Tuesday Talks: How to Know if They Want You

Tuesday Talks: How to Know if They Want You | Episode 118

How do you know when another couple is actually interested—or if they’re just being friendly? In this episode of Tuesday Talks, a listener asks Dan and Lacy how to recognize the signs that another couple may want to take things beyond casual conversation.

Dan and Lacy share practical advice for reading the room, noticing mutual effort, and recognizing when flirting and connection seem to be reciprocated. They also explain why it can be difficult to tell in the lifestyle, where people are often naturally friendly and open.

Sometimes, the only way to get a clear answer is to take a chance, put yourself out there, and simply ask. Dan and Lacy discuss how to express interest respectfully and handle the answer gracefully—whether it’s an enthusiastic yes or a polite no.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

This podcast is intended for adult audiences over the age of 18. It contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice.

SPEAKER_02 0:22

Welcome to the Swing Nation Podcast, a podcast by swingers for swingers, where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle. Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe. Interview the experts. Learn and grow together. Join the nation.

SPEAKER_00 0:50

Tuesday talks. Just send your questions to Dan and Lakes and Tuesday talks. Swing Nation got you feeling sexy. Tuesday talks.

unknown 1:01

Talking Tuesday with Dan and Lacey.

SPEAKER_01 1:06

How about that high note?

SPEAKER_03 1:07

That was perfect. Hey there, pineapple people, and welcome to the Swing Nation podcast. We are your hosts, Northern Guy.

SPEAKER_01 1:13

And Southern Girl.

SPEAKER_03 1:14

And we are back with another electrifying episode of Tuesday Talks.

SPEAKER_01 1:20

We are. Talking Tuesday with Doug and Wacy. I feel like we need like cartoon characters.

SPEAKER_03 1:27

We got less Doug and Wacy at Naughty New Orleans than we did at um Splash Houston.

SPEAKER_01 1:34

True. But it's funny, I saw you posted something on Reddit and I clicked on it because I like to read the comments sometimes when somebody said, Hey, Wacey.

SPEAKER_03 1:41

Hey Wacy. Yeah. Uh also we had somebody email us um with a picture of their ID and their name is Wacey. It is. W-A-C-Y, but it is a male.

SPEAKER_01 1:55

So we and you didn't talk about it, but do you know I was married before? His last name was my previous last name. Did you catch that?

SPEAKER_03 2:05

Uh yes, I think so.

SPEAKER_01 2:06

I thought that was kind of like a small world.

SPEAKER_03 2:08

Uh-huh. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:10

That's not my last name anymore. No. Thank goodness.

SPEAKER_03 2:12

His name last name is your ex's last name, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:14

Correct. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 2:15

Your son's last name.

SPEAKER_01 2:16

My son's last name. Yeah. But small world. But I remember I told you.

SPEAKER_03 2:19

So if y'all know he had the same middle name as you too?

SPEAKER_01 2:22

No, I don't think so.

SPEAKER_03 2:23

It wasn't Wacy Lou?

SPEAKER_01 2:25

I don't think so.

SPEAKER_03 2:26

I'm gonna have to go back and look.

SPEAKER_01 2:27

But anyway, when I was on live, like I don't know, it's been a while. Somebody called me and said my name is Wacy, and we talked about on the podcast, and Dan was like, you're ridiculous.

SPEAKER_03 2:34

Nobody I'm like, they're fucking with you, they're trolling you. Nobody's name is Wacy.

SPEAKER_01 2:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:38

It's not a good name. So he was sorry, sorry, Wacy.

SPEAKER_01 2:40

That yeah, that is uh that's a you know, somebody else speaking of names, somebody call me on one of our Instagram and said, Where did the name Lacey come from? I'm already Yeah, Lacey. Yeah, it was actually my grandfather's middle name.

SPEAKER_03 2:53

I was gonna say Lacey is a uh uh gender neutral name, right?

SPEAKER_01 2:57

Yeah, um, and they were like, that's really cool. I love when people come up with their stage names. And I'm like, it's not my stage. Lacey is my real name.

SPEAKER_03 3:04

Yeah, we get that all the time. Like Dan and Lacey is our government name. It's our government name.

SPEAKER_01 3:09

Yeah, true is a little like if you've been around long enough. I actually went by my sit my dead sister's, it's a little fucked up. My dead sister's name for like the first month. Not the podcast, not on the podcast, but like on social media. Um, which she was younger than she would have thought that was totally cool. It wasn't like a weird thing, it's not weird for me. It could be weird to other people. It was just too hard.

SPEAKER_03 3:33

Yeah. It's well, it's too hard to have fake names.

SPEAKER_01 3:36

Yeah, it's too hard to have fake names.

SPEAKER_03 3:37

I was like, it's too hard to keep up with all that. Even our friends that have fake names, you know how many how many times we've had to edit the podcast?

SPEAKER_01 3:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 3:43

Just the last episode because we were saying people's names that have fake names and stuff.

SPEAKER_01 3:47

Yeah, yeah, it's it's hard to keep up with. So no, our real names Dan and Lacey.

SPEAKER_03 3:51

Well, and the thing is, like, how many Dan and Lacey's are there in the world? Like you know what I mean? Like, I don't feel like you knowing just that is enough to where you're gonna maybe, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 4:01

Anyway, let's get to this week's Tuesday talk. It came in yesterday.

SPEAKER_03 4:04

So this is Fresh off the press.

SPEAKER_01 4:07

Fresh. Okay, it says, Hi there. She she said she would send a video, but she couldn't get over the awkwardness.

SPEAKER_03 4:12

So yeah, so she was she was thinking about doing our first um video question on the big screen. Yes, and but she said it was too awkward to to do to record. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:23

So she goes by Rose. So it says, Myself and my husband are less than a year into the lifestyle. For the most part, we haven't had to do any of the pursuing. Everyone has seemed to come to us, which is great. But putting us in a weird place now that we're starting to be the ones to reach out to others. Additionally, we've made some other new friends that are also sort of struggling with this particular aspect of the swinging world. What are your clues, signs, hacks for figuring out whether a couple you're talking to are blowing you off or just aren't interested? At what point do you give up trying and move along? Thanks in advance. Maybe one day my OnlyFans will take off and we'll see you on a cruise. And they go by the roses. And she's a cutie.

SPEAKER_03 5:09

Yeah, she sent a few pictures.

SPEAKER_01 5:10

Yes, I'm looking at them.

SPEAKER_03 5:11

Some of them are a little graphic, uh, and I wasn't mad about looking at them.

SPEAKER_01 5:15

Not at all.

SPEAKER_03 5:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:16

They're you they're a young couple, a cute couple.

SPEAKER_03 5:18

Apparently, they have an OnlyFans.

SPEAKER_01 5:19

Um apparently.

SPEAKER_03 5:19

Maybe they need a club. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 5:21

I don't know. Um anyway, so that is their question.

SPEAKER_03 5:24

They they didn't have to work for it in the beginning, and now they they need to like fill people out and they don't know how to This is a little off topic, but do you feel like when you first come into the lifestyle, you're always gonna have that bump of you're the new couple?

SPEAKER_01 5:42

You say that because we actually had a conversation with a couple this weekend because someone had called them the new couple a year or so ago.

SPEAKER_03 5:50

And insinuated that maybe people are only interested in in them because they were the new couple, right?

SPEAKER_01 5:54

No, I think that you would be lying if you sat here and said that having a new couple come in doesn't spark some interest, right? You know, I mean, like just like if you have a new kid instead of fresh meat, new blood, whatever, yeah. But I also but I don't feel like that takes away. They're good, like solid couple that you genuinely enjoy.

SPEAKER_03 6:11

Like let's be honest, a new couple can come in and if you're not attracted to them and you're not vibing with them, it doesn't matter. You're not gonna want to fuck them, right? Yeah, yeah. But when a new couple comes in that is hot and attractive, and then it's like, oh yeah, of course they're gonna be like fresh meat, right?

SPEAKER_01 6:24

But they're also if as long as they're like a good couple and the and the vibe is there, that can continue on it can be an ongoing thing. Yeah, it doesn't just end after you know you've fucked one time, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:36

Right. Um, so yeah, we actually get how like when you are a new couple, like everybody in the friend group might be kind of like lining up to get their term that first or whatever, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:45

I think that goes, I think that's just like society. Like you take like when we were in school and a new kid would come to school.

SPEAKER_03 6:51

Oh, everybody wants to talk to him, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:53

Yeah, everybody wants to talk to him. Everyone wants to be their boyfriend or their girlfriend or be their friend or whatever, you know. So I I don't think it's like a swinger thing, I think it's just like a society thing.

SPEAKER_03 7:03

Oh, I agree. I agree with that. Yeah, okay. So basically she wanted to know how do you know if you're so it sounds like they've gotten through that bump now and now they're kind of like, oh shit, we might actually have to start talking to people, we might have to start initiating with people. How can we tell these people that are we're talking to how do we know if they're actually interested or not?

SPEAKER_01 7:21

And the truth is I'm that's hard, and I'm probably not a good judge of that because a lot of people talk to us and I just I don't assume anyone wants to fuck, you know. I just think that they're just being nice because we have a podcast and are being our friend, you know. But I will say the people that have the most luck, or at least it seems to me, are success, are the ones that just put it out there. The ones that are like, hey, we're gonna go fuck. Y'all interested?

SPEAKER_00 7:47

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 7:48

Um, because at the end of the day, everybody wants to fuck, you know? And at that point, if the couple's like, oh, well, um, maybe then they might be blowing you off, you know. They might actually just be tired or might have other plans, but they could very well be blowing you off. At least you kind of know, you know, you you have a good idea of what's going on.

SPEAKER_03 8:06

I think a hundred percent that's the right answer, right? I think too often in this lifestyle, in this community, we play this guessing game.

SPEAKER_01 8:16

I'm the worst at it.

SPEAKER_03 8:17

When we could just use our words, yeah. And I for all their we all know why we're there. Yeah. We're all and honestly, most people there probably want to fuck. It's more people than you think. You you have insecurities and you have all these. You are doubting yourself in your own head, so are they. And so the most time, the reason that orgy doesn't happen or sex doesn't happen at the end of the night, because nobody can get out of their own way and just say the things that they want to say. And that's a lot of the reason we've kind of become the in our friend group, and we've backed off from this a little bit here in the last year or so, but we've always been like the orchestrator, and it's all and it's like everybody in our friend group, and there's a few others in our friend group that are pretty good orchestrators too, but there's you know only two or three couples out of like 40 that are usually the ones that'll be like, hey guys, let's have an orgy tonight. Yeah, let's do it in this room at this time. And yeah, hey, you, you, you, and you, you guys want to come? Yeah, okay, let's go. Yeah, there's out of our entire friend group of like 40 or 50 couples, there's only a handful of people that actually do that.

SPEAKER_01 9:16

I disagree. They're all fucking, yeah, they're all fucking babies.

SPEAKER_03 9:20

I'm talking about the I'm talking about the instigators, the initiators.

SPEAKER_01 9:23

Yeah, I think that you do a very good job of being like, hey, we're gonna go, but I I think it happens even yeah, I think there's more. I think out of 40, there's probably half that do.

SPEAKER_03 9:32

Yeah. But what I'm saying is it's that's a harder thing than most people realize.

SPEAKER_01 9:35

No, no, you are hopelessly correct there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:38

A lot of people are missing out on experiences, connections.

SPEAKER_01 9:41

Because they're afraid.

SPEAKER_03 9:42

And they end up going home or they end up going to bed with alone or with just their partner because they just don't put themselves out there. They don't, they're too afraid to say, No, I hey, we're into you. We're gonna go to the playroom in an hour. If you guys want to join us, that'd be awesome. Yeah, if not, we'll just have fun with it.

SPEAKER_01 9:58

You know, like and there's a fine line to that, you know, you don't want to be too pushy, you don't want to come, you know, so like there's an art to it, you know. You right. If you say it once and they don't bite, don't say it five minutes later, and then an hour, an hour later, or the next day, and then the next like no, the truth is sometimes like I'm thinking we just we're we're coming off a naughty in New Orleans, and there's this one couple that we really want to fuck, and it's just never happened. And they straight up put it out there, and they straight up put it out there, but like we were already in our room and our comfy, but you know, comfy clothes, and we were, you know, so it wasn't because we didn't like them or we don't want to, we do but even then, like, so they were like, Hey, do you guys want to hook up tonight?

SPEAKER_03 10:31

And I straight up texted them back and was like, we want to hook up with you, but Lacey's already half asleep. Yeah, can we get a rain check? So at least they know, right? So, like, it's not like they put it out there and we like blew them off. It was they got the response of not tonight, but let's make this shit happen. Yeah, and we still ended up fucking them, but we're we're gonna make that happen. We're going to, yeah. But and I I think, you know, and could they have sent that text and we could have replied back and been like, oh yeah, maybe like let's see what happens, sure.

SPEAKER_01 10:58

Which I'm really bad about that. Yeah, even if I really want to fuck them. I'm I struggle with this probably more so than you do. Um, I have to remind myself, we're all here to fuck. We have, you know, like, and like I'm bad about like going, like leading up to events. I'm like, okay, I'm gonna put myself out there, I'm gonna be brave, I'm gonna talk to people if I'm feeling the vibe, I'm just gonna say it. And then I get to the party and like completely forget everything. I just like built myself out.

SPEAKER_03 11:24

Yeah, it is even going into this naughty, you were turned up, and you're like, I want to be a dirty slut and I want to get you know DP'd every night and all this. And I was like, all right. I'm like, I even said I'm like, you always say this, and then at the end of the night, you're tired or you're whatever.

SPEAKER_01 11:38

And okay, we fuck two out of four nights.

SPEAKER_03 11:40

Which I'm not complaining about. I'm just saying you going into this was like, I'm going to like turn up. Yeah. And it was that was probably like normal, like average, like yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:48

Yeah. So I think you can go in with like the best intentions, but it can be you you can get it.

SPEAKER_03 11:53

But the truth is, you do get tired, you do get drunk, you do get, you know, you sometimes you you just aren't feeling it in that exact moment, you know, and that's and that's okay, you know.

SPEAKER_01 12:01

Yeah, no, I totally agree.

SPEAKER_03 12:02

Yeah, but I do think the answer to answer their question of how do you know if somebody is interested or not, you ask them.

SPEAKER_01 12:10

Yeah, you do.

SPEAKER_03 12:11

You let them know that you are interested, and you do that as bluntly but as politely as possible, yes, and then you gauge their response. Yeah, and that is a hard thing to do because you're gonna be told no sometimes. Yes, you are, and that sucks. It does, and it hurts, and it's gonna bring up all those insecurities that you've had your whole life, uh, and it's gonna make you feel less than. Um but the couples that we know that are the most successful and have the most experiences and kind of living their best life um out there openly they're just putting it out there, are the ones, and I will tell you, there are some times where I see these couples that are putting themselves out there, and I'm thinking, like, there's no way in hell they have a shot with that couple. Like they do it, and next thing you know, they're going back to a room somewhere or they're making it happen, and you're like, damn, I wish I had said something to that couple, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 13:05

Like, fuck.

SPEAKER_03 13:06

Yeah, uh, so I definitely think that is the answer. That you know, playing that guessing game is not don't try to read between the lines, don't try to, you know, just say, hey, we're really into you guys. And if you guys are into us, let's let's try to schedule some time to make something happen.

SPEAKER_01 13:23

No, and it honestly, the the two times that we played this last event, it was because people put it out there.

SPEAKER_03 13:29

And they came right up to us.

SPEAKER_01 13:30

And they came right out, they put it out. One actually messaged me, she she snapchatted me and said, Hey, you know, it was like in the middle of the day, hey, if you're interested, this is what we're thinking. Would you be down? And the other time somebody just walked around, the wife walked up to me and said, Hey, we're gonna go play and we'd love for y'all to come. Would you like to come? And then that and it worked both times.

SPEAKER_03 13:51

So yeah, please, if you are in our friend group and you want to fuck us, please do that. Yes. It and honestly, it it makes me so happy because it takes all the pressure off of us. I don't like being the one that has to coordinate and and try to, you know, pick which couples are going to do what. So if you come up to us and say, hey, us, that them and them are gonna go fuck, well, you guys want to come with us, and we do, that makes it easy for us. Yes, and we're gonna jump on that bandwagon nine out of ten times.

SPEAKER_01 14:18

I agree. Yeah. So put yourself out there, know that some people are gonna tell you no, and that is okay, and have fun.

SPEAKER_03 14:26

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 14:27

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 14:27

All right. Well, I hope that helps answer that Tuesday talk question for you. Also, super nice pictures you guys are hoping. Yes, thank you. Hope to see you at an event. If you're ever anywhere near the Nashville area, you know, and you need you need some collabs, reach out. Well, we actually have been looking for some OnlyFans collabs here recently.

SPEAKER_01 14:44

We've been slacking.

SPEAKER_03 14:45

We have not made a lot of OnlyFans content, and we actually have gotten on like the Reddit pages and kind of tried to look in our local area and seeing if we can find some collabs. So I don't know, you know, if you're in the the the greater Nashville area and you you know, maybe maybe they put their city, they're not anywhere close. Oh, okay. Well, if somebody else is and they you know, email us.

SPEAKER_00 15:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:05

Uh okay. Uh if you have a Tuesday talk question, we would love to hear from you. There's a few different ways you can get a hold of us. Yes. You can email us at theswingnation at gmail.com. You can send an audio file to that email. You can send a video file to that email. We'll put you up here in the studio on the big screen uh and listen to your question. Or you can call or text, and that phone number is 972-302-7716. One more time.

SPEAKER_01 15:34

972-302-7716.

SPEAKER_03 15:38

Shoot us a text, shoot us a message, let us know your questions, send some dick pics to Lacey. You guys got our phone number. Lacey checks it almost daily now. Uh now, if you text her thinking that she's gonna sex with you, or you think you're gonna have some kind of like romantic uh, you know, if you're trying to text her behind your wife's back, or you think you're gonna have some kind of like what was those like the the numbers you used to put to have to pay to uh like one in a hundred numbers. Yeah, you think you're gonna have some kind of like like sexting lines? Yeah, some kind of like phone sex line experience with Lacey, probably not gonna happen. No, probably not gonna happen, but if you have a question, uh we'll try to get to it.

SPEAKER_01 16:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 16:19

All right, anything else for the Swing Nation listeners, Lacey?

SPEAKER_01 16:22

That's it.

SPEAKER_03 16:23

All right, guys. I think with that, in a world full of apples.

SPEAKER_01 16:27

Be the pineapple.

SPEAKER_03 16:28

Be the pineapple, guys. Bye. Bye.

SPEAKER_02 16:34

If you've enjoyed our podcast and want to support us, leave a five-star review wherever you're listening. If you want to see more of our content, you can find links to Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, OnlyFans, and more in the show notes. Come join the conversation with us and other Twitter content creators on our Twinger Society Discord server. If you have questions or feedback, email them to us at thustwination at gmail.com. Make sure you head on over to thustwingnation.net and keep up to date on all things TwingNation. We thank you so much for joining us, and we'll see you next time. Goodbye.