Tuesday Talks: How Single Guys Can Make Real Connections

Tuesday Talks: How Single Guys Can Make Real Connections| Episode 121

This week on Tuesday Talks, Dan and Lacy are answering their very first video question! 

A good-looking single guy videos in with a question a lot of single men in the lifestyle probably have: How do you actually break into a friend group at events—and what’s the best way to approach couples without coming across as creepy?

Dan and Lacy share practical advice for navigating lifestyle events as a single guy, from making genuine friendships and reading the room to approaching couples respectfully and understanding when to make a move… and when to back off.

Because being attractive might get someone’s attention, but social awareness, confidence, respect, and good energy are what actually get you invited back.

Whether you're a single guy trying to find your place in the lifestyle or a couple wondering what makes certain singles stand out for all the right reasons, this episode has plenty of tips to take with you to your next event.

Tune in for an honest conversation about making connections, avoiding the “creepy single guy” stereotype, and becoming someone people genuinely want in their circle.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

This podcast is intended for adult audiences over the age of 18. It contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice.

SPEAKER_02 0:22

Welcome to the Swing Nation Podcast, a podcast by swingers for swingers, where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle. Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe. Interview the experts. Learn and grow together. Join the nation.

SPEAKER_01 0:50

Tuesday talks. Just send your questions to Dan and Lix and Tuesday talks. Swing Nation got you feeling sexy. Tuesday talks.

SPEAKER_03 1:01

Talking Tuesday with Dan and Lazy. How about that high note? That was perfect.

SPEAKER_02 1:08

Hey there, pineapple people, and welcome to the Swing Nation Podcast. We are your hosts, Northern Guy and Southern Girl. And we are back with another rendition of Tuesday Talks.

SPEAKER_03 1:19

We are. Talking Tuesday with Dan and Wazy. Did you see our shirts? I got a shirt. We need to wear them.

SPEAKER_02 1:29

Uh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:30

So somebody I made a TikTok, so Dan I'll have to post it on Instagram and TikTok, but uh somebody made us Dan and Wacy shirts. Or Doug and Wacey, sorry. Also, somebody came up with me a new name. Uh what did he say? Uh let's see. Instead of Wacy? Wacey. It's like let's see. Like let's see that bod.

SPEAKER_02 1:53

Let's see that bod.

unknown 1:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:55

I like Wacy.

SPEAKER_03 1:57

I think that's right. He's probably gonna get on to me. I said it wrong after he told me, so I think that's right. I don't know. You know who you are, a trad.

SPEAKER_02 2:04

Uh all right. Are you ready for this week's Tuesday talk?

SPEAKER_03 2:09

We are, and Dan is very excited.

SPEAKER_02 2:11

I could not be more excited.

SPEAKER_03 2:13

Yeah. You know why? Because we have a video.

SPEAKER_02 2:18

Alright. I'm bringing the video up on the big screen. So if you are a YouTuber, you'll be able to see this question. Uh I don't know if we're gonna play it like this or if Tara will just like crop this into the video itself. You know what I mean? The actual video into the video. Um, but for us sitting here, we'll watch it like this on the big screen. Are you ready?

SPEAKER_03 2:40

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 2:41

Good morning, Dan and Lacey, you honorable humans. I'm Kevin. I'm from Canada, and I'm very new to this whole lifestyle experience. And in fact, my very first experience was on the Bliss Cruise that I got to meet you guys every so briefly on a couple of different occasions in April. And one thing I kind of discovered, especially with all the different meet and greets and group events going on, uh, it's kind of hard to be included as a single male. I understand why. But there still needs to be kind of an influx of new blood and such like that. So my question, which is a kind of a two-part question, how does one get included in these events uh without knowing the organizers, without being part of a couple through, or so on, or being a part of the entertainment, for example? Uh my second part or second question is when you're at these events, like the meet and greets, how does one initiate or be included in some of these conversations without seeming off-putting? Um because you still want to make these relationships and you still want to meet people and be included, but you're not going to be included if you're a wallflower. If you're just sitting at the sidelines waiting for someone to approach you. Some people, maybe, but not everybody. So I appreciate your time and thank you for taking my question. Hopefully, it's your very first video question. Have a good day.

SPEAKER_03 3:56

I like the video questions. He's hot.

SPEAKER_02 4:00

He is a pretty attractive looking guy.

SPEAKER_03 4:03

He's got big, if you're not watching this on YouTube, he's got big muscles and he's got giant fucking hands. Am I the only one? Did you notice his hand?

SPEAKER_02 4:11

He's a very fit man. Uh okay, so he had two questions, right? So one, he it was kind of the uh, if you're not a member, a part of the group and you're approaching a new group, especially as a single male, uh, and not part of a couple, how do you how do you do that? And then uh two, it was kind of his question was at meet and greets and stuff. So how do you physically like go up to somebody without necessarily seeming pushy or or or anything like that? Yeah. I don't remember one is kind of how do you crack into a group, I guess. And then two is how do you approach somebody without coming off creepy?

SPEAKER_03 4:47

The crack into a group, we get this question often, not only from singles. I would imagine from a single standpoint is probably harder than like a couple, because we get people that thought all the time. Like, how do we be part of your group? That's really hard for me to explain, you know. Um, and I know he doesn't mean our group, he just means a group in general. Um, but that's a very hard one to explain. I think it's you you have to have the right amount of confidence, the right amount of charisma, the right amount of like sex appeal. Like you gotta look to the part, which he does. Um, I think you have to have like a combination of all of that. And I think you have to be like almost a little bit assertive without being like cocky. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_02 5:31

Yeah, I so I didn't did you catch his name? Did he say his name? I don't know if he did or not. Uh I didn't catch his name. But uh just like you, when I watched this video, I'm like, I don't even remember meeting him.

SPEAKER_03 5:38

I don't remember.

SPEAKER_02 5:39

So he said he was on the April Bliss Cruise and he met us a few times.

SPEAKER_03 5:43

But he also mentioned entertainment if you're not part of the entertainment. And he if he was a single, I'm curious.

SPEAKER_02 5:49

So that was the second part of what I was confused because he was saying he always met us on the Bliss Cruise a couple times, but then he said, How do you approach your group as a single? But you can't get on the Bliss Cruise as a single unless you are either a DJ or an entertainer or something like that, or you are part of a couple or a thruple. Yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 6:06

So I bet he was part of entertainment something. I bet he was because he mentioned that.

SPEAKER_01 6:11

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 6:12

Um, I don't remember meeting him, and he's a very good looking man. So that just tells you how many people we meet on these type of sh uh on these type of cruises and big events of this. We meet so many people, it's really hard, you know, to give people individual.

SPEAKER_02 6:25

Well, and a lot of it's just like in passing in the hallways, and it's a quick like two-second thing.

SPEAKER_03 6:29

Yeah, um, so yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:32

So anyway, that intrigued me because it's like, well, there's more to the story because this man was somehow on the Bliss cruise as a single.

SPEAKER_03 6:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:39

So he must have been something, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:41

Or working with Bliss or something, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:43

Yeah, I don't know. Um, okay, so how do we get into a group? I think the first part, and then I think the second part is as a single guy, right? So yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:51

Well, I so I don't know if so, like you're saying, you have to have the right charisma, the right, the right stand up, uh, the right, you know, outwardness and funniness and attractiveness. This guy seems, I mean, he really seems like if you were looking for a single male to come and join you as a couple, he seems like he has it. Listen listening to him talk, he seems like he's respectful, he seems like he's intelligent, he's obviously attractive.

SPEAKER_03 7:14

He looks clean, he doesn't, you know, it looks like he takes care of himself. Like he really does fit all the boxes. So in this case, I think you just have to be a little bit assertive. I think you have to like kind of go in and and introduce yourself. You know, you don't need to sit, like you said, wildflower, you don't need to sit on the sidelines, you need to go up and introduce yourself. And I think you need to like have, you know, play like a like that kind of role. You need to have a little bit of swagger.

SPEAKER_02 7:43

I do how what are your feelings? And because I think this might be part of what he encountered. Single males approaching groups of couples often get shut out. Right?

SPEAKER_03 7:58

But I think if you just want to be their friend, I think a lot of single males are just trying to get fucked, right? So they're just like try like they're trying to swoop in to get fucked. And I think if you that's the wrong approach. The single male game is the long game, right? You it's it you have to work towards like respect and acceptance, stuff like that. So like if you just go in just to trying to be people's friends and like meet them and chat and get to know them, especially if you look the way that he does, and you are, you know what I mean? Like if you are he really looks the part of a single male. If you have that and you just really go in to try to make friends and stuff like that, I think that's gonna take you a lot longer. Like, I mean, like take you further. That's what I mean. Like, you might not get laid that first then, but if you keep going and you keep doing those things, I think eventually you will.

SPEAKER_02 8:46

No, I 100% agree with you. I think if you are a single male and it's one as a person that kind of was in that role for a while, I think you do have to, you know, put yourself out there, but then I think you do have to play this kind of this long game of, you know, proving that I'm just not trying to get fucked tonight. And, you know, I'm here to be a friend and I'm here to, you know, be a part of the group, not necessarily just here to fuck your wife and then leave. Um, but some couples like the here to fuck your wife and then leave things. But I will say, from personal experience, I think even me and you have seen this happen, where a single male approaches the group, seems like a nice guy, attractive guy, uh, approaches respectfully, but other male husbands in the group are basically like, Oh, you're single to do, get the fuck out of here.

SPEAKER_03 9:31

Yeah, but then other guys I feel like have okay, so like I'm gonna say I'm gonna say their names because there's these are very generic names. But like Chase used to come to Secrets quite often. I feel like he was very well.

SPEAKER_02 9:43

But he came with a couple with a couple as a basically like was his George.

SPEAKER_03 9:48

He is a great single male. He is very welcome. Yeah, you know, but these are people that have like established themselves. Established themselves, you know. So I think that they're in like I think there's a place for single males. I think a lot of people give single males a bad rap, but truly, single males are needed. Nine times out of ten, there's a few dicks in there that are not getting hard in an orgy. And if you are a single male that looks good, your dick can get hard, and you're respectful, you just gotta be at the right place at the right time, and then and then you'll prove your because you almost have to like prove where like a unicorn, for instance, she doesn't have to prove anything, she just has to be hot. And you're gonna show up. Yeah, a single male has to almost like prove that he's worthy, which is kind of ridiculous.

SPEAKER_02 10:30

But now I would say, you know, I think single males, if you're going into something like a bliss cruise or even like one of our secrets or a hotel takeover, like getting in the chat rooms, getting, you know, reaching out to people on some of the dating sites ahead of time, you know, go check that that attendee list and start reaching out for couples ahead of time.

SPEAKER_03 10:47

That's great.

SPEAKER_02 10:48

Um, because I do think, you know, find the couples that are looking for that and have a conversation with them. Because they are because just randomly approaching people in a pool, you're gonna get a lot of couples that they might just blow you off. And they might not even mean to, but they're probably not looking for a single male.

SPEAKER_03 11:04

Or, you know, so I think not at the pool when nobody's trying to fuck, but I guarantee you at midnight when everybody's trying to fuck and none of the guys can get hard, yeah. If you hopped in there then, they would they would really be into it. I think you're right. Like, especially I think of like not so much like where you message, but like a lot of the things that have like walls, like for instance, our Discord, a lot of groups now have telegram groups, stuff like that. If you could just post like a super hot picture of yourself and be like, hey, my name is Dan, and I'm six, whatever. I'm gonna be at this event, I'm a single guy, I'm very respectful, want to get to know you, not there just to get laid, really want to get to know people, would love to chat.

SPEAKER_02 11:41

If you just have any fantasies or anything that you need an extra guy for, like you know, send me a DM.

SPEAKER_03 11:47

Yeah, stuff like that. I think that's the best way to do it. Just like putting yourself out there. Hey, I'm here. I'm not gonna be creepy, I'm not gonna be weird, but I'm here if you need me. I think that's the best way. And then once you start making connections with one or two couples, that info is gonna it's gonna spread.

SPEAKER_02 12:01

People tell me, when I was a single male, as soon as you have sex with one couple and it's a good experience, they're gonna tell all their friends. Yeah. And then it's gonna go from one couple you have sex with to five to six.

SPEAKER_03 12:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:12

Uh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:13

So I just think you have to like, it's gonna take you a little bit longer, but you just have to kind of be persistent in like you don't want to be like standing against the wall jacking off when everybody's fucking. You know, that's that's the creepy weird guy in the corner.

SPEAKER_02 12:25

You don't walk up a couple's fucking and you just walk up and say, Can I touch you? Yeah, that's who that I don't even know who the fuck you are, dude. Like, yeah, that's like thanks for asking, but no. No, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:36

So I think you just have a different now.

SPEAKER_02 12:37

If that guy walked up and lazy, maybe.

SPEAKER_03 12:42

Um, but yeah, I mean, that would if it I think that advice goes for like you can apply that to almost anything. I definitely think this is geared to single males, but like if you're a couple that doesn't know anybody, same sort of concept, you know? I mean, you just have to put yourself out there. And and it might take a few times of coming and and and meeting people, but eventually I think it'll catch on.

SPEAKER_02 13:02

Yeah. Okay, so what about this? His second question is how do you then approach?

SPEAKER_03 13:08

Um, I think like if there's a bar area, sitting at the bar area, um, and having people come sit next to you and just striking up conversations. I do think like a lot of single guys get intimidated by men, so they wait until the man walks off and then approaches the woman. Don't do that. Honestly, if you could approach the man without the wife, I think that's even better, you know.

SPEAKER_02 13:29

Oh man, your wife is so fucking hot.

SPEAKER_03 13:31

Yeah. And you know how many times a guy has said to Dan, I'm really into Lazy, and I would really like if she's into me, I would really and then he comes back and tells me, and that makes me feel so good, you know.

SPEAKER_02 13:42

So I think like approaching the man that really honestly, that is to me one of the best ways to approach in the lifestyle, and probably one of the ones that's like the best kept secret. Like, not enough people are doing that. Yeah, I I I agree. If a single male that looked like that came up to me and was like, Oh my god, I'm so into your wife, I'd be like, let me introduce you to her. Yeah, I mean, like, hey Lacey, hey, this guy's single and he thinks you're hot. You want to talk to him?

SPEAKER_03 14:08

Like, it comes up to you, like, hey man, I totally respect you. I think what y'all have is great. Your wife is beautiful. I'm not trying to step on any toes, but you know, if y'all are ever But I hear she likes a single mare every once in a while. Yeah, you know, if y'all are interested in it.

SPEAKER_02 14:20

Or she likes two dicks every once in a while.

SPEAKER_03 14:22

Yeah, you know, or if you, you know, if you get in a spot where nobody can get hard and you need some help, call me. I got you. You know, if you guys are looking for a plus one in the org, or yeah, I think approaching like that, you know, I think is it's much better than like what Dan said, just sliding in in the playroom.

SPEAKER_02 14:36

Yeah, because what guys often do is one, like you said, we'll wait till a girl is alone.

SPEAKER_03 14:40

And I don't think they mean bad by it. I think they're nervous. Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:43

And that's not necessarily the best move, right? Because then the husband sees you approaching his wife from across the room and it's like, okay, let me go over there and like Yeah, put him in his place.

SPEAKER_03 14:52

Right.

SPEAKER_02 14:53

And then like two, the worst time to approach is when people are in the middle of fucking and trying to like jump your way in. Now, is there a chance it might work if you just happen to fall into the right situation where they need an extra person? There's a chance, but there's also a chance that you get, you know, shut down. Shut down pretty hard.

SPEAKER_03 15:07

Yeah, honestly, I think sitting at a bar, you know, if you're a good looking guy, dress very well, sitting at the bar, having a drink alone, like I think like especially I'm thinking like Trapeze, I'm thinking, I mean, like uh Tempted has a bar, Bliss has tons of.

SPEAKER_02 15:25

So you're essentially saying like hit those high traffic areas.

SPEAKER_03 15:27

Yeah, just sit there. Literally just sit there and be kind and respectful. Yeah, greet people as they walk up. Hi, how are y'all?

SPEAKER_02 15:34

What about like be just getting in a hot tub or getting in a pool or yeah, I think that's okay.

SPEAKER_03 15:38

I mean, because like obviously, like it's secrets, you kind of have to like get in the pool and chat with people. I do think the hot tubs at night do kind of get inundated with single males where they kind of just sit there and wait, and that gets a little creepy. So if it was me, I would sit at the bar opposed to the hot tub. The hot tub just gives off creeper vibes for me. I don't know what it is. Don't know what it is, but I think it does work for some people. Yeah, I do think it works. Um, so you have to choose that. But yeah, that would be my advice. Just you gotta keep at it, be respectful, look good, make sure your dick's gonna work if you say it's gonna work.

SPEAKER_02 16:12

Yeah, and then I definitely would find the chat groups. The the for most events nowadays, they're starting to do telegram chats.

SPEAKER_03 16:19

Or Facebook pages. They're starting to go to the Facebook pages.

SPEAKER_02 16:21

Uh, you know, we we have our Discord chat rooms for all our stuff. Uh so getting in there and and just kind of getting to know people a little bit ahead of time, um, you know, and maybe even figuring out kind of who the hot wife couples are and stuff like that will I think we'll help you out as well. Yeah, we're sure. Uh and all it takes, I think, is to get close to one couple that's part of a group that can kind of talk positively about you.

SPEAKER_03 16:43

Um or even if you like if you mess if you start messaging people before, being like, hey, you know, like let's say it's a Friday, Saturday night, hey, can we grab drinks Friday night? So then you like you have someone to walk into looking for, you know, like you have see it's kind of scary to walk in alone and all by yourself. So yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:02

All right, we do appreciate your question. You are our first video question, uh, which I'm super excited about. I hope we get more of those. Uh so thank you for being brave and putting your face out there. It means a lot to us. Uh, and so if you have a Tuesday talk question, we would love to hear from you. There's a few different ways you can get a hold of us. You can email us at theswing nation at gmail.com. So you can type out your question. You can send us a video, you can send us an audio file, or you can call or text, and that phone number is 972-302-7716. One more time.

SPEAKER_03 17:43

972-302-7716.

SPEAKER_02 17:47

You can also text prerecorded audio files, or you can send us a text with a video file, and uh, we would love to hear from that. So we could use some more Tuesday talk questions. The Tuesday talk episodes are not possible without you and your questions. So if you have a question that you've been um wanting to get answered, or maybe you had a certain thing happen at an event and you kind of just want our opinion on maybe how you could have handled it differently, or if you think if we think you're in the right, in the wrong, whatever the case may be, uh it's fun to weigh in on some of that stuff as well. Uh, we would love to hear from you. So please reach out. Yes. All right, anything else for the Swing Nation listeners, Lacey? That's it. All right, guys. I think with that, in a world full of apples, beat the pineapple. Be the pineapple, guys. Bye. Bye. If you've enjoyed our podcast and want to support us, leave a five-star review wherever you're listening. If you want to see more of our content, you can find links to Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, OnlyFans, and more in the show notes. Come join the conversation with us and other Twinger content creators on our Twinger Society Discord server. If you have questions or feedback, email them to us at thustwingation at gmail.com. Make sure you head on over to thustwingnation.net and keep up to date on all things Twing Nation. We thank you so much for joining us, and we'll see you next time. Goodbye.