Tuesday Talks: Can We Be Honest without Hurting the Lifestyle?

Tuesday Talks: Can We Be Honest without Hurting the Lifestyle? | Episode 120

In this episode of Tuesday Talks, Dan and Lacy hear from another couple in the podcasting world who asks an important question: Do they ever feel pressure to hold back the negative or complicated parts of the lifestyle?

When you are working to challenge the stigma surrounding consensual non-monogamy, it can sometimes feel like every story has to portray the lifestyle in a positive light. But does being an advocate mean avoiding honest conversations about bad experiences, mistakes, uncomfortable moments, or the very real challenges that can come with this journey?

Dan and Lacy share an honest look at how they balance advocacy with authenticity, why acknowledging the difficult parts does not mean condemning the lifestyle, and how they decide which personal stories they are comfortable sharing publicly. They also discuss the responsibility that comes with having a platform—and why honest, nuanced conversations may be one of the most powerful ways to fight stigma.

Get Tickets to Electric Pleasures

- The Swing Nation -

 Main Website

 Quick Navigation Website: -- (Find all our social media links & more!)

- Swinger Society -

 Our Website to meet, connect & events

 Swinger Society Discord

 Our Facebook Group

- Swinger Websites -

Kasadie 90 day free trial
Username: TheSwingNation

 SDC 14 day free trial 
Username: TheSwingNation
** Use code 36313 for 14 days free! **

 SLS
Username: NorthernGuynSouthernGirl

- Merch & More -
Order Your Merch Here!

- Lacy’s Fun Links -
VIP OnlyFans
PREMIUM OnlyFans

-- THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS --

Wisp : Making sexual healthcare inclusive, cost-effective, and accessible—for everyone
Use Code SWING at checkout for 15% off your oder!

Shameless Care: ED Medication and at home STD testing
Use Code TSN at checkout for $30 off your order!

Promescent® Make Love Longer, It’s Time for Great Sex
Use Code SwingNation for 5% off!

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

This podcast is intended for adult audiences over the age of 18. It contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice.

SPEAKER_02 0:22

Welcome to the Swing Nation Podcast, a podcast by swingers for swingers, where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle. Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe, interview the experts, learn and grow together. Join the nation.

SPEAKER_00 0:50

Tuesday talks. Just send your questions to Dan and Lake said. Tuesday talks. Swing Nation got you feeling sexy. Tuesday talks.

SPEAKER_01 1:01

Talking Tuesday with Dan and Lacy. How about that high note?

SPEAKER_02 1:08

Hey there, Pineapple people, and welcome to the Swing Nation podcast. We are your host, Northern Guy and Southern Girl. And we are back with another rendition of Tuesday Talk.

SPEAKER_01 1:18

Yes. Talking about it. What was that? Sound like a teenager going through puberty. Okay, moving right along. We we I was excited. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:41

Go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 1:42

I was excited when I saw this. Don't don't.

SPEAKER_02 1:46

You're excited. I'm excited.

SPEAKER_01 1:48

I was excited when I saw this Tuesday talk come through because it's from a fellow podcaster that we met at uh Naughty, and they even sent us, we took a selfie at the sexual freedom parade. So they sent that as well. Okay. So it says, Hey Dana Lacey, Jeff and Shannon here from the Real Swing podcast. We just returned home from our second Naughty Nollins, and wow, what an amazing week. It was great to see you guys and chat a bit. We love the authenticity of the Tuesday talk segments and have a question that we would love to get your take on. With so much negative negative stigma surrounding the lifestyle and consensual nominogamy, do you ever feel hesitant to openly discuss the less than perfect moments, the challenges, conflicts, or difficult situations that sometimes come up because you worry it would reinforce those negative stereotypes. We love listening to your show and sharing so many of your thoughts and experiences alongside our own with our listeners. Thank you so much for having the courage to become industry leaders by putting yourself out there and helping our community greater, I'm sorry, and help give our community greater visibility and a stronger voice. Until next time, Jeff and Janon.

SPEAKER_02 2:57

Well, that is a one, a very nice email. Yeah. And appreciate that. And thank you for the kind words. That means a lot to us. Um, and secondly, that is also a great question, right? And this is something we've thought about. And probably these type of questions or or things have come up multiple times um since we kind of went public and have become quote unquote lifestyle swinger influencers. Um, and if I'm being honest, uh it it has affected us, right? We've thought about before when going through situations and dealing with things that the way that we handled this in in some ways is bigger than us, right? Because we have such a public profile, you know, if we fuck up, if we do something wrong, is that going to make the entire community look bad, right? Or are people gonna use this? Uh, you know, and we've seen things like other friends of ours that are influencers when they get divorced, right? And then people all jump on the of course they got divorced, they're swingers, you know, bandwagon. Um, so I I think there is if you are somebody in a public setting that are, even though you know nobody voted for Dan and Lacey to be like the representation, the representatives of the lifestyle, right? But just because we just happen to find this niche and we hit TikTok at the right time and we've grown this big platform, we are one of the largest and loudest voices for this community currently. Um, so we've we've kind of put ourselves in this place. So I do think we have some responsibility to handle that appropriately and to try to represent the community in the best way that we can.

SPEAKER_01 4:45

Yeah, I agree with you, but also I don't really think that, like me personally, I don't sugarcoat things for like the podcast for the sake of the lifestyle. For example, I threw up at Naughty in New Orleans in public. Could I have not said that? Because I don't want people to think that people in the lifestyle get too drunk and are sloppy. You know what I mean? Like, I I probably could have left that out to make the lifestyle look better, but I I chose not to because it's true. If you've been in the lifestyle and you have and you're someone that partakes in alcohol, you have probably overconsumed at some point, you know? And I think to like not talk about it is like glossing over, sugar coating a situation that a lot of people, when they're newer to the lifestyle, struggle with how much they drink, you know. So like I I feel like if anything, I try really hard to keep it authentic because I know if I'm going through it or if I'm thinking it, someone else is also thinking it. So I think of more of those terms.

SPEAKER_02 5:49

No, I think you're correct. So I think one, I think both things are true. I think one, because of who we are and how public we are, there is pressure on us to act in a way that reflects well on the community, right? And I think we feel that pressure. Like I think we feel that, right? But I think two being authentic or trying to be as authentic as we can is the we have a duty to do that because you don't want to sugarcoat everything, right? People are listening to us and they're making decisions on whether or not or not them and their partner want to join this lifestyle. And if we paint it as all rosy, you know, rose-colored petals and it's all perfect and wonderful, and everybody's sexy, and everybody's dick works, and everything's great all the time, that's that's not fair, right? We should we should give an objective truth to people that using our platform, right? We should we should try to be as authentic as we can be. Now, what I think I have seen some influencers do that I don't like is the clickbait where they almost feed into the stigma.

SPEAKER_01 7:00

Yeah, we absolutely refuse to to to not do that. And listen, and there's no judgment here because those people are making bank, you know, those videos, those things are going viral, and that's just more money in their their pocket. But fundamentally, we've just chosen to not do a lot of the clickbaity things, you know, because we feel like it gives the lifestyle a bad rep. Listen, and I'm not gonna lie and say here that I've never done it because there's like I can think of like two or three off the top of my head situations where I was with a big group and everybody was like, hey, let's make this TikTok or let's make this real. And I did it. And then afterwards I was like, fuck, I shouldn't have done that because that doesn't represent me. So, like, if you look hard enough, you're gonna find some. But for the most part, I try really hard to not play into those stigmas, you know, like we already have like a bad look just being swingers, so I don't want to play into it.

SPEAKER_02 7:55

Yeah. So I think, I mean, you know, it's hard for us to answer this question, I think, for the real swing podcast. Cause I think they're gonna have to find out where those lines are for them. And and honestly, like you said, we've probably wavered on that, you know, where we were a year or two ago. It's probably not where we are now. Uh, and we've probably done things that we maybe shouldn't have done and and kind of fed into some of that.

SPEAKER_01 8:19

But we learned from them and came back.

SPEAKER_02 8:20

But there there definitely is a if you want to get clicks and views, you can lean into the swinger stigmas and get more clicks and views, right? The the stuff like, oh, me and my wife are swingers, and I so I let my husband fuck my mom or my sister, or you know, like that stuff's gonna get a ton of attention, right? There's ways to use this community to get yourself attention. Um, and honestly, if you're just an OnlyFans girl and you're not necessarily like you don't view yourself as like an educator, or you're not somebody that's you know um providing educational content, I don't even know if I really have that much of a problem with that. I have no problem with any of those. Go get your bag, right?

SPEAKER_01 8:57

I have no problem with any of them doing. I think we've just we've kind of put ourselves in a different situation, right?

SPEAKER_02 9:03

But because we're educators, because we are kind of ambassadors for the lifestyle, I self-proclaimed, right?

SPEAKER_01 9:09

Self-proclaimed.

SPEAKER_02 9:10

I think we do have to hold ourselves to a little bit higher of a standard than that. And um, so I think you know, we try to be as authentic as we can be and talk about the drama, but in a but not over-dramatizing the drama, right? Talking about it and maybe even sometimes playing it down a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 9:31

Yeah, I was gonna say, like some examples of things that where we're not 100% when we sit here is we care about our friends, right? So if somebody that I know very well, that all my friends know, Dick just will not get hard, I'm not gonna come here on this podcast and be like, Joe Smo's dick could get hard. And I was so pissed off, and I just wanted to be, I'm not gonna do that to them because I care about that friend's feelings, and I feel like that's just a negative view. You know, I just put they feel like that just puts negative energy out there. Now, will I mention that we didn't have sex and maybe gloss over the fact that his dick didn't work?

SPEAKER_02 10:09

Yeah, probably, but I'm not going to or if it was an orgy, you might say, Oh, there's a few guys that had were struggling.

SPEAKER_01 10:15

But I'm not going to call someone out. Also, if you've noticed over the last year or two, and not even intentionally, we've we've kind of quit saying names. You know, a lot of the people that we would have sex with and talk about on the podcast became almost like characters in their own sense, which they loved, we loved, it was kind of fun. Until their families found out, until their families found out, or then friends would get jealous of friends, and it just became more work and more drama than it was worth. So now when we talk about orgies, we just say we went with two or three couples. We don't, you know, we don't label it out, which I think does give a disservice to, you know, like the listeners, because I think it was fun to kind of know, but but right.

SPEAKER_02 10:57

There's more of a storyline, there's more of a plot, there's more characters when we actually say names and things like that.

SPEAKER_01 11:02

I think overall, for like our like our our mental health, our well-being, our friends. And to protect our friends. To protect our friends, the people that we care about. We've just chosen. So like these are things that we've we've chosen to kind of adjust. Also, if we go into a club and maybe it's not our favorite, we're not gonna say that was the shittiest fucking club I've ever been in. We're just not gonna do that. Right. We're not gonna tear down someone who is also a lifestyle business who is trying to make it. Will we say it wasn't my favorite?

SPEAKER_02 11:31

Will we say wish they had water in the playroom? Yeah, yeah. Like, yeah. I mean, we critique clubs, but without being we're just not nasty. We're not food critics where we're just gonna tear them apart, right? We try to critique them as honestly as we can with but by still respecting them and and you know, uh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:48

So we probably downplay some stuff, you know, but uh we but we try to be yeah honest and but otherwise, outside of those things, we're pretty fucking authentic, you know. Like if something like if it's to our detriment, we're gonna tell you, you know, like if well those are the easiest things.

SPEAKER_02 12:04

If if my dick doesn't get hard or Lacey gets jealous or insecure, or you know, if we get our feelings hurt, those are the easiest stories to tell. And and honestly, some of the ones I think people um connect with the most. Yeah, uh, it's just it gets complicated when it's our friends or when it's other business owners or when it's you know, it's because they're they're the they didn't choose to start a podcast, you know what I mean? And we've gotten permission and consent from all of them, but we're still kind of walking a fine line, you know.

SPEAKER_01 12:33

So to sum all that up, we do think that we what's the word I'm looking for? Um we do think that we have to hold ourselves to a higher standard because we do have a large platform, we do want to be respectful of the lifestyle and other people, but we also want to show the good, bad, and the ugly. And so we try to do that in the most authentic way where we can still sleep at night, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_02 12:59

Yeah. No, I think that's that's the the road we're on. And that's it's not an easy road. I don't think we know all the answers.

SPEAKER_01 13:04

Sometimes we fuck up.

SPEAKER_02 13:05

We've totally fucked up, we'll fuck up again. Um, but we're we're trying, we're genuine, genuinely and authentically trying to represent um both ourselves and this community as as positively as we can. I think we have a service to try to be as authentic and tell the good, bad, and the ugly. Um, but I think we can do that in a kind way without bashing people, and I think we can do that in a way without necessarily just chasing clicks and clickbait and and things like that. So we've tried to strike a balance between all of those things. We don't always do it well, but but that's that's the goal.

SPEAKER_01 13:40

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 13:41

Uh so I hope that helps answer your question. That was a good one. Yeah, and it's kind of kind of different.

SPEAKER_01 13:46

Yeah, that's why I liked it when I saw it come through and it was them. And it was a pleasure getting in chat with y'all.

SPEAKER_02 13:51

Amazing couple. We they they shared a booth with us, they were their booth with beside us at Naughty. So we were stalking tables together with them and got to talk to them several times. Uh super sweet couple. Go listen to uh the real swing podcast, check them out. It's always good to get another perspective out there. Um, and you know, we we are definitely not gatekeepers. There's there's a million different sources of information for the lifestyle out there, and I would suggest you check out as many of them as you can, and probably one or two of them will kind of strike a chord with you and say, like, oh yeah, that's yeah, yeah, because we're like primarily a full swap couple, same room, full swap, but you may not be.

SPEAKER_01 14:32

So go find a podcast that works with whatever your play style is.

SPEAKER_02 14:35

Yeah, we're very like event oriented and full swap, same room, or but if that's not your vibe, groups, orgy's groups, the camera just fell. Uh groups, orgy's playrooms. So, like, yeah, maybe you're a hot wife couple, maybe you don't even go to events and you more like date and meet up, maybe you're more poly. Uh you know, there's a a hundred different ways. So uh, and I bet you there's a podcast out there for you uh where people can give you advice on that kind of stuff.

SPEAKER_01 15:03

Yep, agreed.

SPEAKER_02 15:04

All right. If you have a Tuesday talk question, we would love to hear from you. There's a few different ways you can get a hold of us. You can email us at theswingnation at gmail.com, theswing nation at gmail. Uh, you can email your question, you can send us an audio file, or you can send us a video file, and I'll put you up on the big screen.

SPEAKER_00 15:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:24

Uh, we have yet to have that. A few people have hinted at wanting to do it. Yeah. But we have yet to get one into our inbox. So I'm excited for that. Uh, or you can call or text, and that phone number is 972-302-7716. One more time.

SPEAKER_01 15:41

972-302-7716.

SPEAKER_02 15:44

Uh, so you can call or text that phone number. You can also send um, you know, voice notes if you'd rather do it that way, or you can send a video that way as well. Uh, we need your questions. Yes. Tuesday talk is not possible without swing nation listeners and swing nation questions. Yes. Everywhere we go, we always get positive feedback about Tuesday talks. People are always like, I love your podcast, but I especially love those Tuesday talk questions. So people are excited about it. So we want to keep it going, but we need your help to make that happen. So if you've been thinking about writing or calling in, please don't wait another day. Go do that. We can't wait to hear from you.

SPEAKER_01 16:21

Yes, I agree.

SPEAKER_02 16:22

All right. Anything else for the Swing Nation listeners, Lacey?

SPEAKER_01 16:25

I think that's it.

SPEAKER_02 16:26

All right, guys. I think with that, in a world full of apples.

SPEAKER_01 16:29

Be the pineapple.

SPEAKER_02 16:30

Be the pineapple, guys. Bye. Bye. If you've enjoyed our podcast and want to support us, leave a five-star review wherever you're listening. If you want to see more of our content, you can find links to Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, OnlyFans, and more in the show notes. Come join the conversation with us and other Twinger content creators on our Twinger Society Discord server. If you have questions or feedback, email them to us at dustwination at gmail.com. Make sure you head on over to dustwination.net and keep up to date on all things Twin Nation. We thank you so much for joining us, and we'll see you next time. Goodbye.