Tuesday Talks: Finding Your Lifestyle Vibe

Tuesday Talks: Finding Your Lifestyle Vibe | Episode 119

Not every lifestyle couple enjoys packed venues, booming music, and crowded dance floors—and that’s perfectly okay! In this episode of Tuesday Talks, a listener shares that he and his wife are struggling to find lifestyle events that match their more relaxed personality. They want to connect with others and enjoy new experiences, but the traditional party atmosphere just isn’t their vibe. Dan and Lacy offer practical suggestions, including exploring smaller gatherings, traveling to different lifestyle destinations, and connecting with like-minded couples nearby to find out where they socialize. Tune in for helpful advice on finding your place in the lifestyle without forcing yourself into environments you don’t enjoy.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

This podcast is intended for adult audiences over the age of 18. It contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice.

SPEAKER_02 0:22

Welcome to the Swing Nation Podcast, a podcast by swingers for swingers, where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle. Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe. Interview the experts. Learn and grow together. Join the nation.

SPEAKER_03 0:50

Tuesday talks. Just send your questions to Dan and Lake said. Tuesday talks. Swing Nation got you feeling sexy. Tuesday talks.

SPEAKER_00 1:01

Talking Tuesday with Dan and Lazy. How about that high note?

SPEAKER_02 1:07

Perfect. Hey there, Pineapple people, and welcome to the Swing Nation podcast. We are your host, Northern Guy.

SPEAKER_00 1:13

And Southern Girl.

SPEAKER_02 1:15

And we are back with another rendition of Tuesday Talks.

SPEAKER_00 1:19

We are.

SPEAKER_01 1:20

Talking Tuesday.

SPEAKER_00 1:22

Well, that's better than last week. At least you don't sound like a pre-proof.

SPEAKER_01 1:30

Wacy. The Southern Girl, Wacy, with a W.

SPEAKER_02 1:38

No comment? You're just gonna leave me hanging.

SPEAKER_00 1:40

I'm just like, okay, let me know when you're done.

SPEAKER_02 1:43

Uh all right. You gotta do you have a do you have a question for you?

SPEAKER_00 1:45

I do, I do.

SPEAKER_02 1:46

Alright, so we're back with Tuesday Talks, and I have no idea what question Lacey is. How do you feel about we've kind of flipped the script? So if you've been listening to our podcast for a while, I used to go find all the questions and ask Lacey, and she had no idea what we're talking about. And now flip the script. I don't know why, but it's it's I guess because you're using that phone now for social media and stuff.

SPEAKER_00 2:04

You've kind of baby I'm taking in an issue.

SPEAKER_02 2:06

Taken over. Yeah. Your boss, boss, head H B I C.

SPEAKER_00 2:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:10

All right. Hit it, lay it on in me.

SPEAKER_00 2:11

Okay. It says good afternoon, Swing Nation, Tuesday Talks. We are an older couple in our 50s, and we find that the majority of parties are geared more towards younger crowds. We struggle with with the music as well as the lack of interaction. Do you have suggestions for parties or lifestyle locations that expand the music and entertainment to all age groups? Thank you. Great question.

SPEAKER_02 2:34

That is a great question. And also a little perplexing to me because I've I've most of my life I've felt like the exact opposite. What do you mean? Well, I mean, if if I look, you know, back throughout my time as a little pineapple person growing up and you know in my early 30s and starting to go to swinger parties, I always felt like it was all older people.

SPEAKER_00 2:56

No, no, no. I don't think he's wor trying to find people his age. I think you're missing what he's saying. He's saying that he doesn't want to go and listen to loud music and then just go fuck. He wants, you know, like he does, like maybe not a DJ. Maybe he wants to see a live band, maybe he wants to have conversation, he does, and then like get to know somebody and then, you know, and then it progress to that. It and I don't disagree with him. A lot of events are very much centered around DJs, dancing, pretty loud. The lifestyle is leaning, definitely more EDM lately in the last year.

SPEAKER_02 3:29

The younger generation for sure, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:30

Um, and then you just go fuck, you know, so I can see that. You know, I can see where if you're somebody, and I don't even think it's necessarily age. I mean, he's blaming it on his age here, but I don't think it's necessarily age. I think there is a type of person that just would prefer to get to know someone a little bit more and not just go hop into bed with them. And it's very hard to like meet someone and have like a conversation with them on a dance floor with a DJ. So I get that.

SPEAKER_02 3:53

No, I totally I do understand that. But what I'm saying though is if if I think back on like my history of going to events, I've often felt like this music is not my music, it's like older people's music. This, you know, this the vibe here is not my vibe, it's a little bit of an older vibe. So it is interesting now to hear that at least this person feels like it started to flip to where most of the parties he's going to, it's younger people, yeah, younger people's music, younger people's vibe, so to speak, and he doesn't feel like he identifies, at least with most of the parties in his area.

SPEAKER_00 4:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:29

So what would your advice be to him now?

SPEAKER_00 4:31

To be honest with you I don't have great advice. The truth is you're gonna have to find your people. And this can go for whatever you're into. You know, it could be you're you're you are into the music, and you're uh everybody around your town has a lot of bands. So whatever your vibe is, you're just going to have to find that. And I guarantee you, wherever you live, there's going to be something close-ish. You know, you might have to look a little harder. Like for, and I'm going to use iCandy, for example. I love them. This is nothing against them. But if you are a 60-year-old and you book secrets for iCandy Week and you're, you know, you prefer like a live band in a chiller situation, you're going to walk in and be like, what the fuck did I walk into?

SPEAKER_02 5:10

Well, you can say that for Swinger Suddy, Electric Pleasures. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:14

Um, so you're going to have to find your people. So advice. Something like a HETO, something like a desire. A lot of these places host groups. For example, um, HETO has sexy silver week. If if maybe that's your vibe. Desire, I know they have RM and Pearl. And from my understanding, Pearl is a much like lower speed, calm, almost relaxed, chill vibe. That might be your vibe. So you might, you might have to like bite the bullet and go to desire, you know. Um Pearl.

SPEAKER_01 5:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:51

Yeah. You know, try that. Um, you might have to ask around to people, like-minded people. If you meet someone in your town or town over that is your age and kind of the same, but you may ask them, say, hey, where are y'all going? Because I don't like XYZ Hojo Takeover because it's all young people and the music's hill out, and I just really want to get to know people. Or you might not be able to do events at all because they all around you are geared towards a younger crowd. So then you might need to just find people and maybe have a couple of people over to your house, or maybe go out to a bar. I mean, find some light. It doesn't have to be a swinger party, make your own, you know, like have five or six couples go to the, you know, listen to live music and then maybe after go get hotel rooms or something. I mean, you're just gonna have to do the work to find what you're looking for.

SPEAKER_02 6:42

No, I I agree with that 100%. I I think that is true. So I think, you know, I could see if maybe you live in Louisville or whatever, right? And so the only club in the whole city is uh Tempted. And, you know, yeah, Tempted plays, you know, hip hop music and EDM music. And, you know, maybe that's not, you know, you so you go there on the weekend, it's a bunch of loud music, not really your vibe, right? So now what do you do? You're in Louisville, there's only one club, and you've gone to that club and it's just not it's just not your energy, it's not your vibe. Um, and I I think you hit the nail on the head is you're gonna have to find another group or community in that area that you vibe with.

SPEAKER_00 7:15

Or make your own.

SPEAKER_02 7:16

I mean, honestly, if there's not make your own.

SPEAKER_00 7:18

That's why a lot of these parties and places have been started because people are not finding what they're looking for.

SPEAKER_02 7:24

So there's nothing wrong with starting a sexy silver swingers Louisville Facebook group, right? And then you probably have some, if you're have been in the lifestyle for a while in that area, you probably have some friends that you can invite. You could probably start hosting meet and greets at a local bar, you know. Maybe that then turns into, you know, doing an Airbnb hotel, you know, like kind of house party every you know, a couple months, uh, you know, and then maybe that same group you guys go to HETA once a year to the sexy silver week, you know what I mean? That's how this kind of stuff happens. Like, so if if you're in an area and there's not a a venue or a place for you that you identify with, there's probably a need for that type of community. Um, and so you're gonna have to find it or create it or travel for it, right? So if if you don't want to start a Facebook group and start organizing yourself because that's just too much work, you're probably gonna have to travel to one, right? So, like you said, um, and that's a lot a reason I love like Bliss Cruise and Naughty New Orleans and some of these bigger events um is that they cater to everybody, right? So if you go on Bliss Cruise, yeah, there's a club that's probably playing EDM music, but they also have the piano bar, right?

SPEAKER_00 8:33

Or the martini bar or karaoke or whatever you so you find your people there, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:41

And even Hito, like usually the parties at the nude pool, but there is a there's also a piano bar, there's also a wine bar and a cigar bar, there's the prude side uh pools and stuff that are more chill. Uh so you know, even even at a place like Hito, you can be, you know, loud music partying, or you can kind of be chilling uh somewhere else. And you'll you'll see the groups kind of split up and and head into those areas. And everybody can, you know, the you find like-minded people. And I was actually talking to Russell on on Bliss Cruise, and he's talking about how they're trying to, you know, they're doing more and more venues on the cruises now to where you know at one night there might be EDM music, hip-hop music, country music, and Latin music all happening at the same time on different parts of the ship, uh, especially when they need to do these large, you know, these 7,000, 6,000, 7,000 people ships. And he's like, well, what I like about that is one, it gives everybody a space to go. But then often what happens is when you go to those spaces because you're drawn to the music that you identify with, you usually find people then that you have similarities with, that you connect with. And so the music almost helps build the connection and and get us to where we're all trying to go, which is exploring our fantasies with like-minded people. So um, you know, you can often connect over things like music. So finding the place that has the vibe that matches your vibe will often lead to you finding a connection that you can explore your fantasies with later.

SPEAKER_00 10:03

Yeah. Another couple of other options that I was thinking about, you know, like Naughty Gym, they host smaller groups that are geared towards like more connection-based, not so much Ravy party based. So like they do trips to Costa Rica and they do trips to Aspen in the mountains. They do also topless travel hosts safaris and like there's like Mediterranean cruise. I mean, there's like literally so many options. And so, like, obviously, I I understand that like all of those cost money, and I'm not sure, you know, it might be, but if that's what you're really looking for, maybe you save and you do one thing like that a year or something like that in the meantime. But there's there are things out there you just gonna have to search for them.

SPEAKER_02 10:49

Yeah, no, a hundred percent. Uh, you know, and the websites are great for this kind of stuff. So, you know, like again, if going back to our example, you're in Louisville. I would suggest getting on for the record.

SPEAKER_00 10:58

I don't think this guy's in Louisville. You're just using MS.

SPEAKER_02 11:01

I'm making up a totally making this up. But I'm saying if he was, right, go on STC, SLS, search for groups in in that area, right? So look for local meet and greets in that area. Uh, those websites are also great. If you do want to start your own, you can start a group on those pages and start posting you know public meet and greets and things like that to try to get people to come out uh to your things. Uh and if you know, if you haven't used SDC, SLS, Cassidy, those kind of websites, we do have free trial links. Go to um theswing nation.info. You can get your your free trial links for all those. But uh if those are great places to find like-minded community, off you know, jump on Facebook and just search Swinger in whatever city you're in. You'll probably find a Facebook group. Uh, Reddit has a lot of um different groups. You know, if you swinger in whatever city you're in on Reddit, uh you'll probably find some groups. Those are a little more hookup. Yeah, Reddit's a little more hookup. Facebook's probably a little more community.

SPEAKER_00 11:58

Yeah, honestly, my best advice is to ask people, ask like-minded people where are you going? What are you doing? You know, like I want to go hear live music or I want to go just like chill and relax and get to know people. Just ask those questions. And honestly, some of the best times we've ever had is we went somewhere based off a recommendation.

SPEAKER_02 12:15

So and I would say there's a pretty good chance if if your hometown is like our hometown, there's probably a local bar where everybody kind of knows. Yeah, we have a couple of right. It's not a swingers bar, but it is where like-minded people go to hang out and connect. Uh and there's probably an establishment like that in your area, if especially if you live in a city or a medium-sized metro area, uh, there's probably something like that. So, and like you said, if you you know connect with a like-minded or a like-aged person on STC SLS Cassidy, and if say, you know, if they've been in the community for longer than you, say, hey, what kind of where what kind of places do you go? What kind of music do you like? Uh, you know, is there is there a a bar or a meet and greet or a house party that that you like that you know maybe I could meet my wife could get invited to.

SPEAKER_03 13:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:04

Um, those are the best ways. Like you said, a lot of this is still word of mouth, you know. Like I think the lifestyle is getting more and more mainstream, and there's more and more parties and commercialization of the lifestyle. Uh, but a lot of it's still, I think, and probably some of the best parts about the lifestyle are very uh community, kind of that word of mouth focused. And yeah, um, sometimes it can be hard to find some of those smaller groups and and communities. But uh, if you know where to look, you can you can find it. And I I bet you'll find something that you you you vibe with that you connect with.

SPEAKER_00 13:36

Yep, no, I agree.

SPEAKER_02 13:38

Uh all right, so that helped answer his question. And that in, you know, he was asking specifically about how do I find a slightly older crowd and calmer music, but you could you could answer that the same way if you were looking for a younger crowd in louder music. If you're looking for 20-year-olds, or if you were looking for a a more adventurous, you know, like you said, beep, you know, maybe you're looking for us a lifestyle group that likes to go hiking or fishing or camping or you know, you can find them.

SPEAKER_00 14:05

You just gotta look, yeah. Right.

SPEAKER_02 14:07

Or you can make one, and I bet you'll find people that uh are similar to you and would connect with that. Yeah. All right. Well, I hope that helps answer your question. If you have a Tuesday talk question, we would love to hear from you. There's a few different ways you can get a hold of us. You can email us at theswingnation at gmail.com, theswing nation at gmail. Uh, you can also send us voice notes or a video file, and we'll put you on our big screen and you can ask your question in, I guess, virtual, in person, but virtually. Uh we haven't done that yet, so we're still waiting on our first video question. Uh, and we'd love to hear from you. Or you can call or text, and that phone number is 972-302-7716. One more time.

SPEAKER_00 14:53

972-302-7716.

SPEAKER_02 14:56

Uh yeah, so Tuesday talks is a popular it's kind of a popular thing. Like people, people are they're catching on to it. I think our downloads for Tuesday talk episodes is equal to, if not, eclipsing um the full length podcast. Yeah. Wish that says something. Uh so we need your questions though. We do to make that happen. So please call us, text us, email us. If you've been thinking about calling in for a while, now's the time to do it. We'd love to hear from you. Um, so please, please do so. Yeah. All right. Anything else for the swing nation listeners? No, I think that's it. I think with that, in a world full of apples, be the pineapple. Be the pineapple guys.

SPEAKER_00 15:39

Bye.

SPEAKER_02 15:39

Bye. If you've enjoyed our podcast and want to support us, leave a five-star review wherever you're listening. If you want to see more of our content, you can find links to Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, OnlyFans, and more in the show notes. Come join the conversation with us and other Twinger content creators on our Twinger Society Discord server. If you have questions or feedback, email them to us at dustwination at gmail.com. Make sure you head on over to dustwination.net and keep up to date on all things Twin Nation. We thank you so much for joining us, and we'll see you next time. Goodbye.