Our First Full Swap

 Our First Full Swap | Episode 256

In this episode of The Swing Nation Podcast, Dan and Lacy take listeners back to the very beginning of their story and share how they first met—not through a dating app, mutual friends, or a traditional first date, but as two singles already exploring the lifestyle.

Unlike many couples who discover non-monogamy years into their relationship, Dan and Lacy entered their relationship with an understanding of the lifestyle from day one. But that didn’t mean everything was easy. They open up about the unique challenges they faced while building a new relationship in a world filled with attraction, boundaries, jealousy, communication, and plenty of unexpected situations.

They also tell the story of their very first full-swap experience together, including what went wrong, what surprised them, and the important lessons they carried forward. From learning how to communicate honestly to understanding that every experience will not go perfectly, Dan and Lacy share how those early moments helped shape the couple—and the lifestyle partners—they are today.

Whether you entered the lifestyle together, met while already in it, or are simply curious about how it all began for Dan and Lacy, this episode offers an honest, funny, and revealing look at their journey from lifestyle singles to The Swing Nation.

Tune in now to hear the story of how it all started!

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

This podcast is intended for adult audiences over the age of 18. It contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice.

SPEAKER_00 0:22

Welcome to the Swing Nation Podcast, a podcast by swingers for swingers, where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle. Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe, interview the experts, learn and grow together. Join the nation. And we are back with another full length episode of the Swing Nation Podcast. We are all right. So we are doing a little ad lib today. Yeah. We had a podcast recording scheduled for today because we're going to be gone for uh hedonism next week. Uh, and our guest had a dentist appointment and is unable to record because of what happened at the dentist appointment.

SPEAKER_02 1:19

He's just a little sore, a little swollen. So we decided to just put that off. We didn't want him to feel uncomfortable while we record. So basically, we were like, well, we got to come up with something.

SPEAKER_03 1:30

Right.

SPEAKER_02 1:30

So we were like Googling and looking things up, and Dan came up with the idea of telling you about our first full swamp, which did not go, it was not like Sunshine and Rainbows.

SPEAKER_00 1:43

Yeah, I think, you know, we've been doing this podcast for what, six years now. Uh, and so a lot of our stories now are, you know, naughty in New Orleans and bliss crews and heedo and secrets and orgies and gangbangs and wifey or Lacey's going to do pro porn shoots, and you know, it seems all pretty uh extravagant and and great, and which it is, and we love it, and it's a good time. Um, but you know, I think for most of our listeners, that's not um their life. That's not probably the type of experiences they are having. And so um I think you know, going back to kind of our roots and telling our origin story of how we got here and um what our first swap experience was was like would was like and some of the mistakes we made um could could help our our listeners. Uh and also I think it's you know good to like maybe ground ourselves a little bit and kind of remember how far we've come. Yeah, no, for sure. Remember when we're just little baby pineapples trying to navigate this, uh, all the emotions and feelings that come along um with joining the lifestyle. I think it's important.

SPEAKER_02 2:51

Yeah, no, I agree. So since that story is is not an hour-long story, we're gonna uh on the first half of the podcast, we're gonna talk a little bit, like just a a quick recap of how we came to be how we found each other, how we found the lifestyle. Um, and then on the second half, uh, we'll go ahead and into that story. So if you've been around since the beginning, you may have already heard this, or if you've followed along, especially when I used to go TikTok live, I would all, you know, who would ask? So I would tell the story quite often. But if you're a new listener and maybe you started from the middle or something, it's kind of nice to um come back to it every so often. So I guess yeah, let's just get started then.

SPEAKER_00 3:33

All right. So yeah, like Lacey said, let's start with how Dan and Lacey came to be. I think our story is unique. Yeah. Uh, I don't, you know, I think when we talk to a lot of people that are getting are interested in joining the lifestyle, it's typically like, oh, we've been married for 10 years, and you know, we got married right after high school, and we've only ever had sex with each other, and you know, our kids are grown and out of the house now, and we're looking to spice things up and travel and do things, and uh, you know, how how do I talk to my wife about this or how do I talk to my husband about this? Uh, you know, we see a lot of that. But me and Lacey actually met in the lifestyle.

SPEAKER_02 4:09

We did.

SPEAKER_00 4:10

Uh, we had both been in long-term relationships, and those long-term relationships didn't work out, and so we kind of had stumbled our way into the lifestyle. So I'll let you start uh with your story and kind of how you found the lifestyle.

SPEAKER_02 4:23

Okay. So just like a quick recap of like my dating/slash married life. I got married at 22 and was married for six years and have a beautiful child from that marriage. It just didn't work out. And um I honestly, I was single for quite a while before I met Dan. I mean, I say single, not married. I was in a long-term relationship. I was actually even engaged. Um, and then after that relationship ended, I dated another guy. And honestly, we had a really good sex life. We had um a lot of fun together. I mean, honestly, I needed some hot sex at that point in my life. And one night we had had sex or something, and we were just laying there, you know, like pillow talk, talking about things. And he mentioned there was a club in Nashville um that was a sex club. And I in no way did I understand that it was a swingers club or anything like that. I just thought you go and like people have sex. I was assuming like maybe with their partners. I guess I didn't realize the swapping part of it.

SPEAKER_03 5:29

Right.

SPEAKER_02 5:30

And it intrigued me. Um, I the next we didn't, you know, I went home, we didn't live together. And the next day, I, you know, I kept thinking about it. I kept finding myself like, you know, going back to it, like when I was at work the next day. So I ended up Googling like sex club in Nashville. I didn't really find anything. Um, if you know anything about lifestyle businesses on the internet, you have to kind of be undercover. So especially, you know, this many years ago. So I really I didn't find anything. So I text him and I was like, hey, I tried to Google that club and I can't find anything. And of course, his ears perked up and was like, So you're saying there's a chance? Yeah. So he's like, Well, I can I can ask my friend that told me about it and get some information. I was like, okay. So he did. And um, and it's some and so if you don't know, that club is called Minaj. It was in Nashville, it closed during COVID. It was a really fun, cool club, very close to downtown Nashville, which was really cool. Um, but he and it was in fact the swingers club. So, but I didn't know. Um, so he was like, Well, you have to make a profile and get approved. And so he did that. And then it was around like Valentine's Day. So he was like, Let's go and we can like make it our Valentine's Day weekend. You know, we went out to dinner, we dressed up, it was like a whole thing. We got a hotel, it was a whole thing. I, of course, what'd you wear? Um black dress with a red blazer.

SPEAKER_00 6:55

Black dress and a red blazer.

SPEAKER_02 6:57

Because it was like a Valentine's Day theme.

SPEAKER_00 6:59

And I didn't know like, you know, themes like now, Minaj was kind of a it's kind of like a trappies sort of classy, like it is kind of a yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:08

So I and the dress that I wore like came to my knees, but it was sexy. It was, you know, fitted and ruched and and then I wore like a little red blazer because it was February, so it was kind of chilly. Uh, but I got a little tipsy before I was nervous, and I and I failed to mention this. As we were driving to like our hotel and stuff that weekend, I was Googling and we were talking about, you know, what we're about to get ourselves into, and I did figure out it was a swingers club. Um, and I honestly still don't know what I didn't really know what that meant. You know, I knew what a swinger was, but I didn't really understand what like a swingers club was. But we did have the like basic conversations of like, what the fuck are we doing? And it wasn't like one of those good conversations of like boundaries and rules. It wasn't anything like that. It was mainly like, okay, if one of us is uncomfortable, we're gonna leave, right? You know, we're not gonna, we're not gonna force either one of us to do something that we're not comfortable with. So that was our agreement.

SPEAKER_00 8:04

So, was did you think there might be a chance that you might end up in an orgy or uh no, no?

SPEAKER_02 8:09

No, it wasn't even, I don't think I even understood orgy, to be honest with you. I don't think that was even, I I have no idea what I saw. No idea.

SPEAKER_00 8:18

Um I'm curious, but you know, I'm trying to remember like as you're going in, like, what did you think you're walking into?

SPEAKER_02 8:23

I had no idea what I was walking into. It was just very YOLO, you know. And um, that's why why and I at that time I didn't drink at all. So like I had two drinks, and I was, you know, pretty tipsy. Uh so we went and I sobered up as the night went on, you know. Um but we went upstairs where like everyone would play, and there was 100% orgies, 100% like like what you would see on TV. Like that is what I saw when I walked upstairs. Um, and I was down, like not necessarily to fuck a stranger, but like I wanted to fuck him and like be watched, or I wanted to.

SPEAKER_00 9:02

So just when you started seeing all the sexiness you were turning on.

SPEAKER_02 9:05

Yeah. And so like I was like, you know, dancing, shaking my booty on him. And like at one point I can remember like trying to unbutton his pants, you know, like we're gonna, I'm gonna give you blowjob or something. And he was like, Yeah, no, we're not doing that. He's like, I'm uncomfortable. So we left. We we left, and honestly, like him and I do not ever remember him and I having a conversation about it.

SPEAKER_03 9:24

After.

SPEAKER_02 9:25

After. I do remember telling some of my like vanilla girlfriends that I went. Like, I I didn't try to hide it. I was like, we went and did this, oh my god, it was so fun. And let me tell you about all this crazy shit I saw, you know. Um, but it so I just stored it away. It's kind of like a cool, fun, like look at these wild and crazy kids, what we did, you know? And and and moved on with my life. And then eventually we broke up and it had nothing to do with that night or anything.

SPEAKER_00 9:52

How old were you, you think this?

SPEAKER_02 9:53

Early 30s.

SPEAKER_00 9:54

Early 30s.

unknown 9:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:55

And um I um so yeah, so I um we broke up. And honestly, like after we broke up, I was just sort of done, you know, with like relationships. I mean, it I really wasn't in a great place personally. I had been in that long-term relationship and it broke up, and then I it was just I was just I needed to just get fucked, you know. Like I didn't need, I didn't need to like be in a relationship. I just needed to like focus on me and like I need somebody to fuck me ever so often.

SPEAKER_00 10:25

Yeah, you know, right, human needs, basic human needs.

SPEAKER_02 10:28

Basically, so I like went back to that memory of going to Menage and I was definitely intrigued. And honestly, I people may be surprised by this, but I was definitely intrigued with being with like experimenting with females, you know. I had had like a little experience when I was younger, but like not much. So I was definitely interested in that, and that is another thing that intrigued me about like threesums and you know, being with like a couple and or whatever. So I started Googling. I found a podcast, no idea, couldn't tell you the podcast. Um, but I found they told me well, they were talking about SLS, which is swinglifestyle.com, being a swinger website. I turned the podcast off, made my profile on the swinger website, threw it up, and like the kind of the rest is history. Uh very quickly. I mean, if you are on any kind of swinger website, you know that single females are not that um common. My inbox was pretty full immediately. I didn't know what a unicorn was, I didn't know about boundaries. I literally had zero knowledge. I didn't even know what the lifestyle that term was. Literally had no idea what I was doing. Um, and you know, I started having experience. My first couple was a disaster. Just I've talked about this a little, but he ended up trying to leave his wife for me. And and and I'm not gonna sugarcoat it. I did not handle myself appropriately. I didn't know what I was doing. I did not understand like the rules that go along with being like a unicorn. I had no idea. He loves like texting me on the side, and I thought I was chosen, you know. I thought I was like, you know, like, oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 12:06

So they didn't even try to explain their any of the couples explained their rules to you?

SPEAKER_02 12:10

Probably, but I just don't know that I is especially after that first one went so terribly bad. I very I had to learn quick, right? You know? So, um, so yeah, I think I started to understand, you know, especially after that one that first terrible experience. I even like took my profile down and then made a new one like a month later.

SPEAKER_00 12:29

It was terrible because he fell in love with you, right?

SPEAKER_02 12:31

Yeah, basically.

SPEAKER_00 12:32

Tried to leave his wife for you.

SPEAKER_02 12:33

And I probably misled him to be honest with you, because I was talking to him on the side, but in no way did I want him to like move in with me or be that was not what I just wanted to get fucked. I just wanted to have hot sex. I was not looking for like a husband at that point. Um, so yeah, so I was having lots of fun experiences with couples. I was traveling and going like places with couples. I mean, honestly living like my best life. I even had like a few singles in the area that you know I would play with. And to be honest with you, I was probably a little too wild. Um, because I was having a hard time like saying no. I was just living my best life, you know, and just kind of absorbing all of these fun experiences um in. So yeah, it was great. Uh I I loved all of it. Um, and then and that's when I came across your profile. But I can let you tell your side of the story, and then we can kind of come back to that if you want to.

SPEAKER_00 13:27

Yeah, so my story is not much different than yours. Uh, I was in a 13-year marriage. I got married at 19. By the time I was 21, I was in Afghanistan and married with two children. Uh, so I started life really young, um, was married for 13 years, and then ended up getting divorced, which was 100% my fault. I was unfaithful. And uh, I mean, there was lots of issues in in my marriage that wasn't just that, but that was kind of the crux of the thing. Uh, so when I got divorced, I kind of had given up. Like I had tried to do the white picket fence and the kids and the dogs and the uh, you know, that Americana life that we're all taught that we're supposed to live. And I I I at least felt like I was genuinely trying. Like I knew I I fucked up and I kind of ruined the whole thing, but I also wasn't happy and and and it wasn't working, and there was issues and problems, and you know, I so and I was like overanalyzing it, like, well, why am I not happy? Like, I'm told, like, why you know, this is a good girl, like you shouldn't I be fulfilled? Why am I trying to text with girls on the side? Like, and so I I kind of have just given up and like this this whole thing is made up, like this is something that we've all the society has made up, it's not real, and I'm not playing this game. I give up on this, right? And so that's what I did. I was like, fuck, fuck marriage, fuck relationships, you know, that's all bullshit. I'm just gonna, you know, live my life and have fun and uh and kind of do it that way. And and so that's the pathway that I was on. Um, I started dating girls, and one of the girls that I had dated, I was actually, you know, I actually date it, was one of the long-term relationships I had.

SPEAKER_02 15:06

Which is funny because you just said you didn't want to date, and then you just this next sentence is like, then I'm dated.

SPEAKER_00 15:11

What you want to do and what you end up doing are not always the same thing.

SPEAKER_02 15:14

Yeah, you know, I think I get it. I'm I'm not judging. I I'm saying, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:18

I was a serial dater because I didn't, I I could not be alone. You know what I mean? I had I got married very, very young.

SPEAKER_02 15:24

You're typic you're a typical male that like if I die, you would probably get married like two months ago.

SPEAKER_00 15:28

Probably and people would hate me, right? They'd be like, Well, how did that how did he even love Lacey? Like, he's got another girl moved in, but I am just not good at being alone. Like it, it's I'm terrible at it. So anyway, I was dating this girl, and it turned out in that uh from talking to her, her and her ex-husband were swingers, they were active in the the swinger lifestyle. And like you, I'd heard of it, but I didn't know what it was. And I thought that was like something that happened in the 70s. Like I didn't know that was something that people were still currently and actively doing. Um, but but uh I've always been a sexual person. I've always been uh, you know, kind of dirty and kinky. And so I was very intrigued by the idea of it. I was very intrigued by group sex and orgies and you know having sex with multiple women. Uh, so uh, you know, she was like, Well, is that something that you'd want to try or do? You know, she's like, I had fun doing it. She's like, I just, you know, so if it's something you want to do, I would try it with you. And I was like, fuck yeah, like let's let's do it. Uh so we ended up on SLS because that was the website her and her ex had used. I made a profile and we met a few couples and had a few experiences, and that was very positive. Um, me and her ended up breaking up for reasons that have nothing to do with the lifestyle. Um, but kind of like you, uh, it the lifestyle was kind of always in the back of my mind, like, this is a cool thing. I want to explore that. And and you know, furthermore, I was still of the mind that I've given up on relationships, and especially then after breaking up with her, I was like, fuck relationships. I'm just gonna go fuck other people's wives and then live my life the way I want to, and have sex with other people's wives, and then those guys can worry about dealing with them.

SPEAKER_02 17:00

Yeah, because you were traveling the country at the time, so you were like popping in and out of cities, and you had made relationships and found these guys who like you would literally go and like fuck the wives and then eat out.

SPEAKER_00 17:12

So I was in the military and I was part of a like a what they call a mobile training team, and so there was like I don't know, a half a dozen to like 10 bases that we would routinely visit and go to every couple months, uh, you know, and we'd be there for a week or two and then we would move on. Uh and so yeah, I I guess in like typical military fashion, like there was couples or girls that I had relationships with in almost all of those cities in and towns. And when I was in town, I would hook up with them, and when I wasn't, I would, you know, on to the next or whatever. Um, and that it was cool. I mean, being a single guy in the lifestyle is like kind of like being a single girl. It's hard. I think people have a you know misunderstanding of it. But once you establish yourself with a few put people or couples, it was awesome. I would go to these people's house, like the husband would have dinner made, his wife would be naked in the hot tub, I would come in, jump in the hot tub with his wife, he'd like bring out dinner, you know, I'd have dinner and fuck his wife, and then we'd then go home. Like, that's the like it doesn't get you know, couples bring me out on their boats and like you know, all this kind of stuff. And it was really nice. And I didn't have to worry about like fighting about money or or you know, like all the stuff that kind of comes with normal relationships. Now, you've spoken about this on the podcast before, though. I'm still not a person that's good at being alone. Yeah. And and at the end of the day, even though you've you're having all these cool experiences, you still do end up alone at the end of the day.

SPEAKER_02 18:36

Yeah, there's been several times that like I can remember like driving home, and like I was equally happy that I didn't have to like I was glad that I wasn't the wife and had to deal with the husband or vice versa. But on the other side of the coin, I was also going home alone. And there were times that sucked, you know? And so, like, especially towards the time that I met you, um that was something that was starting to bother me. I mean, I was loving the sex, but I was also starting to feel the loneliness in it.

SPEAKER_00 19:09

Yeah, yeah. Uh so as the story goes, I just be happened to be traveling in a another city uh for for work with the military. And then this unicorn messages me on SLS and she says, Hey, how are we in the the same age in the same city? Both in the lifestyle, and we don't know each other.

SPEAKER_02 19:31

Which is a pretty good line.

SPEAKER_00 19:32

It's a pretty good line. Yeah. Uh and I think my answer was, well, you don't know me because I'm not from here.

SPEAKER_03 19:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:38

But if you'd like to get to know me, um, I'm open to that.

SPEAKER_03 19:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:42

Uh, I very much felt like you were not real.

SPEAKER_03 19:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:45

Uh so if you know, you've seen Lacey on social media and TikTok, uh, her SLS profile was her body, no face. I think naked, boobs, mirror in a mirror, something like that. Something like that.

SPEAKER_02 19:57

I actually I think I had a white t-shirt on. So it was like, you know, from like my boob, like my chin to like my belly button. So all you could see was my like figure, my pierced nipples through a white t-shirt, you know. So I didn't even have my face on there.

SPEAKER_00 20:11

Right. And you know, young 30s, uh, hot girl messaged me on SLS, and I'm like, this is a dude that probably lives in his mom's basement that is just trying to get dick pictures from me. I said, but you know what? It's probably worth worth the risk. Yeah. Uh so me and you chatted a little bit, and as we chatted, I think we ended up on uh kick.

SPEAKER_03 20:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:29

Uh and as we chatted, it turned out that uh we we weren't gonna meet up the first day, and we weren't gonna meet up the first day that we started talking because we both had dates with other couples that day.

SPEAKER_02 20:39

Which is hilarious that we didn't want to have sex with each other because we had had sex with someone else. Like now that's like I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 20:45

I think for I can't remember why we were saying that. Well, I think it was initially like a logistics thing, like, oh, I'm busy today you're busy today. But then it was like, well, you know, I think I was back in my room at like seven, eight o'clock, nine o'clock at night.

SPEAKER_02 20:57

Yeah, and we were chatting. And so at some point it was brought up that I should come. And so anyway, I went to your hotel room, which is terrible. If any unicorns are listening to this, do not do that. That is scary. Um, but I did it, took a chance, showed up at your hotel room in my pajamas. Uh, no brawlin panties, though, of course. Um, and we didn't have sex, but we hit it off pretty well.

SPEAKER_00 21:21

I mean, like Yeah, I had told you that we weren't gonna have sex because I had we had had sex with other couples that day. And and I don't think it was uh I was more like a I want to give you the the full like I don't want to be, you know, yeah, I want to give you the full experience.

SPEAKER_02 21:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:35

Not like I'm already half worn out and I've already, you know.

SPEAKER_02 21:37

What happened though is like any female, I wanted what I couldn't have. And so he he teased me, he showed me that dick. I got to feel it, and I got to do all the things with it, other than have sex with it, and I was hooked line and sinker.

SPEAKER_00 21:53

Yeah. Yeah, we didn't have sex, but we did everything but penetrated sex.

SPEAKER_02 21:58

So he was in my town for a Week and I basically was with him like every night, or at least most of the nights that week. And I could remember like one of the last nights before you left, and what you didn't know if we'd ever see each other again, you know, like this was totally just a hookup, you know. Um, you were like, You want to go to the movies? Do you remember you wanted to go see Aladdin? It was like when Aladdin was like the the live action he was like, Do you want to go to the movies or do you want to have sex? And I chose sex. But that was basically like our week. I mean, we had a lot of really hot, fun sex, and um I don't think that week we'd ever left the hotel room though.

SPEAKER_00 22:42

No, we didn't go out to eat, we didn't go out to dinner.

SPEAKER_02 22:44

And I think that's why like the last night you were like the last night or so, you're like, Do you want to go do something? I think you were trying to be like a gentleman.

SPEAKER_03 22:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:51

Um, and I was like, no, thank you. Take me down, please, daddy, because I know you're leaving. And I didn't think I'd ever see him again. I mean, like, to be fair, you did come to my city quite often.

SPEAKER_03 23:01

Right.

SPEAKER_02 23:01

So, like, there was a chance that I could see him again. But realistically, I did not know what that looked like. I even stayed the night with you, like once or twice that week. And you even told me not to rob you. Like, because you left.

SPEAKER_00 23:13

You spent the night the first night.

SPEAKER_02 23:14

Oh, did I?

SPEAKER_00 23:15

Yes. The first night you spent the night. And that's the night I said I left to go to work. And I like, you know, I had all my stuff and computers and stuff. I'm like, you better not. Half joking, but a little bit like I don't know you that well.

SPEAKER_02 23:27

Like, and and to be fair, I had no idea he was in the military.

SPEAKER_00 23:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:30

At that point.

SPEAKER_00 23:31

He probably did when I left. Oh no, I was wearing civilian clothes.

SPEAKER_02 23:34

Yeah. Um, I figured it out that week, but yeah, I had no idea. Okay, so that was our first time.

SPEAKER_00 23:39

You went through my wallet and all kinds of stuff when I was taking a shower.

SPEAKER_02 23:42

Don't I did it in front of you because I was trying to figure out your name because you wouldn't tell me your name.

SPEAKER_00 23:46

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 23:47

Anyway, so that was our first week together, and there was never any intentions of being in a relationship, of dating, of being married. There was that was not on our radar at that point. We just had really hot sex, and so that was it. And so you left and you went home and you did you went back to your life, and I went back to mine, and we started communicating. Um, and it started with kick. Hold on, hold on. It started with kick. And he likes to say that like I immediately, I think he kind of made because we told the story so many now, he kind of makes it out like I immediately was trying to like wife him up, you know. And that is honestly not the truth. It took probably about two months of us just becoming friends for me to realize, hey, I actually kind of like this guy, but not out the back. Now, I like a challenge. Yeah, so let don't let me like I'm not gonna deny that. So, like, I you know, we would chat on kit because that's what you did back then. And then I'm like, hey, can I why don't we just text? Like, this is ridiculous. Why are we using kick?

SPEAKER_00 24:53

I think you went to Facebook first. Oh, did I go to Facebook?

SPEAKER_02 24:55

So I was like, can we be Facebook friends? Took me forever to convince him to be my Facebook friends, and then finally I got his phone number and we chatted. And and I'll let you tell the story of how we chatted because I think that's a good story.

SPEAKER_00 25:06

Yeah. So I lived, um, the truth is I lived in a uh off-grid cabin, uh, a 350 square foot off-grid cabin. Because I was part of this mobile training team, I was only home maybe one week in a month. So, you know, I had been living in a normal, you know, housing development. And at some point, I'm like, this is stupid for me to spend all this money. So I went and paid cash and bought an off-grid cabin, and I lived in that for the remainder of this time. I was in uh it was Virginia. But uh, so because I lived so remote, it was a good hour, like hour, 10, 15 minutes spending on traffic ride. I had to work every day. Um, and so I would call Lacey on my way to work and we would just chat. And again, because there was no plan for us to be in a relationship, those chats were pretty were chats that I'd never had with a, you know, it wasn't I'm trying to convince you that I'm the man and that you should date me and that, you know, I'm this cool guy. It was actually a lot of the opposite. I think I shared a lot about um the struggles I had in my marriage, and I think I shared a lot about the struggles I'd had with dating. Uh, I think I I, you know, I shared my concerns about marriage and my concerns about monogamy, you know.

SPEAKER_02 26:17

I can't remember talking to you like not like if I was married to you, but like if I was to ever be married, what would that look like? You know, like what it, you know, and I I was actually in counseling at the time and having these conversations with my counselor, you know, I was like trying to like break through like all of these like stigmas that like we're taught, you know, you're taught you get you grow up, you get married, you have kids, you have a dog, you work, you retire, you know, like all of these things. And like during this time period, I was realizing that like maybe what we were taught isn't the only option, you know. So like we would have some really in-depth conversations of like what that looked like. And slowly, I think we kind of fell for each other simultaneously. I think I probably fell for you quicker.

SPEAKER_00 27:04

I think we probably fought fell for each other simultaneously. I think I was just more of the the realist. Yeah. And I think you didn't give a fuck uh about the reality. You were just determined that you were gonna make you were gonna find a way to make it work.

SPEAKER_02 27:19

I had a strong feeling about you, and the way I felt was if this is meant to be, we'll figure it out. And you were very like logistical. You were like, you live 600 miles away, you know, and we both had to and that's that's probably like describes our relationship to a T.

SPEAKER_00 27:36

Yeah. Where I'm like, okay, if this is gonna work, we gotta figure out how it's gonna work. And you're just like, no, it's gonna work. It's gonna work, and that drives me crazy. It's like something you can't just say something and that's how like we gotta figure this out.

SPEAKER_02 27:46

You're like, something about you, like there was something there that I cannot put my finger on, but there was definitely something there that I knew I I saw the possibility. Like, if we can get this to work, it's gonna be fucking awesome, you know? And so, you know, it probably took four or five months, but at some point we decided fuck it, let's try. Um, and as, you know, like leading up to that, I found that like I was playing with others less because I was so enamored with you. You know, we were texting and calling, and I was honestly falling in love with you long distance, but falling in love with you. So my priority was not so much other people, it was mainly you. And so, like a typical female, I think I was pulling back from others while I was like giving you more. And you were the opposite. You were, well, you were giving me a lot, but you were still, you were like, I still gotta come.

unknown 28:43

Right.

SPEAKER_00 28:44

Listen, I'm a man, I didn't have needs. Like, we can talk and chat and and and share all this emotional connection all we want, but at the end of the day, um, I'm still trying to fuck. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:54

So we definitely struggled with that. Um, we've been very clear, like with the podcast about that in the beginning, it was it was very hard for me because I think I was dealing with some internal struggles because I knew that you could have emotionless sex, you know. I knew that like he was just hooking up with these girls because he needed to like fulfill his needs. I knew all of that, like in my brain, but like my heart would like crush every time.

SPEAKER_00 29:24

Well, you probably worried about like, well, what if it becomes more? What if they develop feeling like that?

SPEAKER_02 29:29

Yeah, I guess because we had not been like where other couples had been together for 20 years and then decided to start sharing. We did not have like a foundation built. So I didn't know, you know, like I for all I knew, you were telling this other bitch the same thing, you know. I had no, I had no idea because we just really hadn't developed that trust yet.

SPEAKER_03 29:45

Right.

SPEAKER_02 29:46

Um, so we definitely struggled in the beginning to kind of find our way. We knew we wanted to be swingers, we knew that that was something that if we were gonna make this work, that that was a non-negotiable. But it was a matter of like, let's figure out how to make that work. So, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:02

All right. So I think now's the perfect time to take a little break and hear from the partners and sponsors of the Swing Nation podcast. And then on the back side, we'll tell you Um, did we make it work? Did Dan and Lacey figure out how to make this long distance really? I mean, I don't want to spoil it, right? So you're gonna have to stay tuned to the back side of the break to find out what happens next. We'll be right back, guys. Lacey, people are always asking, how do we get to a party or an event that you guys are hosting? Like, how do we find these things? Where did they exist?

SPEAKER_02 30:40

Yeah, because we're pretty open about where we're gonna be. So if you want to find these places, you need to check out swingers.net.

SPEAKER_00 30:49

Right. So you can go to swingersight.net, sign up for a profile. Most of our friends, most of the people that are attending our events, all are on there and have profiles. So you can message them, link up with them before a party, get to know some people. Uh, please become a diamond member. Okay. So this is the way that we keep are able to throw events. There it's a way we're able to have staff. Uh, really, it's the the community that keeps those memberships on swingersciety.net that really keep this whole thing running. Yes. Um, if you're a diamond member, it gets you early access to tickets. Uh-huh. So you can get those VIP tickets in the clubs and you know those preferred rooms at a place like Secrets. Um, our Diamond members usually grab all that up. So if that's something that you're interested in, you definitely want to become a diamond member. Or if you just want to support us, support what we're doing uh and help us pay our staff, please go sign up and be a diamond member. Yes. It's super helpful for us. Uh and you can do that by going to swingersociety.net.

SPEAKER_02 31:44

Correct.

SPEAKER_00 31:44

Uh, and sign up today. Hopefully, you come become part of our community, and we hope to see you at a future event.

SPEAKER_02 31:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:50

Thanks, guys.

SPEAKER_02 31:52

Dan, if someone is just recently joining the lifestyle and they don't really know where to begin, what do you recommend?

SPEAKER_00 31:59

Well, the lifestyle, you know, it's 2025. And people are on the internet. They are. And there just so happens to be lifestyle websites that are dedicated to people connecting in the lifestyle. Yes. SDC happens to be one of our favorites. Over three million users. You can find people in your area, you can find clubs, you can find parties. All of it is right on SDC. Um, and you can get a huge discount by signing up with us.

SPEAKER_02 32:26

You can.

SPEAKER_00 32:27

So all you got to do is if you're looking for lifestyle people in your area, if you're looking for the clubs, if you're looking for the parties, go to theswing nation.info. Recommended apps and products, scroll down to the SDC icon. We'll give you a free trial. Yeah. You can check them out. You can see who's in your area. You can see if it's uh if it's the app for you, uh, all completely risk-free. Yes. So just head on over to theswing nation.info and get signed up for STC today. One. All right, guys, welcome back. Welcome back. Thank you for listening to our sponsors. We love our sponsors.

SPEAKER_03 32:58

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 32:58

All right. So when we left you, we were stuck in this living 600 miles apart from each other, uh, wanting to still be in an open relationship and be able to have sex with other people, but falling in love with each other and then that creating emotional drama as we still were having relationships with other people, mostly me, but still you a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 33:19

Yeah, I'm still having I was definitely having conversations and you know with people. I just wasn't fucking as often as you, I don't think. So we've been here, like we've been discussing the timeline because it's a little blurry, so we're gonna be completely transparent. So at some point, if we've told the story and we told it at a different version, that's why. But it's all the same story, it just we're not sure. We're not sure when the first full swap happened.

SPEAKER_03 33:41

Right.

SPEAKER_02 33:41

We will say though, at some point I looked at you and was like, okay, if we're gonna make this work, we're gonna have to like, I'm gonna, we're gonna have to figure us out first. I'm not saying long term, but I mean, we just needed to like build a at least a small foundation, you know, so that way there was some trust there. And so that's kind of what we did. We took about a month or two off of swinging.

SPEAKER_00 34:05

Well, you came to visit. That's really where we made that decision.

SPEAKER_02 34:08

So yeah, I came to visit and we made, you know, we were just like, okay, we're gonna like we just were like, okay, we're gonna do it.

SPEAKER_00 34:13

So Lacey leaves her nice southern town, right, where she lives, drives the 600 miles to come visit me for the first time in an off-grid cabin that has no um electricity, it's solar powered, it has no running, well, it had running water, but no, it had a composting toilet, uh, and you had no cell phone signal. Yes. So you it's about a 30-minute drive from cell phone signal, maybe 45 minutes, 30 minutes from where you have cell phone signal till you get to the cabin. Yeah. So what did you tell your mom? Like, what did you tell people where you were going?

SPEAKER_02 34:49

So I called my mom and I was like, I'm doing this, I'm leaving, I'm going to visit this guy that I met. I know you think I'm crazy, but it's just something I have to do. And honestly, the entire drive from here to there, I felt alive for the first time ever. Does that make sense? Like, I had always done like the kind of the right thing and the safe thing. I had never really like taken a chance. And I felt like me getting in the car and driving to you was me taking that chance. Um, I was scared and happy and freaked out all at the same time. I'm like, this this motherfucker could kill me on the side of the road and and bury me in these woods and nobody will ever find me, you know. But like I did make sure that people knew where I was going and had my location and stuff like that. So I'll obviously was at least smart, but like it was very much of like a leap of faith to come to you. Um, I actually I enjoyed the cabin, believe it or not. I a lot of people were like, I don't know how you did it. It was kind of like we're like, imagine going to like it's like lamping. Yeah, it is. I mean, like we had some internet, it was very slow. I had satellite internet, yeah. You had every DVD under the sun, so we could watch movies and you know, we we had a lot of sex.

SPEAKER_00 36:03

We the cabin had metal roofs when it rained, you could hear the there's all kinds of wineries and like um all around.

SPEAKER_02 36:10

We had like great brunch. I mean, we just we walked in the woods. It was it honestly, it was lovely, and I like that's a magical time when I think back to it. So um so yeah, so yeah, that's kind of like where it started. And at that point, we kind of both knew that okay.

SPEAKER_00 36:27

Well, and that's when we had the conversation, I I think is we you know, we spent the whole weekend again fucking. Uh and then you know, it was very much a like, okay, obviously we've been doing this for months now. This is amazing. What do we got to do to get make this work?

SPEAKER_02 36:41

Yeah, and so at that point, that's when we decided to take the a couple months to figure us out.

SPEAKER_00 36:48

So stop seeing your side pieces, stop, you know, not dating, but you know, stop. You know, we both had people that we were regularly hooking up with.

SPEAKER_02 36:56

Uh and it kind of worked out that the one let's just pause all that. Yeah, well, I think like the one you mainly were fucking was leaving to move to like Colorado or something. So like I think you had one last hurrah after this because I was like, I was like not gonna let you like fucker on her to go party night, you know. Like, um, so you did do that, but then after that, and then that kind of it all kind of again, everything just kind of worked out, you know. And so, and so yeah, so that would that's and that's kind of how we came to be. That's our full story, right?

SPEAKER_00 37:26

So at this, so you somewhere in there we stop um swinging and and stuff with other people, uh, and then we we kind of just focused on our relationship, and it wasn't long. What 60 days, 90 days?

SPEAKER_02 37:36

I was thinking it was like 45, yeah, yeah, maybe 60.

SPEAKER_00 37:39

Uh and then you know in that time, Lacey kind of had it adjusted her her parenting plan and stuff like that. So she was doing week on, week off. Uh, the weeks that she didn't have her son, she'd actually come up to Virginia and spend the whole week with me in the cabin. Like I said, we did have she was working remote. It was kind of um it was pre-COVID, but it was pre-COVID, but we still were working remote, yeah. So she could work right from the cabin, even though the internet was terrible.

SPEAKER_02 38:02

Um I worked in the McDonald's parking lot down the road. Several times, yeah. Several times, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:07

Um and then we did that for for a while.

SPEAKER_02 38:10

Yeah. So at some point, that's kind of when the first swap came. And so I was coming to visit you, and you were like, Hey, I've been chatting with this couple, or at least they've like messed up. I had been. Like at this point, we had not made like a joint account or anything like that, like on SLS. This is very early on. And um, you're like, I met this couple online, they were had asked if I wanted to hang out this weekend. I thought I would like, what do you think? You know, like you were kind of like feeling me out, right? And I was like, Yeah, let's do it. Why not? You know, I didn't know that if we were gonna fuck them or not. I just I was down for fun, you know. Um, and in hindsight, at the time it didn't bother me that I was like the added on, you know, like they were looking for a bull, right? Clearly, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:00

And this I don't even know if I had thought about this, right? Because I was like, oh, they're a hot couple, we're a hot couple, like we'll just have a full swap.

SPEAKER_02 39:06

What I because we were so new to the lifestyle, we just didn't understand that, like, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:11

What so what I yeah, like what you're saying, what we really didn't understand is this couple is a hot wife couple, yeah, like stag vixen type.

SPEAKER_02 39:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:18

Now, did they do full swaps? Yeah. Was that like their dynamic? No, no, so you know, the difference between a full swap couple and a and a hot wife couple is that hot wife couple, it's really primarily about her. It's primarily about her experience. And sometimes with those couples, they might not be used to sharing that spotlight or that experience with another female. Yeah, right. She's used to it being the experiences being all about her.

SPEAKER_02 39:46

Yeah. And on the flip side, I was a unicorn. I was used to it kind of being all about me. You know, I came in, I was a shiny, fun toy that they got to play with for the night, and then I hit the road the next day. So that had been basically my entire lifestyle experience. I had never full swapped, I had never watched somebody I loved fuck somebody. I we literally did not know what we were getting ourselves in. You asked me, and I just very quickly were like, yeah, okay, let's do it.

SPEAKER_00 40:14

Right.

SPEAKER_02 40:14

We did not put a whole lot of thought.

SPEAKER_00 40:16

Right. We missed all those, we didn't think anything about any of those kind of red flags.

SPEAKER_02 40:20

And well, honestly, we didn't have really any clear boundaries. We we were literally just blind.

SPEAKER_00 40:25

Yeah, I think we maybe talked about like condoms and stuff like that, but that was about it. Like, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:29

So we met them at a bar um and had a few drinks and stuff. And she was adorable. I didn't was not overly attracted to him. I'm not gonna lie. Was he nice? Yes. I mean, was he ugly? No. He was not an ugly man, but he just wasn't like if I had to pick out of five guys, he probably wouldn't have been my number one pick. Maybe third. No. But he was he was not honestly, I liked him better in person than I did in the pictures that you showed me. He was nice and funny, and you know, it definitely made up for where he was lacking in his like where I was attracted to him. And I can remember you went to the bathroom or I went to the bathroom. Somebody went to the bathroom and somebody texted the other. Like, what are you thinking? Well, and true, I don't want to take one for the team. I mean, like, I was well, I guess that's not the true fashion. I actually was going to. I was like, I didn't want to, I didn't, I didn't want to be that girl. I was like, we were swingers, like we can do this. Like, I, you know, I didn't want to be that girl, you know? I didn't want so I was like, yeah, okay, let's do it. You know, like even though I should have really trusted my gut, and the truth was I was just not into him. Not like I should have then. You know, did I find him way more attractive once I got to know him? Yes. But like I was not like You weren't excited about it. That pussy wasn't like dripping, waiting for him. Even though he was a nice guy.

SPEAKER_00 41:57

Yeah, I think I think I had got up and went to the bathroom and shot you a text and said, Hey, what do you what do you think?

SPEAKER_02 42:02

Which was the right thing to do.

SPEAKER_00 42:03

I think they were like, Hey, you guys should come back to our our we got a hot tub, you guys should come back to our house, and you know, what are you thinking? And we're like, oh yeah, maybe, yeah, maybe. And so I think I got up and was like, Oh, I gotta go to the bathroom. I shot Lazy a text. What are you thinking?

SPEAKER_02 42:16

You did the right thing. I should have been the one to be like, uh, but I just didn't want to like, I don't know. I was trying to be cool, right?

SPEAKER_00 42:22

You know, so I think you shot me back, like, yeah, I'm good, or yeah, let's go, let's, let's go, or let's try it.

SPEAKER_02 42:27

So we did.

SPEAKER_00 42:27

Right.

SPEAKER_02 42:27

So we loaded up, we they actually drove us to their house, which was and we went to their house because again, we were like an hour away because we went to the major city.

SPEAKER_00 42:36

Yeah, and I think we got a I think we had a hotel though in that city.

SPEAKER_02 42:39

Oh, really?

SPEAKER_00 42:39

I think if I remember because I think we ended up Uber then Ubering back to our hotel room and spending the night.

SPEAKER_02 42:43

Yeah, okay. I don't remember that part.

SPEAKER_00 42:45

Because for some reason, like, why did I think we were drinking and that's why, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 42:48

Yeah. So we went to their house, they had a lovely house. They obviously were wealthy. Um, they had a like a brand new hot, very swinger-esque, brand new hot tub, brand new titties, like the whole, the whole thing. Um, and yeah, like you said in the beginning, I I it was all about her and her, and I didn't know quite how to handle that. I I was struggling with that. Um, and I didn't know how to verbalize that or even communicate that, to be honest with you. I didn't I didn't quite understand what was happening, but I knew I wasn't like Well, and we were all drinking.

SPEAKER_00 43:25

So that that probably is a valid point as well. So, like we're drinking at the bar, right? And then we make the decision. But I wasn't drunk. No, you were drunk, no. And then we make that, but you were probably were you tipsy, you think?

SPEAKER_02 43:37

Maybe, but I don't remember like being super tipsy or anything.

SPEAKER_00 43:40

They definitely were, yeah. I think I probably was. Uh, and then we go back to the hotel or the hot tub, and then we're continuing to drink, right? Yeah, uh, and then I don't know how much you had to drink, but I think me and at least the couple were definitely not not drunk, not like we could walk, we could, we aren't slurring words, but we were Under the influence of alcohol.

SPEAKER_02 44:01

I remember it differently. I don't really even remember anybody being No. No. But I mean, I that's not saying that I'm just not remembering correctly because it's been a while.

SPEAKER_00 44:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:10

So at some point, I can remember like you no, I didn't want you to make the move to like go to the room because I just wasn't feeling well.

SPEAKER_00 44:17

There was some stuff, but there was some make it out and stuff in the hot tub, right? Like some touching.

SPEAKER_02 44:21

That like we needed to move this along, you know. And so at some point it happened. We moved.

SPEAKER_00 44:27

And I don't remember if I don't think it was me. I think it might have been him that was like maybe.

SPEAKER_02 44:31

Um, and honestly, by that point, I just I was over her. I was over her. She, not that I was a big girl by any means, but like she was probably like a hundred, hundred and fifteen pounds, you know, and I was not. And she like it was kind of her personality. She was very much like, I am so tiny. All the boys want to pick me up. Um, she kept saying she called herself like fun size, like mini.

SPEAKER_00 44:59

Uh so why was that bothering?

SPEAKER_02 45:01

Maybe that it was maybe it was an insecurity of mine because she was definitely smaller than me. I I was not overweight. Let me make that super clear. I was not overweight, but for some reason, the fact that she just kept um implying her size of how small she was, like it just I don't know why, but I'm like, okay, bitch, we get it. You know, you're you're a tiny little thing, and I'm not as tiny as you, you know. I don't know why, but she just kept on, and I just became became more irritated and more irritated. And but I was I was trying, like I was not visual, like visually getting pissed off. I was like, I was definitely hiding it.

SPEAKER_00 45:40

When this is like you mean you don't know each other that well, so I'm like oblivious. Yeah, I think everything is cool. I'm having a great time. I think everything is awesome.

SPEAKER_02 45:46

And I was trying to make you feel like it was because I did not, I wanted to be like the cool girl.

SPEAKER_00 45:51

Where nowadays, if that same thing had happened, I would know instantly. Yeah, I would know instantly that Lacey was annoyed.

SPEAKER_02 45:57

If I'm not feeling it, I'd be like, hey, we gotta go. But like at the time, I didn't know, and I wanted to be cool. I wanted you to think that like I was like this ultimate swinger, you know. So anyway, we decided to start playing. Um it was a shit show.

SPEAKER_00 46:12

Yeah, so we go back to their bedroom and we decided to start playing. My dick's not working. And here's this is crazy to me, right? So up until this point, I had never taken Viagra in my life ever, right? I'm what, mid-30s, young 30s. I'm going and seeing random couples just showing up on their doorstep, going and fucking their wife, fucking in hot tubs. Uh, you know, I had never ever one time in my life had a struggle with an erection. So when we get back to that room and I can't get a heart on, I'm like, what the fuck is going on? Yeah. And it's it's fucking with my head. Um, because it's like, I'm trying to impress you. Here's this hot girl that I I want to fuck. I want to fuck you, I want to fuck her. This is like, this is like the dream come true, right?

SPEAKER_02 46:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 46:58

Uh, and it's not working.

SPEAKER_02 47:00

No. And the guy, honestly, he he wasn't it wasn't working for him really either. Obviously, because he probably wasn't into me, and not because there was anything wrong with me, because that was not their dynamic. You know, they were very, he was very much he gets turned on watching his wife get dicked down, you know. And so like he had a cock ring on. I had never seen a cock ring in real life, you know. And then like he gave you one, and then at some point No, no, he gave me a Viagram. Well, it gave you both, yeah. So, I mean, like, I it was kind of I think at one point I fell off the bed. Like, I not because I was drunk, I think I just didn't realize that I was on the edge and I slid off. I don't know. Maybe I was drunk, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 47:39

It was just an ultimate, like it was just right, it was not so both guys are struggling to get hard. I think he did get hard. I think I there was sex that happened. They gave me a Viagra. I think the once the Viagra started kicking in, I think my dick then got hard. And then I think I started to I can't remember exactly, but you got upset at some point.

SPEAKER_02 47:58

Yeah, I got upset at the end once it was over and we like put on our clothes and stuff, because like I think I was just done. Like I was not um, like there wasn't like something that happened. I just think I had to be honest with you, up until that point, I had not had a guy not be able to get hard with me in the lifestyle, you know. I I had never experienced that. So here I am thinking, this girl is tiny, I'm a big whale, her husband doesn't like me, he can't get hard. My husband, I mean, my boyfriend can't get hard. You know, I was just like, what the fuck are we doing? You know, and and I honestly I I was over her. Yeah, I was over her, and so at some point I just I walked away, I just went to the room, and I think you wanted to stay the night. I think they let it, they were like, you can say that or something. And I was like, no.

SPEAKER_00 48:44

We're out of here.

SPEAKER_02 48:45

We're like, this is me getting my my backbone, you know. I'm like, I'm done. I put my clothes on and I literally went and stood by the front door. I was like, um, and I didn't say anything, I didn't make a scene, I didn't throw a fit.

SPEAKER_00 48:57

I just kept but it was like palatable though. Like I think people knew it's like Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 49:00

Like I didn't, but I just want to make it clear. I wasn't like No, you didn't throw a fit, you didn't yell at anybody. I was just very much in danger. Yeah, you know, so I was just like, we need to let's go, you know, and so we left.

SPEAKER_00 49:10

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 49:11

And I think we were like in a fight before we got in the car. Do you feel like we fought?

SPEAKER_00 49:15

I don't, no, I don't, maybe a little bit, but I don't rem. I just I was confused. I can remember being like, I don't what what happened? Like, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 49:22

But like, but at the same time, why were you so confused? That was a fucking shit show.

SPEAKER_00 49:26

Yeah, it was a shit show.

SPEAKER_02 49:28

I was just like, get me the fuck out of these people's house. That's kind of where I was. I was like, what just happened? I'm usually this shiny toy, and now I'm like I'm like the last person everybody wants to fuck, and then nobody can get hard. You know, I was just like, what is what is life? Like, what am I doing? You know, like I was just second guessing everything. And so we were just kind of like, we kind of were like in shock when we got in the car. Like, what the fuck just happened?

SPEAKER_00 49:55

Right. Well, if you think about it, you know, from both our perspective, you know, I had probably had a few bad experiences in the lifestyle, and it was mostly like people catfishing me or you know, whatever that kind of stuff. Uh, but this was like the first time this hadn't worked, you know what I mean? I was like, what I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 50:12

And like we had kind of changed our whole lives to be together, and like so. I'm like, What are we doing? Is this like even gonna work?

SPEAKER_00 50:20

You know, did we break it?

SPEAKER_02 50:22

Like we can we be swingers, you know? And I'm like, and and then you're like, I don't understand. I've never, my dick's never not working, you know. It just it was a lot of emotion. And to be honest with you, we weren't really sure how to communicate. We don't, I don't think I even really understood what was bothering me at the time. I just knew I had to get the fuck out of there. Like I had to go, we had to go. Um, so that they they text you like the next day or something, didn't they?

SPEAKER_00 50:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 50:51

And what'd they say?

SPEAKER_00 50:52

I I have no idea. I don't remember. Probably like.

SPEAKER_02 50:53

But then weren't they didn't they say like, is she okay or something like that? Yeah. What'd you say? You have any idea what you said?

SPEAKER_00 51:00

I I don't remember no. But you just made it. I probably like, oh, you know, we were just tired, and uh, you know, it was our first time as a couple with another couple, you know, whatever, something like that, probably.

SPEAKER_02 51:11

Um, yeah, so that I mean, that was our first experience. It was not great. Um, but we, I mean, I think we rallied the next, I think it was fine. That was really our only well, it took a while.

SPEAKER_00 51:23

So I think you know, we ended up going to a couple a club, we ended up going to a hotel takeover, and it was like the first three or four times me and you tried to swing together, I could not get an erection. Yeah, and then you were like, You need to go get Viagra. And I was like, I don't need Viagra, and then you were like, You need to go get Viagra.

SPEAKER_02 51:41

And and so I actually scheduled an appointment with a military doctor because this is before we knew about shameless care and all these other places, like we had no idea that you could get that stuff online.

SPEAKER_00 51:50

And I went to a military doctor in that case. I made him, I was like, Looked me in the face and was like, You can't get an erection? And I was like, No. And he's like, Well, you know, I got all your blood work and everything, everything looks, you know, good. And he's like, he's like, you know, does it get hard when you jerk off? And I was like, Yeah, and I think I blamed it. I'm like, well, listen, I you know, I I was married for 13 years, you know, and I got divorced, and I'm just trying to get back out there, and I'm a little he's like, Oh, well, it's probably more of a mental thing than it is a physical thing. He's like, but these should help with that as well. And he, you know, so he ended up, he gave me a prescription of violence.

SPEAKER_02 52:25

And I was like building you up as we were like going in. I was like, I was texting like you got me.

SPEAKER_00 52:29

But he almost was like, You don't have a problem. Like, yeah, he almost like I felt like he almost wanted to tell me no, like yeah, well, I'm sure he did, but you don't have to do that.

SPEAKER_02 52:38

People, you can use shameless care and get it shipped directly to your house. Um, but yeah, so that that was our first experience.

SPEAKER_00 52:46

That was the most awkward conversation I've ever had in my life with a doctor. One of one of those, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 52:51

Um, so just like we never saw that couple again. No. Um, they did, they would randomly message us occasionally. Um, and then uh so and then one time the guy had messaged me on the side, and you were in the bed with me. We were together, and I was like, why? It was late, like late, late. Almost like his wife was asleep, or maybe she was out with some, I don't know. And then like it had been then like somehow we got back in the group message, and he almost acted like he didn't talk to me. And it was, I do remember that being a little weird, yeah. But like he wasn't inappropriate, it was just I don't know their dynamic. It was just kind of odd that he was messaging me on the side and then pretended like we didn't. He's like, we hadn't talked to y'all in forever. I'm like, wait, what? We just talked so, but funny story, years later, after the podcast had came out, um, after, but really not as big as things are now, but maybe like two years in, they actually messaged us. I don't remember where, but they found us again and were like, what the fuck? Y'all are famous.

SPEAKER_03 54:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 54:01

Um, so maybe they maybe they listened to this. Who knows? Um, so I will say that I'm sorry if they hear if they um because I did not handle myself appropriately. I was a baby.

SPEAKER_00 54:12

They were actually a pretty cool couple.

SPEAKER_02 54:14

They actually were a really cool couple.

SPEAKER_00 54:15

Um I think we could probably be friends with them now if we still need them.

SPEAKER_02 54:18

Sure. I was in a brand new relationship that I was did not really have any security in and was sort of just going through the motions and knew we wanted to be swingers. So I'm by God, we're gonna go fuck somebody, you know, together. So if I could redo that, I think it would be a lot. I would just let you dick her down and give me a wand in the corner. I I'm good. I just I didn't know that then, you know, I hadn't learned. Yeah, I had you know, so it like I feel like we've come so far that I would so many things I would change um about that. But you know, you live and learn, you gotta go through the bad things to see the good. So it happened.

SPEAKER_00 54:56

Yeah, and then uh, you know, eventually I got Viagra and then uh those problems stopped as well. Yeah. Uh and you know, here we are. Yeah, now I got Tri-Mex and good luck.

SPEAKER_02 55:05

I know.

SPEAKER_00 55:06

Good luck uh with that. Yeah. So it's been it's been quite the journey. Yeah, but uh definitely our first full swap was a giant uh mess. Yeah, it was.

SPEAKER_02 55:15

So if yours is a mess, just know that it's you can you too can overcome it. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 55:21

And I think well, I mean, I what's the biggest thing that was a mess? Probably the the misalignment was probably the big the fact that they were a hot wife couple and we were looking for more of a full swap. It's almost like they were a hot wife couple and you were almost used to being a unicorn slash hot wife. You know what I mean? Like so like it just didn't work, you know. No, it didn't. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 55:41

But that's why you talk about these things, you know? But like again, you don't know until you know, you know, you almost have to like figure it out and fuck up a little to kind of you know realize that.

SPEAKER_00 55:51

Well, I and I bet like you're you're probably much more secure now than you were then. Oh yeah. So like her comments about oh, I'm so little, it probably wouldn't even phase you now.

SPEAKER_02 55:58

No, I mean like would I be like, okay, she's a little much, maybe, but I probably wouldn't like let it bother me.

SPEAKER_03 56:06

You know, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 56:06

Like, cause like I think now we see so many types of people, and they're just people that are like that, you know, and that's okay. Like, I people could probably say the same about me that like I am, I like to be the star of the show, and you know, like I mean there's things that people can criticize me about, and so I think we all have our things, but like I'm not gonna let it like upset me and affect my night. Exactly. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 56:29

All right. Well, that wraps up that episode. Uh, thanks for listening. Uh it's about our full first swap. Uh hopefully if you're going through that or you're or you're looking to have your full I think expectations should be, you know. I think people going into this lifestyle think it's all orgies and rainbows and hard dicks and squirting and coming. When reality you have almost as just as many nights of people not getting hard and nobody getting fucked um as you do that amazing.

SPEAKER_02 57:00

Especially in the beginning while you're trying to navigate how to like handle all that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 57:04

And a lot of it is I think now we have a much higher percentile of success, but it's because we have friend groups that we are comfortable with and people we know we can rely on.

SPEAKER_02 57:14

Well, we also can curate our own experiences. So, like, for instance, had we been in this situation now, I'd be like, babe, go fuck the shit out of her. Let me watch. And I will sit right in that cuck chair with my wand and have the best night. So it's all about like what we do with the situation that we're giving, you know?

SPEAKER_00 57:31

So 100%. All right. Uh, so I don't even know. This is gonna come out while we're in Hito. Uh so if you don't know, we're in uh uh Jamaica right now, uh on the beach somewhere. Lacey's probably got her boobs out. I'm not even getting my dick sucked. We're having an amazing time in Jamaica. Uh, if you'd like to come to Hito with us, tickets for next year just went on sale like today, as we're as we're recording. Yeah. So it'll definitely be on sale as you're hearing this. Um we go the last week of July. Do you have the exact one? I'm looking it up. Uh so it's the last week of July every single year, and it's called Young Lifestyle Week. Um, but there is no age bracket, right? And it's called Young Lifestyle Week because it's a younger crowd, but it's also young energy. Uh, you know, we bring in some DJs, we're playing it's not all EDM music, it's top 40 EDM music, but um, you know it's definitely young at heart.

SPEAKER_02 58:27

So do with that what you will.

SPEAKER_00 58:28

We've been to HETO before, and like people barely even go to the club. Yeah, we have pack club nights this week. Like it's high energy.

SPEAKER_02 58:34

You're gonna see people from their 20s, 60s, 70s. There's gonna be people of all ages. So young at heart is the best way to describe it. The dates are July 21st. I'm sorry, July 24th through July 31st of next year, 2027. Um, there is payment plan. So if you go ahead and book it now, you can literally pay on it all year long, and it definitely makes it a lot easier. And then, of course, you could book your flights, you know, closer to time. Um, it sells out usually by April, ish, March, April. And then last I know last year there was 35 couples on the wait list. I don't know what the wait list was this year, but I do know that there was one. Um, so yeah, so if you are if you're thinking about HETO and that's something that you want to do, go and look into it. Go, it's a really fun week. Right. Party marks air. We also co-host it with my frisky business.

SPEAKER_00 59:24

Yeah, and it's getting that week is getting bigger and bigger every year, so it's gonna sell out probably faster and faster. So if it, you know, if it's something you're thinking about, definitely go look at it. Uh, if you can make the down uh deposit for the down payment for next year, please do that. Hold your spot. Uh we're we're we're making our I think I don't know if we've made ours yet, but we're yeah, like literally we picked our room today for next year.

SPEAKER_02 59:43

And we haven't even like as we're recording this, we've not left for this year. So that's kind of where we are. So we would love to have you. Honestly, if you would like to get to know us, this is the best place to do that. We are much more relaxed, doesn't require a lot of from us as far as work. We literally hang out in the nude pool pretty much every single day with all of you, and it is a lot of fun. We look forward to it. It's probably our most relaxing trip that we take on every year. So um, yeah, well, hopefully you'll be there next year.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:16

Yep. And then a quick reminder: Naughty New Orleans is on sale as well. So if you're wanting to go to Naughty, especially if you're wanting to stay in the Astor Hotel, now's the time to uh put a down payment on that as well. Uh, and then we have Electric Pleasures. Secrets is sold out in September. Electric Pleasures is in October. So if you're looking for uh an event, a Halloween event, we're gonna be going to Chattanooga, Tennessee, and doing Electric Pleasures. Uh, that is a music festival, so it's like EDM type music, uh, but it's lifestyle friendly, so there is uh playrooms and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:48

Yeah, and that's gonna be October 23rd and 24th.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:51

So links to all that and more you can find on swingersight.net. Go check it out. All right, anything else for the Swing Nation listeners, Lacey?

SPEAKER_02 1:01:00

No, I think that's it.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:01

All right, let's go get these bags packed and get out of here and head to Jamaica.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:05

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:06

All right, guys. I think with that, in a world full of apples.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:09

Be the pineapple.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:10

Be the pineapple, guys.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:11

Bye.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:11

Bye. If you've enjoyed our podcast and want to support us, leave a five-star review wherever you're listening. If you want to see more of our content, you can find links to Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, OnlyFans, and more in the show notes. Come join the conversation with us and other Twitter content creators on our Twinger Society Discord server. If you have questions or feedback, email them to us at thustwination at gmail.com. Make sure you head on over to thustwination.net and keep up to date on all things TwinNation. We thank you so much for joining us, and we'll see you next time. Goodbye.