and day out, like combo, it's hard, we just that's something that we kind of avoid just to help prevent that.

SPEAKER_02

No, a hundred percent. Um if you feel like you're uh experiencing burnout, and I think this is relevant to us right now, how do you how do you express that to your partner? Or maybe if you're a partner and you're loving it and you're wanting to do more and you're wanting to go full speed steam and your partner comes to you and expresses that they need they're experiencing burnout and want to slow down, how do you how do you handle that?

SPEAKER_01

Well, I think just like when you first start in the lifestyle and we say play down to the slowest person, you know, like whoever is kind of tiptoeing the most, you know. I think with this, I think if one wants to do more and one wants to do less, I think the right answer would be to do less for that person or come up with some sort of compromise. Like if they say only do one every six months, maybe you do one every three months to compromise, you know, instead of one a month or two a month, you know. I think you have to like talk to your partner and compromise uh. Uh somewhere in the middle there. But yeah, that would be I think with anything in the lifestyle, just talking to your partner, like you know, we're doing too much. This is too much. I'm, you know, I miss my kids. I've not been home. I, you know, we're spending too much money on all these events. Look at how much money we could have put in our savings, you know. Stuff like I mean, conversations like that are I think where it just it it starts there.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, and I I mean the fact that you mentioned mentioned money, I think is important because I I don't know how many friends that we have had where that's the primary.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, they're like we can like their first year, they go to every single thing, and the next year they're like, we can't do that. Like we have to pick our favorites and go, you know, to just those handful because it's not realistic to be able to afford to go to all the people. Right.

SPEAKER_02

So even if you can emotionally or physically, you have no issues with going to a ton of parties. You know, maybe financially, it's just something you can't, yeah, you can't do. And that that could be another aspect of, hey, we're doing too much, we need to slow down. Um, like you said, so that we can pay our bills or not grade our savings.

SPEAKER_01

It also could be like a season of life. Like we have friends that their kids play like high school football. So in the fall, they don't do anything because their schedule is so strapped. So they know if there's a fall party, the automatically they're not gonna be there. Or like if they have little kids and they're out for summer break, the summertime they don't do anything because they don't have babysitters, they don't have, you know, help. So I think having seasons of your life like that that you know you're not gonna do stuff, or like if you have like teenagers, or like if you're just in a season where life is busy, maybe hey, we have our whole lives. Let's just like, let's just maybe do one cool vacation a year, like lifestyle vacation, and then let's focus on our kids. They're gonna be out of the house in three years, and then we can go full fit. So I think like having those conversations about like what's important and where you are in life is it is okay. And then fast forward, not even to talk about kids. You could be like it could be a season of life where you're one of you are sick or one of you could take a break. You know, I think work's busy. I mean, there's so many. So I could give you every scenario in the book, but I think that's okay to just like constantly be having these conversations of like like a pulse check, like where are we? How are the things? Are we doing too much? Do we doing too little? Should we pause? Should we, you know, like all of those conversations are where it starts.

SPEAKER_02

No, I agree. And I think you're right that just like the advice that we give to new couples, this would be a similar advice where you you you have to kind of play down to the person that is feeling the burnout, right? Because of this lifestyle and that the fact that it involves sex and it involves intimacy, yeah, you really can't pressure somebody into doing it.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, because at the end of the day, your marriage and your partnership should be the first the highest level of concern, you know. Everything else should come second, third, fourth, you know, whatever. So it if if you find that you're not putting that relationship first, I think that's a very slippery slope.

SPEAKER_02

I think that's where we've seen problems happen in a lifestyle. And I think it's it's easy to get caught up in the fun of this. It's easy to want to do more and and push your boundaries further and experiment more. Um, but if you get a sense that one partner is not on the same page or is not comfortable uh in the direction that you're going, uh you have to value that partner and you have to pull back and you have to play down to their comfort level or or else you're I think you're asking for trouble. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And uh you're compromising what should be the most important part of all of this. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Right. And if and if it's not, then you need to pause maybe and reevaluate, right? If if if having that experience that you are fantasizing about becomes more important to you than your partner's comfort level or your partner's feelings, that's uh to me, that would be a uh a reason to stop and pause and have some hard conversations before moving forward. Because if you again, if you just keep moving forward, you know, if you keep pushing that snowball down the hill, it's it's only a matter of time until something bad happens and and and you have to face the consequences of that, I think. Can you be burnt out from too much uh good experiences? Like, does it have to be that it this is a bad thing?

SPEAKER_01

No, I don't think so. I if too much of anything can be bad, you know? So I I I definitely think like you could have nothing but amazing experiences, but because you're doing them so often, I think it can take away from the excitement that led to that. So I I don't think it's always bad. I think it it can be a good thing. I think that's probably a harder place to like make that decision. And that's probably where we have been, honestly, for the last few years. Like I think we've known we've been burned out, but we've kind of pushed through it because it's our job and we're just very grateful to be given this platform and and to be, you know, having all these fun experiences. And if you want to apply that to a couple, you're you're having all of these wonderful trips and experiences, and nothing's bad is happening. So I think it's harder to identify and maybe harder to like correct, but it definitely I think it can be a good thing, it doesn't have to be a bad thing.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, and I think you're right. I think it's when you are, it makes it harder to identify that you're being you're burnt out when you're having too much of a good thing. Yeah, and I do think that's where we're at.

SPEAKER_01

Like, for example, like if you go to Secrets every single weekend, you're gonna have fun every single weekend because Secrets is fucking a blast, right? But at some point, like it's every fucking weekend, right? You know, at some point you're exhausted, and some point it loses a little bit of its spark because you are literally experiencing it every single weekend. And to be honest with you, I am somewhat envious of couples that do like a few things a year and they are so excited about it. You know, they're like, we get people that are like, what are you wearing to this event? And it's like six months out. And I'm like, I have no fucking clue what I'm wearing in two weeks. Like the fact that you are thinking about something six months out is awesome and crazy at the same time. So, like, there is part of me that's almost envious of couples that uh only do a few things and really like the buildup and the workup to it, it's just like they're very excited about it.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. No, I think I think 100%. I think if you look at, I really like ice cream, right? And I, you know, I probably would eat ice cream every single day, but at some point you're you get sick of it, right? You're like, yeah, I really like ice cream, but gosh dang, I've just been eating way too much ice cream, right? It's it's no longer brings me the same joy that it did when I only had it, like you said, once a week or once a month or something like that. And I I think the lifestyle is a similar thing. Like you can you can do a lot and you can still enjoy doing a lot, but it can kind of take away from the specialness of that thing if you're just doing it all the time.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Um, and I think what you're saying is true that that that level is different for everybody. Yeah, some people that level they might be able to do it every weekend and it'd be fun. I there's couples that go on dates during the week, yeah, and and go to events on the weekends, and and they just are engulfed in the lifestyle almost every single day, and and they love it, and it's not they're not getting burned out from it. It's just who they are. There are some couples that can't go to an event once a month, and after six months, they're burned out. Yeah. So it I think it's very much on where you're at and and how much tolerance you have for it, what your balance is, like you said, what your personal life is. You got little kids at home, if you got, you know, stuff like that, you you might need more personal life than lifestyle life. You know, if you're somebody that everybody's grown up and gone and out of the house and you're an empty nester, you probably have more room in your cup for for lifestyle stuff and lifestyle people. Um so I think it is different for everybody. I don't think there's, you know, we're not trying to say there's a wrong way or a right way to navigate this. We're just kind of talking um that one, this this issue does exist, and that two, we are kind of in the middle of it. And uh, we kind of have hit a rock and and and stopped and said, okay, what are we doing? What's important to us, and and how can we adjust this so that we can move forward and move forward in a way to where we get a little bit of that spark back.

SPEAKER_01

No, I agree.

SPEAKER_02

Uh okay, anything else to say about burnout?

SPEAKER_01

We're not going anywhere unless y'all force us to. I mean, the goal is to be here. Uh, we we love swinger side, we love EP, we love the podcasts. Like they all very much provide a lot of joy for us. Finding the balance between all of them and then other outside events on top of that is definitely where we um we're working towards. So don't don't let this be a freak out. We're not we're not going anywhere. At least we hope not.

SPEAKER_02

Anyway, those are the kind of conversations we're having, right? Because we love our events and we'd love our community, right? But but throwing our events are the heaviest lift for us, yeah, and give us probably the least amount of time to be Dan and Lacey, the lifestyle couple, right? The in the pool making out with strangers and playrooms and the the you know, the stuff about the lifestyle that we really enjoy. Now we love, but we love curating those events for the community, and we feel like, you know, we might have a little pride on our shoulders, but we feel like there's some of the better events that that even our friends like going to and admit participating in and stuff like that. So we don't want to stop those. We don't want to, we don't even really want to pull back on those, right? And so we've had a lot of conversations on, you know, maybe we can can uh pay more people to do more of the work, right? Maybe, maybe it's uh even if it's at a no profit or slightly lost profit type of a thing, if it's not so much on us and it makes it, you know, it gives us a little bit more room in our cup to enjoy more, maybe that would be worth it. Uh, you know, maybe we need to not go to so many other events that we are not necessarily obligated to go to, we're just supporting other people. Um, you know, maybe we can do one or two cruises instead of all of them or you know, and things like that. So those are the kind of conversations we're having. So if you've listened to this podcast and you got the idea that we're we're quitting or that we're burnt out completely and we want to step away, that is not true. Uh, we're gonna be part of this community probably till the day we die. Uh if if you want our honest that's where we're at uh in our journey.

SPEAKER_01

We just gotta find a balance so that way we can continue and and with a smile on our face.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, well, the truth is I don't want people to see me at an event and me just be exhausted. You know what I mean? Yeah, like I want to be energetic, I want to be fun, I want to be on the dance floor, I want to be clacking the fans. I, when I interact with people, want them to see us for who we are, not us who are barely surviving and just yeah, dragging through life. You know what I mean? Yeah, and so that's important to me.

SPEAKER_01

So we're working on it, and if you are also experiencing burnout, hopefully this gives you some talking points or kind of something to work on because that's kind of where we are. So if you are feeling the same way we feel, we are right there with you, and I'm sure we're all gonna get through it. We'll be fine.

SPEAKER_02

I think the important part is having the conversation, yeah, and stopping and and and taking that pause and and getting with your partner and saying, Hey, this is how I feel. How do you feel? Yeah, what can we do to make this better?

SPEAKER_00

Correct.

SPEAKER_02

As long as you can do that, you can you can work your way through it. And we're we're gonna work our way through it. I have no no doubts of that whatsoever.

SPEAKER_01

We also are in like the height of our like schedule.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Keep in mind. So speaking of we're in the trenches, guys. Like we're at the height, like our like summer is our busiest in July, like we're about to come on July.

SPEAKER_02

So maybe the fact that we're feeling burnout right now is not necessarily the best thing, but um I do think maybe as we go through these next couple of weeks, you know. I I know for Naughty in New Orleans, for example, we are doing about half this year of what we agreed to do last year because of this exact thing.

SPEAKER_01

Last year, when we came we left Naughty, we we love it, and and they gave us all these opportunities, and we were like, yes, we'll yes, we were very yes, you we'll do it all. Do you tell us what you want us to do? We'll be there and do it. And we realized after Naughty that we bit off a little bit more than we could choose. So this year we purposely kind of set our schedule so that way it wasn't quite like last year. We were eating turkey and cheese as we walked down the hallway, and that was our dinner. Like it was it was that busy. So we, you know, we've so even though we're experiencing burnout currently, we had already kind of put steps in motion to sort of like help with that. So thank goodness. Um, but yeah, but like honestly, I'm very excited about Naughty, you know, coming up. We don't, we are doing some things, but not too much. So I'm I'm very excited. We have a a lot of people coming. We're excited to hang out with them. So yeah, so about two weeks is Naughty. So we're very, very excited. Um, and if you're listening to this and you're like that naughty New Orleans sounds amazing, well, I don't know if we're gonna be there next year. I can't imagine we wouldn't. No, that would be one that would it would be very hard for us to do that. Yeah, I don't think Naughty New Orleans is gonna come off our schedule, but um, but usually about August, they announce the you know the next one. So keep an eye out for Swingersiety.net. We'd love to have you. Um, or if you know, if you're there with someone out another group, you're welcome to come to all the things that we host. We'd love to see people and meet people. It's a great time.

SPEAKER_02

Yes. Uh so all things, all of our events that are, you know, the other, I think we still got like 10 left or something this year. Uh you can find information to all those at swingerssociety.net. Uh Naughty New Orleans is coming up. We got uh what HETO after that. Uh then into a splash.

SPEAKER_01

Splash, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

And then into a um splash for Lauderdale. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01

And then there's also Secrets, which is sold out. Uh, we have Electric Pleasures um again in October.

SPEAKER_02

Chattanooga.

SPEAKER_01

Bliss Cruise, November. So yeah, lots of fun things coming up. You can find those all at Swingerside.net. Um, we're excited.

SPEAKER_02

We're excited, and we're gonna find a better work balance, not only for our schedule, but I think for the events themselves. Yeah. Uh, so that we can enjoy the events more and be with you guys more, um, and not necessarily running around like chickens with our head cut off.

SPEAKER_01

But just seeing this on a positive note, we are very grateful for this platform. And I don't want this at all to come across as like we're bitching or complaining or anything like that. We are very grateful for the support that everyone has given us. We're grateful for the life that we have built, you know, with y'all's support. Um, and and and we're happy to be a huge part of this community and look forward to seeing how you know this changes and grows over the next few years.

SPEAKER_02

100%. Couldn't say better by myself. So I think with that, in a world full of apples, be the pineapple. Be the pineapple, guys.

SPEAKER_01

Bye.

SPEAKER_02

Bye. If you've enjoyed our podcast and want to support us, leave a five-star review wherever you're listening. If you want to see more of our content, you can find links to Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, OnlyFans, and more in the show notes. Come join the conversation with us and other Twinner content creators on our Twinger Society Discord server. If you have questions or feedback, email them to us at dustwination at gmail.com. Make sure you head on over to dustwination.net and keep up to date on all things TwinNation. We thank you so much for joining us and we'll see you next time. Goodbye.